Barbarian Queen (1985)

People are voting emotionally.

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

My discovery of B movie Barbarian Queen has to do with it is part of a four film collection of Roger Corman produced 80's sword and sorcery films. Why Deathstalker 3 and 4 are not included and this movie and The Warrior And The Sorceress are included instead is unknown. This film in question, Barbarian Queen is my least favorite of the four films and the one out of the four that does not have any fantasy elements. To be fair, it is more of an ancient world action picture and a true endurance test for me to get through beginning to end without falling asleep. Former Playboy model Lana Clarkson does look good here and so does the rest of the female cast. While this film does deliver the goods for maximum boobage, it is pretty much all it has going for it. Our story is set in Roman times, but the film does little to make it period correct or Roman. Lana Clarkson and friends unite to fight the evil empire, but mostly must avoid rape(and attempted rape) by fighting real stupid and horny men. Do not get me wrong, the Deathstalker films are totally ridiculous as well, but they pull off being entertaining where Barbarian Queen fails miserably at. Lana Clarkson appears in the first Deathstalker film to boot and has less screen time, but is much more memorable than she is here. I have no problem with women kicking ass, but this film is poor and I would have found my time better spent rewatching Red Sonja or episodes of Xena Warrior Princess.

Barbarian Queen is one of the cycle of sword and sandal flicks that were popular in the mid 80's. Back then the formula seemed to incorporate lots of sword fights and lots of semi naked girls. This flick certainly adheres to this principle that's for sure, especially the bit about the naked girls. In fact I guess if you were inclined towards political correctness you could label Barbarian Queen as a film that is a little bit sexist. But I myself am quite partial to salacious genre movies and I lapped this one up quite a bit. The story really isn't too important but suffice to say it features a group of Amazonian type women on a quest to get vengeance on a tribe of incredibly misogynistic men who opened up the movie by raping and murdering their people.There's lots of sex and violence in this one. And for what it's worth, the breast count appeared to be astronomical as well. It's certainly a movie that delivers on its promise and that is certainly not a bad thing. Lana Clarkson plays the titular heroine with some gusto. She's pretty good in the action scenes as well as the nude ones. Of the latter there is a somewhat erotic scene where she is tied up in a torture chamber. Somewhat notably, she escapes from this seemingly doomed situation by defeating her jailer by way of a rather extreme application of the Cleopatra Grip (I'll let you look that one up!). You have to give a film marks for originality for the likes of this, that's for sure.Barbarian Queen has a story and action that is by-the-numbers really but it gains points for gratuitous excess. They don't really seem to make them like this anymore and that is a bit of a shame.

I had a theory about movies. For every two minutes of Bad movie you need one minute of Nudity to make it watchable. This movie puts that theory to the test, and disproves it with a glorious vigor.I think most every female in this movie was topless for the majority of it. The story is milk toast, but what I found the most absurd is just how bad the acting was. I mean it was Tommy Wiseau bad. In fact the nudity and acting are so bad there's almost a shamelessness about it. As though it's proud of how bad it is. And for that I would actually recommend it for anyone who wants to see a lot of breasts in a low budget Connan rip off.For those who are feeling daring I offer the barbarian Queen Drinking game. This requires two teams, Team One is team acting and Team two is Team Boobs. For ever poorly acted line of dialog, team Acting takes a drink, For every set of boobs you see, team Boobs takes a drink. Please keep an EMT handy and sober as most likely more than one person will almost die of alcohol poisoning. You've been warned

I don't have much to say about this film. I was 13 when it first came out, and I saw it on video in '86. My only reason for watching this film was for the scantily dressed women warriors that were in it, having sex nearly every other scene. The torture chamber was my favorite scene, and the best line in the movie was when the torturer had Lana Clarkson on the rack, and after a brief torture, he decides to "bone" her. His reason, aside from suddenly being horny is "You're making a contribution to science." That line had me in stitches. Remember this line fellas the next time your girlfriend holds out on you!