Bewitched Housewives (2007)

Simply Perfect

disgusting, overrated, pointless

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

The rating is a bit generous given the genre but overall it was okay.A star should go for the opening sequence alone. Fred Olen Ray favors tongue in cheek theme related plots, but the open that takes place back in 17th Century Salem is actually a bit impressive. Looks decently real, particularly for a soft core flick. Ted Newsom again plays straight man well, here in a Pilgrim outfit.The film isn't as good afterward though Beverly Lynne and Rebecca Love do their usual (Love looks younger here to me, but her big boobs are in place). Some guys not usually in the series pop up too. No Frankie Cullen etc. The film also seems a bit shorter than usual. And, where does Newsom spend the night exactly after he pops into present day? Does he hide in the bushes somewhere? A few stars for decent goings on and sex scenes, including the finale with some nice comic tidbits. Having the guy explain what went on while our two ladies are nude aside him is a nice touch. Quick shot of BL's pussy. A pretty good bonus scene in a porno our 17th Century babe watches. She must get the Spice Channel -- it was during the day.Overall, watchable late nite soft porn fare, but other films (including "Little Witches" which also has a "let's rob his ideas" ad subplot with extra plot) in the series are better.

Bewitched Housewives (2007) ** 1/2 (out of 4) In the 1600s Salem, a woman (Beverly Lynne) is about to be hanged after she's accused of being a witch and having sex with vegetables. The witch Angelique (Nicole Sheridan) agrees to save her from death but the woman must go to present day and pretend to be a housewife so that the coven can gain more people. If it wasn't for a free preview of The Movie Channel it's doubtful I would have ever seen this movie but I was happy that I did for a couple reasons. For starters, it certainly brought back a nostalgic memory of when I was younger and on weekend the friends and I would stay up late to catch the latest softcore flick that was usually playing on Cinemax in the wee hours of the morning. Another reason this film turned out to be pretty good is that director Fred Olen Ray is obviously a fan of various horror movies as we get a couple nice homages including a joke about "twins of evil" during one of the lesbian sex scenes. It should go without saying but you really don't go to a movie like this for the story or performances. The shocking thing here is how good Lynne actually was in her part and especially early on when she's about to be put to death and she just doesn't quite get what's going on. There's a comedy bit about having sex with vegetables and the actress comes off so charming that I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Even her playing dumb was well done in some of the later scenes. She and Sheridan have a couple pretty erotic sex scenes that will certainly keep the male viewers happy. For the most part the erotic scenes are well-shot and the beautiful women certainly aren't a negative thing. Also in the cast is Ted Newsome doing a good job with the role of Brother Hopkins. Those familiar with the horror genre will probably know some of Newsome's work including his professional relationship with Christopher Lee who plays his own version of this character. BEWITCHED HOUSEWIVES lasts just 78-minutes and even that seems a tad bit long at times but I think the film delivers at what something like this should. It's certainly not a masterpiece or even a good film but there's enough charm to make it worth viewing if you like this sort of thing.

Bewitched Housewives only briefly touches on a universal topic. What are the consequences of witch hunting in a world without justice and outlawing of affection. Bewitched Housewives deals with this subject like no other film. Beverly Lynne is scheduled for hanging in early America when she is saved by a witch played by Nicole Sheridan. Placed in the modern world, Beverly Lynne must deal with culture shock and the nefarious couple (Boisvert and Love) who plan to steal Lynnes new husband's (Bartram)advertising campaign. Love is a standout and steals all the scenes she is in. Sheridan and Stone provide some magic beyond the obvious and aspire to new levels of technical proficiency. The special effects are cutting edge and the sets are extraordinary. The interaction between Lynne and the new world is very thoughtful and works on multiple levels. The witch hunter from the past is truly a vile character who never really understands what he is up against and unfortunately perpetuates many negative male stereotypes. The ending will shock you at first, but after some thought you will realize that it was inevitable. A great soundtrack, mesmerizing images, sensitive performances. Find time for viewing this great film.

Well this is another one of those late Cinemax movies featuring Beverly Lynne and Nicole Sheridan in lead roles...had enough of those? As usual they engage in girl-girls scenes. Also veteran Alexis Bousvert (Nicole's real life husband) and Evan Stone play the usual good guy-bad guy roles. The plot has Beverly Lynne traveling in time escaping repression from a righteous Quaker pilgrim...yes sir that is your basic premise!! Yeesh. Beverly Lynne looks a bit older in this one but quite pretty, Nicole Sheridan does not do it for me anymore.The reason the grade of the movie goes up, is the scorching appearance of redhead sexpot Rebecca Love, who plays her vixen character to a tee and gives us two very good scenes. Also of note, is a scene with an uncredited Kennedy Johnston who looks adorable and quite comfortable in a short but very good sex scene.It is your run of the mill movie, with a thin plot, but the two aforementioned ladies, make it a worthwhile look.