Bikini Girls on Ice (2009)

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Actually the title itself is a sufficient enough reason to stay clear of this movie. I watched it, though, in the slight hope that it might actually turn out to be a decent slasher movie. But no, it was quite the opposite.The story is very simple and generic; a group of young women get trapped in the middle of nowhere with a deviant killer on the rampage."Bikini Girls On Ice" was an entertaining as it was original, enough said. The murderer is no next Jason, Freddy or Michael that is fore sure. In fact you will have forgotten about him immediately when the movie ends. And as for the actual killings, well nothing out of the ordinary, a shame because it could have been what salvaged the movie.All throughout the movie the girls were in bikinis, hence the title. Yeah, I know that it might appeal to a large group of guys, but it was just idiotic. Why would people run around in bikinis during night time? So these women could bring mobile phones but not clothes? It was just so pathetically lame.If you, like me, enjoy a good and entertaining slasher movie, then do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Bikini Girls On Ice". I suffered through it so you don't have to.

Bikini Girls on Ice tries to be a throwback to 80's slashers but lacks atmosphere, nudity, gore or a credible killer. I can live with the girls being terrible actors, clearly they were hired for their ability to wear a bikini but their characters were unlikable and dumb. Likewise, all the male characters except one are unlikable and dumb. The story, thin as it is, doesn't make any sense. The killer, played by William Jarand, kept making weird grunting sounds and was just not menacing. Maybe if this were edited down to 60 minutes it would be watchable, maybe slightly enjoyable, but there is just too much fluff. Slashers were a genre of their time, difficult to replicate these days.

Some movies you just know are going to be bad, and normally I'm able to resist their siren call; but with this one, like a car wreck you have to rubberneck, it just has to be looked at. I think it was the title (I admit it, I'm a movie snob, but I'm still superficial at times).This is a by-the-numbers slasher flick, with all the usual elements: Good Girl Protagonist, Morally Corrupt Associates, The Cute Guy She Really Likes, Abandoned Setting, Warning By Kooky Local Which Goes Ignored, People Going Off Alone So They Can Be Easily Killed, Killer With Vanishing Skills That Would Make A Ninja Green With Envy, and the Indestructible Killer (did I miss any? I tend to avoid slasher movies, so I may have missed a few).However, there were two important points the makers missed, the Killer's Backstory and the Virgin's Revenge. Now, with the Killer's Backstory, I'm sure that had there been one it would have made little difference in the overall quality of the film, but it would've been nice to have some reason why he did what he did.My degree in Armchair Psychology tells me this guy grew up in an abusive home by a single parent (I'm not sure which). Given his penchant for cutting off his victims' bikini tops, either he watched as his father brought home women and focused on their breasts or his mother liked going around the house topless. As for his apparent sexual thrusting during his kills, he was probably caught masturbating and beaten within an inch of his life and now has severe performance anxiety.As for the Virgin's Revenge, missing this one is practically a cardinal sin. You've seen it once, you've seen it a million times. The morally pure protagonist, having spent the first 90% of the movie trying to escape the killer, now faces down the deranged killer all by herself and only by casting aside her puritanical values is she able to defeat him.But in this, aside from throwing a knife into his neck, the protagonist keeps running around screaming and asking him why he's doing what he's doing. Only a timely arrival by the Kooky Local (now armed with a shotgun) saves her. What's more, we don't even see this final battle, instead we are treated to a close up of her eyes. Granted, in real life this is exactly what would happen, but this isn't real life, this is a slasher flick.Usually, when I go into a movie with low expectations, there is always something that keeps it from being a complete waste of my time, but this one actually managed to come in under my expectations. I think I'm going to watch "Scream" now to see a slasher movie done right.

I found this film - which is a great deal less titillating than the salacious title would have you believe - interesting. Not good, but interesting.It is an absolutely generic slasher movie in which, for reasons which do not matter in the slightest, a bunch of bikini-clad girls are stranded at a deserted petrol station following which they are killed, one by one, by a pump attendant who communicates solely in snarls.On the plus side - and this is what I found interesting - the film is well photographed. Night lighting is good, camera placement and shot selection is all thoughtful, and a moderate amount of technical proficiency seems to have gone into the mechanics of making the film. And the girls are a) cute, b) in bikinis (as advertised), and c) entirely without the aid of surgical enhancement.However, the film is trite and derivative, the killer is without motive or sense, and while there may be moderate suspense at times, there are no surprises whatsoever: the whole thing is predictable from start to finish. Therefore, on a creative level, the film must be considered a failure.