Swamp Women (1956)

Best movie ever!

Absolutely Fantastic

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

For every good movie Roger Corman put out, he did three stinkers in return. This is one of the stinkers. The plot here is absurd but admittedly no less absurd than many successful mainstream movies. It's about an undercover policewoman (Carole Mathews) who helps three female convicts escape from prison, hoping they will lead her to some stolen diamonds. Two of the three convicts are tough broads Beverly Garland and Marie Windsor. The other is blonde cutie Jil Jarmyn. In the first of many eye-rolling moments of stupidity in the movie, this new prisoner (the undercover cop) shows up at the prison and immediately starts trying to talk these girls into breaking out. None of them are suspicious! After the easiest prison break ever, the four women head into the swamp. Soon they meet up with Mannix himself Mike Connors and his clichéd Southern belle girlfriend. She does everything but say "fiddle-dee-dee." The cons have little trouble slapping Mannix around, which is amusing. After a harrowing fight to the death with a rubber alligator, the ladies realize just what a virile hunk of man Mannix is and just have to have him. It's all pretty dumb and easy to mock. There are cat fights and short shorts but little to titillate most exploitation fans. The worst part is that the movie has the look of a public health film. Very cheap. It was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and that's a thing. Obviously it holds some unintentional comic value. The problem is that maybe 10-15% of the movie is good for some laughs but the rest is boring.

Regardless of what anybody else has to say, I thought this movie was much better than what the critics have said about it. Yes, it has its faults. But people should remember that this was a low-budget film made in 1956. As such, it doesn't have the advantage of the modern special effects that are now available and I've certainly seen worse movies that were much more expensive to produce. In that regard, I thought the director (Roger Corman) did an excellent job with what he had. While the acting was slightly below average overall, I thought Marie Windsor played a decent role as "Josie Nardo" who was essentially the leader of the group of escaped female convicts. Likewise, Carole Matthews (Police Lt. Lee Hampton) and Mike Connors (Bob Matthews) played their parts pretty well too. I thought both Beverly Garland (Vera) and Susan Cummings (Marie) were nice-looking but their acting didn't really impress me. On the other hand, Jil Jarmyn (Billie) stood out as the sexiest of the five females (in my opinion) even if her acting was only average. As for some other faults, I thought the women wearing cutoffs in an insect-infested swamp was rather absurd. Another was the scene where the rattlesnake advanced to attack Bob Matthews. In real life the rattlesnake would slither as fast as it could to get away and only attacks a person when it feels cornered and has no choice. But that's Hollywood for you. All things considered though, while some critics might consider it among the "50 worst" films in history, I regard it as more deserving than that. While it's definitely a "B-Movie", I think it was entertaining enough to rate a solid score.

This film practically screams "cheap" from start to finish. The dialog is lousy, the acting amateurish and the music pure "cheese". Although the film cost more than PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE to produce, it probably didn't cost much more! The film opens with some Mardi Gras footage and you are introduced to Mike Connors (TV's "Mannix") and his "dame". Then, abruptly, the footage switches to a women's prison were some more tough dames are discussing some stolen diamonds--unaware that their new bunkmate is a cop in disguise! When these evil dames escape, they make a bee-line for the stolen loot. Too bad for Connors and his hot tomato that they stumble upon these tough broads! What follows is a rather dull boat trip through the bayou punctuated by silly dialog (featuring lots of "cat fighting", frequent use of words such as "dame", "broad" and "loot" as well as frequent whining by Connor's girlfriend) and stock footage that is rather randomly inserted. Well, at least it seemed dull until some of the women noticed that young and studly Connors was too much man to leave alone--and they began slobbering and fighting to get into his pants.All this slobbering is punctuated when the undercover cop falls into the swamp and she can't swim. Connors springs to the rescue and quickly dispatches an alligator with just a pocketknife AND he saves her from drowning---what a guy! Inexplicably, just moments later, the ladies take a break and a couple of them take off their clothes to take a swim--including the one who couldn't swim in the previous scene! Oh, well,...I guess they figured the movie needed a cheesecake scene regardless of whether or not it made any sense.Later, when they find the diamonds the ladies do the most logical thing--have a long and pointless cat fight--complete with everything but jello!! Then, even more stock footage in a long and meaningless montage follows. Then, in the end, the women all turn on each other and by this point, rather inexplicably, the cop and Connors have fallen in love and the film ends with the surviving broads being arrested. Hurrah for justice! This movie made the list of 50 worst films (from Harry Medved's book "The Fifty Worst Films of All Time and How They Got That Way") and whether it should or shouldn't have made this list is debatable. I'd put it on a list of maybe 200 worst films, but either way the movie stinks. As a result, the film is best seen only by bad film lovers (like myself)--not sane or "normal" people.

In this cautionary tale of greed and Roux rinses, three gun molls, one intersexual police decoy and Mike (Touch) Connors go on a boat trip. Desperately hoping to avoid the police in their rite of passage through an existential mobius strip of bayou, the women don hot pants and traffic-cone-orange shirts. In the case of Beverly Garland, also traffic-cone-orange hair. The erotic tension between the women, the intersexual and Mike Connors (and this reviewer) clearly trumps the need for camouflage as the floozies compete with the intersexual for the chance to caress Mike's big, hairy arms. And then slap him upside the head. Which brings me to the problem with this film. Mike gets wet, but Mike never takes off his shirt. Mike Connors with his hands tied behind his back is good. Mike Connors, shirtless and tied up would be better. Roger Corman really missed his chance to ramp up the subtext in this one.If you're watching MST3K, Joel and the bots are a little limp on this one, but the movie is fantastic. The short "What to do on a date" is a bit upsetting as it seems to feature two actors with affective disorders, perhaps Asperger's Syndrome. Tom's disastrous date with Gypsy doesn't fare much better.