Amsterdamned (1988)

To me, this movie is perfection.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

Amsterdamned is a wonderful late eighties artistic slasher film that suffers from a rather unfortunate title. Although it was made in the Netherlands, it has all the trappings and style of a giallo piece. Honestly if it weren't for the location and language I could have easily taken it for giallo. Speaking of the location, excellent use is made of the canals, especially during one hectic chase scene- which although long, is never boring, and kept me absolutely riveted. The canals and the city of Amsterdam also create a very palpable atmosphere which really brings the entire film up a notch. In fact, it reminds me a lot of the film Don't Look Now. In addition are the meticulously decorated sets common to euro-horror and giallo. Amsterdamned is a fun, tight, and thrilling horror film that can be enjoyed by fans of both giallo and American slashers alike.

This movie was a big surprise to me. I expected only some possibly passable time-waster that might be a giallo or a secret agent film. And with subtitles in English it barely seemed worth my time. But this film is a remarkable chase film with stunts worthy of a bigger budget film. The boat chase is truly remarkable and one wonders how the director, writer, producer, music composer Dick Maas was able to accomplish all this working outside of Hollywood. The film screens like a giallo and secret agent mixture with a touch of horror thrown in at the end. The shock scenes are effectively produced for maximum effect and the story line, while fairly simple, adds up nicely at the end. The atmospheric scenes in the sewers of Amsterdam are extremely well handled. The film is long but doesn't feel so because it is so well paced. The leading lady, who looks like Senta Berger's twin sister, and the leading man, although unknown to film audiences over here do a creditable job. The film has a great deal of energy and is a real edge of your seat thriller. Hats off to the creator of this. I am going now to find out what else of his I might be able to see.

A mysterious serial killer is stalking the canals of Amsterdam. He wears a black wetsuit and diving mask, and he kills with a harpoon. As the body count rises, detective Eric Visser (Stapel) is assigned to catch him. It's not going to be easy, as this particular baddie is extremely clever and crafty. Soon, the full force of Amsterdam's police are chasing down the man terrifying their beloved city. Visser must not only catch the killer, but also protect his young daughter Anneke (Dagelet) and her friend Willy (Bakker), not to mention girlfriend Laura (van de Ven of Stunt Rock, 1980 fame). Can he do it? Amsterdamned, as you might be able to surmise from its great title, is an extremely enjoyable movie with a dark sense of humor. It takes Dutch culture, everything from its red light district, to Rembrandt paintings, to Amstel beer and of course its famous canals and architecture, and injects a malevolent, murdering presence into it. That, and the idea that a killer can use the canals to kill and escape, is excellent, original and crowd-pleasing. The whole venture has a great vibe and thus is a winner.Huub Stapel as Visser is your typical quirky, unshaven cop who gets results. To our eyes he resembles a Dutch Jean Reno, or perhaps a Dutch Cobra (AKA Marion Cobretti). He also has a cool jacket and there are other wonderful 80's fashions on display as well. Writer/director Dick Maas not only uses the city of Amsterdam to its full effect, but he also loads the movie up with inventive moments and unique camera angles. This keeps the pace of the movie on track, although at times it is hard to sustain the nearly two hour running time. And even though most of the characters dubbed their own voices, if the movie had been trimmed of a bit of fat, and subtitled instead of dubbed, we'd be looking at an ultimate classic. As it stands, it's merely great. So not a huge loss there.But we see why Maas decided to dub the movie, he was clearly going for the international (and especially the American) market. And he had every right to be successful in it, as the movie has some great chase scenes, as well as its unique concept and location. So he was able to formulate a winner, and Vestron must have agreed, as they released it on VHS here.Featuring the wonderful end-credits title song by Lois Lane, we strongly recommend Amsterdamned.For more action insanity, drop by: www.comeuppancereviews.com

I am actually on one of the takes of this movie, the bit where the speedboat launches off the half-submerged house boat. If that take had ended up in the finished product, I might have given this film two stars. So, what's wrong with it? Well, the film might have many redeeming features (any film featuring Turkish Delight's Monique vd Ven can't be all bad), and to be sure, some of the camera-work hovering over the Amsterdam canals (although some of these were shot in Utrecht) is very atmospheric, but all is undone by the deus ex vacuum ending. The story, or maybe I should say premise, is that there is a killer lurking in the Amsterdam (see caveat above) canals. Eric Visser (whose name is a pun: it means fisherman) is the police detective charged with finding him, or her, or it (we can't tell, since the killer wears full scuba gear). The film goes through all the usual twists and turns, in order to make you first think and then doubt that X, Y or Z is the killer. But, huge spoiler and even bigger undoing, guess what? The killer, when he is finally unmasked, is someone who wasn't ever in the movie. Haha, had you fooled! It's like a Scooby Doo episode where they tear off the face mask, to find it out it was you. And you had no recollection of featuring in a Scooby Doo episode. I had seen the film in the original Dutch version, anxiously looking if I was in it, and when I lived in the States I convinced some of my friend to rent this movie. I kept a straight face when I told them just how good it was. I guess it was my way of vindicating myself for having had to sit through this movie in the first place. What made the film even worse, was that they used the original cast, some of whom had obviously never spoken a word of English before, and were obviously reading off phonetic cue cards, for the dub, except, wait for it, a young boy, whose English must've been really bad considering the other performances that were left in. HE was dubbed by an English actor with a very deep gravelly voice. Oh, and the title must be the worst pun in the name of a movie ever. To paraphrase the title track - I'll be damned damned damned before I ever again watch Amsterdamned.