Savage Beach (1989)

Must See Movie...

Good concept, poorly executed.

Better Late Then Never

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Savage Beach is hardly a great departure for director Andy Sidaris, yet another cheezy adventure featuring his stock-in-trade heavily armed, big breasted babes, heroic hunks and despicable bad guys; but although it's still a long way from a work of art, this is perhaps the most enjoyable out of the Sidaris films I've seen so far thanks to a story-line in which a more straightforward adventure takes precedence over the series' usual convoluted espionage nonsense.The plot sees Taryn and Donna (Hope Marie Carlton and Dona Speir), Molokai's sexiest cargo pilot/drug enforcement agents, take a break from fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains to deliver some desperately needed medical supplies to a remote island hospital. On their way home from the drop, the girls run into a violent storm and wind up crashing on a supposedly uninhabited island where they do some naked swimming, construct a hut out of palm leaves, encounter an aged WWII Japanese soldier (sporting the world's worst old-age make-up), and somehow still wind up fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains who just happen to be on the island searching for a horde of gold.In addition to endless shots of the super-buff Carlton and Speir parading around in tight white vests, oh-so-short-shorts and cowboy boots (even when engaging in bouts of unconvincing combat), Savage Beach also offers several other well-endowed babes who are equally obliging when it comes to showing us their wares, a fair few squibtastic bullet hits, some fun kung fu fight scenes, the occasional spot of nookie, plus cult actor Al Leong who, as one of the main goons, shows why he rarely gets given speaking parts.I rate this trashy nonsense a reasonable 5.5 out of 10—my highest score yet for a Sidaris film—but it's still not good enough for me to warrant rounding it up to 6. Maybe next time, Andy... maybe next time.

Once again writer/director Andy Sidaris delivers his patented hugely entertaining mix of plentiful yummy gratuitous female nudity, bloody violence, extremely variable acting, big splashy explosions, and rough'n'tumble martial arts fights in this fun tale of federal agents Donna (buxom blonde fox Dona Speir) and Taryn (adorable sprite Hope Marie Carlton), who find themselves trapped on a remote tropical island with a hidden gold treasure on it that's guarded by a mysterious Japanese warrior (well played by Michael Mikasa in cruddy old age make-up). Naturally, a band of vicious no-count villains arrive on the island in search of the gold. Speir and Carlton display a winningly easy'n'breezy natural screen chemistry and, not surprisingly, look spectacular both in and out of their skimpy outfits (a skinny-dipping scene featuring these lovely ladies enjoying a merry frolic in the ocean rates as the definite highlight here). Moreover, Sidaris shows some genuine filmmaking skill with an impressive dramatic flashback sequence towards the end and keeps the plot moving along at a constant snappy pace. John Aprea contributes a solid turn as dashing no-nonsense Captain Andrews, Bruce Penhall makes for a likable male lead as the amiable major Bruce Christian, Rodrigo Obregon snarls it up effectively as the nefarious Martinez, and smoldering brunette porn starlet Teri Weigel steams up the screen with her sultry portrayal of Martinez's enticing moll Angelica. Ubiquitous 80's Fu Mancho dude Al Leong pops up playing one of his trademark nasty baddies, sports a ponytail, and even has a sizable amount of dialogue. Howard Wexler's bright cinematography gives the picture a glimmering sunny look. Gary Stockdale's funky score hits the bumping spot. An enjoyable outing.

"Savage Beach" has the most unusual story of the Lethal Ladies series. Instead of an over-equipped investigation with a plan, this is more like an accidental adventure. No Las Vegas night clubs or expensive sports-cars - "Savage Beach" plays on a lonely island where a gold treasure was lost in WW II, yet still guarded by an isolated Japanese soldier. Not a new story (I remember "Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure", 1981), but with Sidaris' attention grabbing techniques (from explosions to boobs) it works great. Our heroines, the two pilots Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (H.M. Carlton), make an emergency landing on that island after a storm (another rarity: bad weather in a Sidaris movie). More and more sinister characters arrive to make the island unsafe. Al Leong (who later played the helicopter pilot in "Hard Hunted") gets a good role as a tough bad guy. A situation that stuck to my mind is when the Leatherface samurai frees Taryn and explains later: "I can't kill those eyes again" - what a moment of poetry, folks! Oh, and would you believe a bloke who calls Donna "bimbo" survives the next few seconds? This is the 4th out of 12 Sidaris movies I reviewed (in chronological order), and one should note that after 3 successful pictures which he had financed basically from his personal money, Sidaris was offered a deal about 5 more which kept the Lethal Ladies series going. "Savage Beach" surely was an impressive start for this new... uh... pentalogy!

In 1989 the gals in this picture looked fantastic, and their outfits were out of this world. Dona Speir,(Donna),"Fit to Kill",'93, played a very hot looking gal who showed plenty of her flesh and especially her cleavage. Hope Marie,(Taryn),"Nactropolis",94, worked together with Donna and also showed a great deal of her body parts. These two gals wind up in forgotten Hawaiian isles where WW II was fought with the Japs and there still remained a single person who was still fighting the world and had regrets over having killed American's during the war. Donna and Hope are faced with all kinds of men in the jungle, and fighting hand to hand combat with big and small men who are drawn to these women like a magnet. The acting was horrible, and if it was not for the two women in this picture, my vote would have been ZERO !