Club Vampire (1998)

Slow pace in the most part of the movie.

Lack of good storyline.

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Star Andreeff stars as a stripper who is infected with vampire blood and is turned into a bloodsucker when John Savage, a member of the undead clan, fails to kill her at the order of their leader. Oddball comedy with a particularly strange vampire brood straight out of a David Lynch movie. Savage, with a lower lip ring and a propensity to quote movie lines, seems to be having fun in his role as an eccentric vampire who doesn't like to suck blood(his peers consider him a joke, nicknaming him a vegetarian!)and becomes Andreeff's only ally(for some reason, his bunch are all inclusive and do not wish to indoctrinate a new member). One bizarre scene has Andreeff barfing out her insides. Andy Ruben features small strip club numbers(the club is of the underground variety where kink and S&M are the preferred acts by their clientèle)sprinkled in throughout. Andreeff, striking even when she's sickly and starving for blood, was previously in another unique vampire movie, DANCE OF THE DAMNED, and seems at home portraying down-on-their-luck women who live in seedy environments, trying to make ends meet however she can, and in CLUB VAMPIRE she is a single mom working in a club to support her son, the money brought in furnishing his private school education(whenever he bothers to attend, that is)and the condo which is their home. Savage bites the head off of a rat, gets his tongue pulled out by his leader, and sorrows for the loss of his humanity after centuries of seeing civilizations crumble and die to disease and plague. Savage and Andreeff share quite a bit of screen time together, due to his inability to kill her, instead opting to save her, placing himself in danger against his peeps. Ruben shoots in a lot of street urban locations, like alleyways and corners, but is consistent in returning to the club(which has a vampire head at the front, the entrance a fanged mouth)time and again to remind us of Andreeff's position in life and the reason she's in her current situation. Regular on Twin Peaks, dwarf Michael Anderson, has a colorful role as a member of the bloodthirsty vampires who enjoy the predatory hunt of human beings. The other two vampires are Marriam Parris and Diana Frank. Some might remember Ross Malinger as Rocky Balboa's son, here portraying Andreeff's kid, a potential feast if she or Savage can not stop Parris from carrying out her plans. Severed heads are a constant, including one sequence where Savage's head reattaches to his neck! Executive produced by Roger Corman through his New Concorde. I'm on my own because I didn't consider this an absolute failure and one of the worst movies ever made--just weird and kooky. It's unfortunate that Andreeff's career never rose out of the B-movie cellar, she always had potential. Since this movie she has sort of "retired" from the business, many would say CLUB VAMPIRE is one of those reasons. I kind of liked it myself.

I was watching this with one of my friends, who is a vampire freak, and I was extremely disgusted at the fact that this film exists. This film should be shown to prisoners of war, yes, it's that bad. Even John McCain wouldn't be able to sit through this. So why the 3/10 rating? Because it had a vampire midget. Come on, what's more entertaining than a vampire midget? There's one scene in this film where John Savage gets laid by saying "I want to feel human again," and the chick, being the brainless stripper slut she is, lets him "feel human". I wish I could "feel human" with Jessica Alba or Megan Fox. This is a movie for stoners. There is bright flashy objects and random movements. All in all, don't waste your money on this garbage. I got it for free when I was walking down the street with my friend and we saw a garbage barrel full of video tapes and a sign that said "free". So, in a way, I didn't get ripped off, but still...

Vampire blood lust and the need for a plasma fix is a favorite of this director. A one time substance abuser, Mr. Ruben is trying to come to terms with his addiction through this dark and disturbing film. Think of it as similar to Oliver Stone's Platoon or George Lucas' American Graffiti. This film is an artistic exploration of heroin, replacing the needle for fangs.If you believe anything I've just stated then you should be able to stomach this piece of trite. Otherwise, take your brain and your money else where.

John Savage...... My, how the mighty has fallen. Do yourself a favor. When you see this film at your local video store, make the sign of the cross with your fingers (or, pinch your nose--optional) and just walk away. If you rent (or God-forbid, buy) this film, it WIll suck the brain cells right out of your head.