Star Odyssey (1979)

How sad is this?

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties. It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

Other than the fact that the copy I watched was apparently edited and spliced by a room full of baboons with kindergarten scissors and Scotch tape, this is undoubtedly the worst tripe ever committed to celluloid. (And yes, I've seen "Plan 9") 1. Alien androids in blonde "Monkees" wigs (Hmmm, "Monkees wigs"! Perhaps that has something to do with the roomful of baboons that edited the film?) 2. Alien Overlord with a face like Hellraiser (without the pins and needles) 3. SuperSmart earthling to "save the day" although he, of course, is on the outs with any and all powers-that-be. 4. Special effects from stock footage from WWII and possibly some earthquake footage (mostly in B/W) 5. Two lovesick, depressed, suicidal, paranoid 'droids' (And yes, I know there was 'Marvin, the Paranoid Android' in "Hitchhikers Guide", but that was a comedy....this isn't) 6. Same 'Glowing eyes' from earthling (opens safe by looking at it), alien overlord (renders competing bidder lifeless) and some guy that's supposed to have psychic abilities (capable of anything from seeing thru playing cards to 'total mind control followed by amnesia'). 7. An entire Earth that is completely apathetic to the fact they're about be all become slaves to an alien overlord. 8. Over acting 9. NO acting 10. To borrow a line from 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back'... "Script? You mean there's a SCRIPT?" (There are way more than 10, but you get the idea.) *** OK!!! SAVING GRACE!!! The best name for a chemical/material ever in any sci-fi movie. "INTHEORYUM" (In Theory....um)

I have no idea what the writer and director were thinking with this piece of drek but it could'nt be storytelling. The story (what there is of it) is a shallow mess, the effects could have been done by a 5th grade class, and the acting is incredibly wooden. If Ed Wood had still been alive when this was made this would have easily made 2nd place to plan 9 from outer space as the worst movie ever made. If you enjoy the type of movies shown by mystery science theatre 3000, then this is for you. I found myself frequently yelling "HYKEBA" during the sword fight scenes and making other comments throughout. the effects rival anything by Ed Wood and might even be worse because they try to use (primitive) computer graphics. I would rather watch Ed's flying hubcaps then the crappy Nintendo graphics used here.

"A race of aliens is en route to Earth with the intent of enslaving the human race. The world turns to a top scientist in the hopes that he, and the team he pits together, can come up with a plan to drive off the extraterrestrial invaders. Is there enough time for our hero and his companions to prepare for a fight the will decide the fate of the entire planet?" asks the DVD sleeve's synopsis.Man's first contact with an alien race turns sour when they want to take over the planet, and make us futuristic slaves. "Star Odyssey" (in English) is a another cheap attempt to cash-in on the "Star Wars" success; although it doesn't really steal much story, and attempts some of its own cheesy style. The title and advertising graphics must have lured fewer victims this time around, as there was no follow-up.Gianni Garko (as Dirk) and Yanti Somer (as Irene) manage to keep straight hero and heroine faces. This had to be difficult with lovesick robots "Tilt" and "Tilly" wandering around. The promise to alter their parts, so the mechanical couple would be able to consummate their relationship, is never shown on screen. Alas, it might have made the movie more than a complete waste of resources. * Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio (10/26/79) Alfonso Brescia ~ Gianni Garko, Yanti Somer, Malisa Longo

Well, as an Italian American, I am obligated to at least try to see the myriad of Italian space flicks; this being one of the worst.I LOVED Mario Bava's Planet of the Vampires, and his other very hip and "neato"(as in "gee that's real neato, Batman!") BUT this one is watchable only for the costumes, the babes, and the pretty good ships effects.I DID love(and still own) War of The Robots", which has a good story and a good "family feeling" among the characters who make up the spaceship crew and their alien allies.If you like hot Italian babes, post "Space 1999" space uniforms, and ships, you will like this film If you want a good story or even a semi-well written one, steer clear of this one!