Jewel of the Gods (1989)

Waste of time

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

Another bizarre entry in the "Gods Must BeCrazy" series. If you are obsessed with all of the Gods movies (1-5, that Zulu one, etc...), then you have to seek this one out and rent it. Otherwise, forget that you were ever here. Ha ha ha. This doesn't have the lovable bushman, but it has a Caucasians male and female character that were in the original movie. Merius Weyers played Andrew Steyn in the original film, and Sandra played Kate Thompson in the original film. Their characters are almost exactly the same in this one. It is available on DVD, but there are rumors that it is out of production (the copies that are out there may be all that are going to be made).

This is certainly one of the strangest movies I have ever seen in my life. I saw it like 2 years ago on a sunday afternoon. Why the station was playing an obscure South African Indian Jones ripoff is a mystery. Well, I'll just say everything I can remember about the film in the hopes that it may help some poor soul who vaguely remembers it.1) - at the start it has some crude Aborigines running up a hill. They find a jewel. I assume it is the jewel of the gods. A crude pink laser shoots out of it. A simpleminded viewer is confused.2) - a comic relief Arab walks through an Australian desert. He is attacked by a snake. The "tough" hero cuts its head off with a boomerang. The snake's head slides down a sand dune and past the Arab's hammin'-it-up face. The tough hero then, without explanation, says "Bloody Gibson Desert!"3) - the hero and the Arab are on a plane. The plane shakes. The Arab asks, "What was that?" The hero replies, "Nothing mate, the engine just fell off," like it happens every day. The thing is, I'm not sure if this is an actual comedy.4) - the hero and the Arab swim from Australia to Africa. I'm not joking. There's some lame joke about sharks. It's at this point I stopped watching. I wish I had continued. The folly of youth.Anyway, that's all I have to comment on. In hindsight it was extremely funny, but any bogstandard South African adventure movie has to rate at most a 1.Call me........ In His Blazer!