Hayride (2012)

Touches You

As Good As It Gets

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Starring Kindergarten Cop (1990) bad guy Richard Tyson we have this generic slasher with slasher Pitchfork. Big well rounded masked individual with *Drumroll* a pitchfork.Full of bad editing, cut away deaths (A real pet hate of mine) and little originality this slasher flick really doesn't bring anything new to the table.Revolving around the men and women providing the annual "Hayride" a scary tractor trailer pulled night time experience and our pitchfork wielding maniac.The ending is pretty dreadful as is the film, but it has it's merits you just need to dig really deep to appreciate them.The Good: Richard Tyson The Hayride experience is kind of neat The Bad:Very generic Poorly edited Awful ending Things I learnt from this movie: In place of a weapon handcuffs can be used to saw a hole through someones neck The editor didn't have a problem how much the camera man focused on the lead girls ass Richard Tyson deserves better An axe to the face will kill you but not damage the plastic hockey mask you were wearing at all

Hayride is supposed to be a slasher, an ode to the slashers. And in fact it is really a slasher, can't disagree about that fact but sadly it's missing a few points that are a must be done in slashers. There isn't any point of view from the killer and there's no nudity.Still I can live with that fact but there's more going on. Sadly this flick is on the boring side because it do has a lot of talking going on and a lot of stupid conversations. But not only that. Most of the killings are done off-camera which naturally doesn't add a positive note towards the horror. The story itself did had a lot of potential but it's the flick itself that really isn't almost watchable due that fact of not showing the horror. Hayride is low budget but doens't offer a nice ride.Gore 0/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 1/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5

Don't be put off by the 'cheeky' packaging. It features a hooded figure that could be Michael Myers (and who doesn't appear in the film) and the 'Halloween' part of the title is highlighted in a familiar font. But this is nothing to do with any 'Halloween' series – it was originally called 'Hayride' and then 'Pitchfork Murders' before settling on its current derivative title.Colours are quite garish, unusually for a horror – making the grass look grassier, the (CGI) rain look rainier and the blood look bloodier! Then the cutesy young couple show up making fun of creepy local superstitions. They are not obnoxious in the way teens are often portrayed as being, but as their bland, squeaky exposition continues, I look forward to the prospect of the stocky escaped 'bat **** crazy' killer coming for them – although as events roll on, their inoffensive simplicity is probably the most consistent thing about this story.The Halloween Hayride takes place at the same time as the legendary killer appears to be on a killing spree. So while the young people are having a great time scaring each other, nearby a couple of policemen stumble upon a number of the killer's victims. Do they warn the youngsters about what is happening? Not at all. This is a curious lack of logic that makes it difficult to retain interest in the goings-on. The twist is that the person we think is the killer actually isn't, and the heroine decides that the moment of their assailant's death is the time to announce she is pregnant. Cue a post credits scene that reveals the killer isn't dead after all.Low budget films can be incredibly good. They belie a lack of resources by being unconstrained by the limitations imposed by big studios and money-men. But when the main purpose appears to be the intention of making a horror-by-numbers that has been done many times before in the last 25 years, it's confounding.

How to describe "Hayride" ? A rather pointless slasher flick, a genre that by 2012 had been a cliché for two if not three decades. Here we see a mysterious character - mysterious in a sense, because there is never any doubt as to his identity, not that it matters - murdering people left right and centre, guys as well as gals just in case there are some in the audience who might be tempted to play the "violence against women" card. Audience, what audience? Heck, would anyone watch this if it were not on YouTube? Seriously, as someone said of a Snoopy Green film, I saw it for free, and I still want my money back.If you are into gore, very weak special effects, the occasional shriek of a damsel, and a mystery that can't be solved because it is really no mystery, you might find something of interest here, or as Abraham Lincoln said once, people who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.