Diary of a Cannibal (2007)

Overrated and overhyped

Absolutely the worst movie.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

You know "women's" pictures of old - tragic love stories, soft focus camera work, weepy scores. Well, the tradition is alive and well in this boring tale from Ulli Lommel. Based on a true story of a man who ate another man because he met on the internet (was it consensual? was it murder?), "Diary of a Cannibal" trades the details to modern California love. It tries to combine horror and romance, but it just falls flat on both counts.As a horror film, it's too slow and not gory enough, plus it gives all the money shots too early. We know what's going to happen and see the same shots over and over again. The way the story is structured, the girl isn't driven to madness or secretly already mad. She just does what she does and seems bored with the whole deal.As a romance, it's too gory and disturbing, plus the romance part really isn't shown well. They meet and they're both relieved the other is cute and walk around on the shore and BLAMMO! that means love. There's just no resonance to it.A silly subplot/twist also fails, as does the irritating "flashback" way the story is told. The performances are also pretty terrible, with the exception of Jillian Swanson who does a nice job as Noelle. And dig the epilogue with the faux Mulder and Scully who are interrogating her! Romance and horror can work - just look at "Dellamorte Dellamore" or even "Return of the Living Dead 3." Just don't look at "Diary of a Cannibal."

Where to begin. Firstly I would like to point out that the "spoiler alert" will spoil nothing as it was already spoiled when it was made.SUMMARY Overall this movie is defiantly NOT WORTH IT! I would NEVER watch it again. I would NEVER recommend it to anyone either. DO NOT be fooled by the tittle or cover.PLOT This movie is not entirely bad. I think the last comment wrote on this said it was based on a book. I'm not too sure about that but I do like the idea of the film. It was a good storyline. Although it seemed to me like the film would have only run for about 40 minutes but they decided that instead of adding more on they have just drag everything out. There was little dialog through the film and when there was you almost wish there wasn't. The whole film was almost like a bunch of kids had done it. You can't really blame the actors when the actual script is that bad.CAMERA QUALITY As soon as the movie starts you can tell it was not properly done. The filming quality was very poor. The movie dragged on and on. Considering it only runs for 80 minutes it feels a lot longer then that. GORE When I picked up the DVD the title and the cover was rather catchy. I love gory movies and I am interested in cannibalism. I was extremely disappointed to find that the movie merely touches cannibalism and the gore was Extremely fake! The "blood" has literally stuck to her face. It was way too thick and didn't even drip. The body parts were also very fake. My boyfriend works on films, particularly war movies so its not like I have no clue what I am on about. I've seen a lot of blood work they have done and it is so much better then this. Where to begin.

I'm sick and tired of reading bad comments about Ulli Lommel's films.I am a devoted fan of Ulli Lommel's movies and have seen many of them, this one "Diary Of A Cannibal" is one of his best so far. I was very impressed with it.Diary Of A Cannibal is certainly unconventional. It is part romance, part drama, and part horror, and the premise is interesting and original. The film examines the issue of cannibalism. There are not very many films that you finish watching and ponder afterwards, but I found myself lying awake thinking about this one after seeing it last night. It left me with a definite impression; both disturbed and curious.In the movie two people, a young man and a young woman, who are intensely in love, decide that the ultimate way to consummate their love for each other is by an act of cannibalism whereby the woman kills her lover and eats his heart, and he submits willingly to the act, and this is portrayed as the ultimate act of love. This obviously conflicts severely with social and legal norms in American society, and the girl is convicted and sentenced to prison for murder, as you would expect. The film mainly examines the ethics and the psychology of the act (not the gore), and interestingly, it seems to portray the act of cannibalism sympathetically, not at all objectively. I don't believe that this is wrong, maybe the film makers are just expressing their opinion, in any case it makes for interesting viewing and it was a bold film to make.The acting was good throughout. I sensed in the performances of the actors, particularly in that of Jilian Swanson (a very beautiful girl), real passion and feeling, and I really believed in and sympathized with her character and the inner conflict she felt because she played it so real, and with subtle conviction. The performances were subtle and morose which perfectly fitted the macabre and ponderous subject matter, and were entirely believable. The music was excellent, well suited, and well employed: very haunting and beautiful. The camera work is the typical realistic documentary style employed on many of Lommel's films, which I quite like because it brings immediacy and realism to the film, but clearly it irks many people who obviously prefer to remain more detached from the subject matter so it can be viewed purely as mindless entertainment. The only factor which costs this film stars in my opinion is the screenplay which could have been better. True, the dialog is minimal, the story is told mostly with images, but sometimes the script was a bit thin, and possibly could it have used some better script writing in parts.I think that the reason many people trash this movie, and Lommels films generally, is because they are too attuned to more conventional films and just want quick satisfaction without having to do too much thinking (blood, gore, violence, etc): this is typical of mainstream audiences, and obviously Lommel does not make films for mainstream audiences.I enjoyed this film and it left me with something to think about. I recommend it to anyone interested in cannibalism or anything related to it, or anyone looking for something a bit different.

I rented this movie looking for a typical gore-fest a la Romero. Was I in for a disappointment. It turned out the be the worst 82 minutes I've spent in a long time. Something could have been done with the story, reputedly based on actual events, but it was not. The set and location shots must have cast the production company hundreds of dollars. The were endless flashbacks that conveyed nothing and were put in solely to add some time to the film. It's a shame that there isn't some sort of "Gong Show" system that would have nipped this one in the bud before it contaminated the viewing public. I don't recall having seen an Ulli Lommel film before but at least I am now forewarned to stay away. Please, if anyone recommends this movie to you, I would suggest that they immediately seek professional help and counseling.