Iced (1988)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

As Good As It Gets

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

There's something tremendously appealing to me about snowbound horror. Great white isolation, nature itself a menace in cold immensity, and of course the beauty of red blood on fleece white snow. Iced regrettably does next to nothing with its potential, but for the bad slasher aficionado it has its merits all the same. Its set up is promising, first shot a freeze frame of skier atop a mountain, stark image, arms outstretched, poles like chill antennae against the sky. Then we have a race, defeat, romantic rejection and rage. One poorly planned night skiing excursion later and there's the back story. Then its a case of various related parties heading up to the mountains to snag a free holiday out of a condo timeshare pitch, then accosted by a ski masked maniac. Its more or less an absolute textbook example of a bad slasher, nudity, very little gore (just a couple of workable gore shots here) and delicious slices of cheese. It works on vivid characters and amusing dialogue, managing a fair level of general amusement despite having little to offer for the most part. There's John, a doctor with an off key attitude and lovely heroine Trina. There's Carl, twitchy and sarcastic cokehead (scarfs up an impressive load of the stuff at one point) who serves up a fun dream sequence and wired paranoia. Best of all is Jeanette, essayed in lively fashion by Lisa Loring, giving her all for the piece like it counts for something, nicely sexual stuff (that's a carrot in your mouth, not a dick! !). Dialogue is for the most part pleasing, especially in a spell of bad date reminiscence (drive in tissue boob fiasco!) and the actors have good chemistry, there's a nice sense of disparate friends uniting and trying to make a holiday work. Things are regrettably a good deal too slow though, most of the deaths are crammed into the final block and the few sex scenes and occasional boobs don't quite hold the weight of maintaining interest, moreover the direction is generally style free (though director Jeff Kwitny did later make a rocking trashfest by the name of Death Train) and the plotting lacks suspense. Things do perk up fairly nicely in the final twenty minutes or so, with tension, fair kills and the odd giggle from continuity errors, culminating in one of the gnarliest lunatic freeze frame closers I've ever seen. Oh, and the music packs some nice daftoid tunage if memory serves. Little here to recommend to anyone that isn't already a devotee of crappy slashers, but to those that are this one is just about worth tapping for a one time watch.

"Iced" is a low-budget and heavy on drama slasher flick about six young vacationers who check into a posh ski resort where they are systematically dispatched by the killer hidden behind the ski mask.It's apparently a retribution for the suicidal death of one of their friends years before."Iced" is a pretty damn bad.Almost nothing happens during the first hour of the film.The multiple conversations shared mostly by the women are dull,unconvincing and add nothing to the story.At least Lisa Loring of "Blood Frenzy" fame gets naked a lot.Fortunately the last half of the film features some creative death scenes via ski-pole and icicle.Still "Iced" is too boring and goreless to satisfy fans of early 80's slasher movies.4 out of 10.One to avoid.

I would love to write a thorough analysis of this slasher opus, but the time it has taken me to write this sentence alone, is worth more of your time then sitting through this pile of "insert censored word here".TRUST ME, having your eyes gouged out by plastic spoons is more enjoyable then watching the pathetic actors bench press spices, ski supposedly downhill on a flat terrain, and die rather bloodlessly and ridiculously. Oh yeah, a plot twist is thrown in...but you won't care, I didn't. "Iced" is not even funny on a so bad it's good level. A miserable experience.

Whoa! How did they crap into plastic? This movie was good at the beginning and the concept seemed pretty good. Little did I realize that while many things get better with time, this just got... pardon the lame expression... "iced". I wasn't expecting top notch acting and the ending credits and beginning credits (just look at the way the title shows up) were shoddy. Maybe a little bit of overuse on the sex (unusual complaint, I'm sure) was possibly the downfall. I mean, just when the guy was flying down the hill, it flashed back and forth between him, and sex. Which would rather be seen? Some of the deaths were interesting (icicles used by HUMANS) but it fell apart towards the end, revealing the killer a bit too soon. A 4 out of 10 since it is worthy (to a point) and it's my kind of movie.