War of the Planets (1978)

Wow! Such a good movie.

How sad is this?

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Despite the fact that they were produced during the same year , "War of the Planets" had nothing whatever in common with "Star Wars". While the former was definitely an "A-Picture", "War of the Planets" is strictly "Grade-Z". The story is nearly incomprehensible, the writing terrible, the acting wooden and the production values about what one would expect in a high-school play. Some cheesy science-fiction films can be so bad that they are entertaining. however, this example of the genre is simply...bad. About all this film accomplishes is to make the viewer appreciate just how good things like "Star Wars", "Star Trek" and "2001: A Space Odyssey" actually were.

Has a good science fiction film ever come out of Italy? Plenty of bad ones have, and this one might be the worst of the lot. This "2001" wannabe has a disjointed script, amateurish acting, inane-looking sets, crappy costumes with idiotic red helmets, supercomputers made of cardboard with flashing lights and robotic voices, and a dubbing job that makes the Gamera films sound professional.The plot: When the Earth receives a mysterious transmission from beyond its solar system, Captain Alex Hamilton and his starship crew investigate. After much tedium, the ship lands on the planet that sent the signal. It has been taken over by a supercomputer that has killed much of the planet's population and frightened the survivors into living underground. The computer sent the transmission because it needed help replacing its burnt-out circuits, and the natives weren't smart enough for the job. Hamilton destroys the supercomputer (by throwing a rock at it!), but in the process causes a chain reaction that blows up the entire planet. Oops!Item: in the space scenes, the stars bear an uncanny resemblance to light bulbs.Item: in several scenes, the background is solid black. Was a bluescreen beyond the budget, or did the director simply not give a damn?Item: the aliens suggest a cross between Yoda and Hare Krishnas, dipped in Rustoleum.Item: in this futuristic world, people have sex fully clothed and with no physical contact, instead laying their hands on a big ball that sits between them. (Hey, don't ask me!)Item: Captain Hamilton takes one of the alien beings, Etor, aboard the ship (for no apparent reason). Once they're in space, Etor watches the destruction of both his planet and species. His reaction? Well, he doesn't actually have one. For all the emotion on his face, Etor might as well have been watching "The MacNeil/Lehrer Report."Item: The film "climaxes" with a crew member, who the supercomputer has somehow possessed, attempting to sabotage the ship. His face has sprouted ugly red abscesses, he appears to have grown fangs, he foams at the mouth, and his nose runs copiously. As for how a computer can possess a man…. You can't possibly think this film would provide an explanation!Finally, my two favorites lines of dialogue:1) "We disappeared from one place and appeared in another!" 2) "Those strange signals are so baffling."

Yup .. this piece of cinematic doodie, is terrible. Why, Oh why, do I have soft spot for crap movies .. we'll never know. At least I'm not the only one. Apparently this is a kind of follow on from "Planet of the Vampires" .. which although low budget, was quite an entertaining and atmospheric film. It's definitely NOT a Star Wars rip off as it has nothing to do with that.It starts badly, teeters off in the middle, and the less said about the end the better. Best thing to do if you want to see this is with it on youtube .. there's a few places that have it. I certainly wouldn't buy it unless it's on one of those sci-fi movie box sets that contains 100 awful movies.I won't dwell on the 'story' .. but needless to say it's badly made. Awful script ... if awful even comes close to describing it. One can't help but blame the director for a lot of the dumb performances because .. well .. it's his fault! Editing is okay, considering the crappy material they had to work with.But hands down the biggest offence in this film is the music score. Ouch!! .. like being rogered with a prize winning cactus. John Barry proved you could have awesome music in a goody film (Starcrash 1978), so there's no excuse to phone in the score like they did here.Watch it if you dare, or if you're a sucker for bad movie .. like me! This movie could have been saved if the boys and bots at MST3K had riffed it, sadly it wasn't awful enough for them :PWould be a good film for a crap-fest!

War Of The Planets is an Italian science fiction production with cheesy special effects and British actor John Richardson as the captain of a future spaceship much like the Enterprise. When earth starts getting some strange signals, Richardson and the crew go outside our solar system and find a rogue planet with humanoid slaves working for a super colossal computer that's now running everything. The machine feeds on psychic energy and the humanoids it has as slaves are running out. That's why it wants to colonize earth and enslave its population. The film tries for special effects like those in 2001, but misses the mark in light years and in the dollars Stanley Kubrick had available. I wouldn't worry too much if you miss this one, earth survived and so will you.