Joysticks (1983)

What a beautiful movie!

Boring, long, and too preachy.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

A powerful businessman starts a crusade aimed at shutting down the local video arcade. He's concerned about the effects the arcade is having on his daughter. The arcade's Manager, a nerdy employee, and a slovenly obese gamer will do battle to save their arcade. I remember seeing Joysticks in the 80s and "enjoying" it. I use quotes because I'm not sure I ever found it all that great, just a decent enough time killer. Re-watching last night, the movie doesn't hold up for me. I know that based on a lot of the schlock I watch, you might think a movie like Joysticks would be right up my alley. Unfortunately, it's got a world of problems that keep me from finding much in the way of entertainment. Chief among my issues with the movie is it's actually pretty boring. For a sub-90 minute film, this thing seems to go on and on. The drawn out video game contests, the community hearing scenes, and all the lame attempts at humor that completely miss their mark really put a drag on things. And I found the scene where the nerd and the fat guy end up in the lady's bedroom troubling and disturbing to watch. There's nothing funny at all about the idea of raping a semi-conscious woman. You might have been able to get by with this kind of thing in the more innocent 80s, but by today's standards, it doesn't fly. I generally enjoy Joe Don Baker, but not so much here. It's too obvious he's only in it of the paycheck. Instead, the lone highlight of the film for me is Jim Greenleaf as Dorfus. His fat dude shtick is occasionally laugh-out-loud funny.

In the '80s, the fat guy who is always eating was a staple of low-end comedies like this one. I can only assume that we are supposed to laugh at this: "Look, it's a fat guy! And he's eatin! Har-har!" I guess you have to hand it to the producers of "Joysticks" for adding the additional comedic twist of making their version of this stock character absolutely repulsive. His hair is so greasy it appears wet, his shirt, stretched over his massive gut, is as filthy as a dishrag. He eats cookies covered with tomato sauce.I could not stand to look at this character, and he is in almost every scene.Did I mention this is supposed to be a comedy?The plot: pretty boy runs a video arcade. Evil businessman played by Joe Don Baker, known for classics like "Charley Varrick" and "Walking Tall", wants to shut him down for reasons the movie seems to have forgotten to include. There is also a group of multi-coloured '80s punks, the Vidiots, that the pretty boy wants to kick out: thus the stage is set for not one but two video game tournaments, in which the players use massive joysticks, the knobs so large the players' hands rest upon them like they are crystal balls.There is, of course, also a "nerd" "character", such a stalwart of these movies that there is nothing to say about him except for his being in the movie.This movie really taxed me. There is no tension whatever to be had in watching people play Pac Man, or if there were, the filmmaker certainly has no idea how to show it, so those sequences are merely boring. The rest of the movie disgusted me more than anything else. There's a little nudity, of course, and the movie also supplies perhaps the most repulsive and unconvincing transvestite I have ever seen. The evil businessman has two moronic henchmen - don't they all - and in a movie this bad, someone has to dress up in drag, so it may as well be them.I was really glad it was over, and hopefully I'll forget about it as soon as possible.

Joe Don Baker is out to shut down the video arcade because his Valley girl daughter won't stop hanging out there. It's an '80s teen comedy so you pretty much know what the ceiling is on this. It's lowbrow and childish but harmless and even funny in places. The Dorfus character is the 'funny gross fat guy' that all post-Animal House comedies seemed to have. Jon Gries is in this in an embarrassing early role as King Vidiot. The old school video game stuff is cool and, of course, the female nudity is nice. Some great boobs on display here, for those interested. The strip video scene is a highlight. It's not the best '80s teen sex comedy but it's enjoyable enough. Personally I think it's impossible to completely dislike anything with Corinne Bohrer in it.

Although I was of the right age to have gotten caught up in the video game fever of the early 1980s, somehow this silly, obnoxious, but entertaining film managed to escape my notice (I wasn't as into movies as I am now). What it does best is capturing a fad & era on film; it's very much a snapshot of the time. It's also good natured raunch; there's a lot of very attractive young ladies on hand who do show us the goods. I would agree that there isn't much finer in life than sexy young gals jiggling and shaking while totally getting into the playing of the games. Of course, a youth oriented sex comedy of the time isn't complete without an antagonist, and Joe Don Baker fills that bill admirably. Having also starred for director Greydon Clark in the slasher spoof "Wacko", he's an uptight citizen & businessman named Joseph Rutter, who schemes to shut down a popular video arcade, convinced that it's a den of depravity. Opposing him are the amiable operator of the arcade, Jefferson Bailey (Scott McGinnis) and master video game player Jonathan Andrew McDorfus (Jim Greenleaf), while ultimately assisting him is weirdo King Vidiot (Jonathan Gries), who's already constantly butting heads with Jefferson. And the two who are more of a hindrance than a help are Rutter's two moron nephews, Arnie (John Diehl) and Max (John Voldstad). You get a lot of flash with this one, folks: the colours just leap off the screen. This is exceptionally loud 'n' lively stuff, maybe too much so at times, but in the end the movie's hard not to like, even as subtlety is in short supply. The characters are genuinely entertaining, especially scene stealer Gries. Get a load of Diehl's wardrobe, as well. The pop songs are all catchy, and Clark keeps the movie running smoothly along, with episodes such as dweeb / new arcade employee Eugene Groebe (Leif Green) turning on Rutter's neglected wife. Among the lovely ladies are perky Corinne Bohrer as Rutter's daughter Patsy, Playboy Playmates Kym Malin and Lynda Wiesmeier, and B movie babe Becky LeBeau. All in all, "Joysticks" (which never passes up an opportunity for a sexual joke), is irresistibly cheesy and thoroughly unpretentious stuff. Seven out of 10.