Outlaw of Gor (1989)

As Good As It Gets

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

Most simply, these movies are proof that science fiction and fantasy have fallen completely.From Asimov's foresight and Tolkien's epics... devolve this sexually awkward televised game of Dungeons and Dragons?! I am disappointed with the genre because of this film.No plot, annoyingly hollow characters that never develop, horrible actors, and a poor concept from the beginning make this movie (and it's twin) worthless. Quite literally, Mother Goose's simplest tale has miles more to say about the world. While such a feat used to be hard for this genre, now it seems 9 year olds get novels published, and screenplays filmed.It gets a second star simply for being so easy to heckle. The Mystery Science Theater 3000 version is more enjoyable, and illustrates my point beautifully. However, this episode is a little wasted if you don't watch with friends and heckle along too.

Outlaw's plot comes straight out of the Sword and Sorcerer Handbook – an evil queen kills her husband and blames it on the innocent hero, Tarl Cabot (Urbano Barberini), so she might take control of the thrown. Cabot spends the rest of the movie trying to clear his name, undo the queen's evils, and return to his true love.Overall, Outlaw is one of the poorer examples of the Conan "inspired" rip-off I've seen recently. While the movie has a number of weaknesses, the most glaring is Barberini in the lead role. He makes for one of the most nondescript, unexciting heroes I've seen. He's completely unconvincing. And what's the point in announcing quite proudly in the movie that our hero is a vegetarian? Was Outlaw funded by PETA? What's the point in adding that to the movie? It takes what is an otherwise namby-pamby hero and makes him even more so. Between the emasculated Tarl Cabot, scene after scene of a midget's hinder, an annoying side-kick named Watney, and an embarrassed looking Jack Palance wearing one of the goofiest looking hats imaginable, you've got the recipe for one bad movie.Yet I haven't rated Outlaw as low as I could have. Why? Well, I have a weakness for this kind of movie. I tend to enjoy most sword and sorcerer type movies, even the bad ones. That, plus some of the outfits worn by Donna Denton, seems to be enough to warrant a point or two.

My theory: The producers of this film first made the movie "Gor". It only took them four days. Then someone noticed that they still had three days left on their equipment rentals, so they decided to film a second movie. Someone put together a script while on a potty break. They used the same sets, the same props, and much the same cast. The end result was "Outlaw of Gor".Jack Palance must have been hard-up for money to do this. It ranks up there with the biggest wastes of talent in movie history, right next to Max von Sydow in "Strange Brew" and Sir Lawrence Olivier in "Clash of the Titans".

outlaw of gor. the title says it all. a few comments before we begin: its a sequel, and far more exotic and watchable than its predecessor, useless comparisons to the story on which it was based will not be entertained here. second, mst 3k is not outlaw of gor. finally, whoever caught the midget butt thing was right on. this is typical example of a moment caught on this awkward film that makes me wonder, what, exactly, are we supposed to be thinking about this? we also see urbinos ass in the same shot. true, all of this is as appealing as awful watney smith getting massaged or the queen yelling "guards!" even once, though she does it about six thousand times in the movie...anyhow, you get the idea that the viewer is left to wonder what the filmmakers were thinking. its really baffling. jack palance is amazing. i assume he was taking his annual holiday in Italy when he got picked up for this one. his performance as Zeno is almost as good as the hip-hop/wizard costume he wears. any movie where palance wears fat gold chains and speaks in monosyllables is worth something. a half-smile is detectable on his face throughout his performance. the hardest part of the film is how unevenly its paced. this is typical for adventure films, to proceed in chapters, but nothing really apologizes for this. one more thing, in the first five minutes you will hear the name Cabot repeated about six hundred times. also, the set for the castle sort of looks like a terry Jones fantasy movie i saw once but forgot the title. one may also be confused by a scene which was choreographed in the manner of a high school dance class, with the added dimension of exploitation, achieved by a nodding palance and bouncing small man. the upper part of the frame here was masked off not very successfully in post production, or maybe during a set shot. you'll see what i mean. it sort of looks like the concert scene in the blues brothers where the crowd and the stage are pastiched together. naturally, gor doesn't achieve any describable effect. this film is very annoying at times and at others, downright mystifying. i would suggest this movie only to those who prefer a strange film and have a high tolerance for poor film-making. for those of you brave enough, i would say go out and see it right away.