The Bates Haunting (2012)

Wonderful Movie

So much average

Best movie ever!

The acting in this movie is really good.

...has already spoken for me. BUT I do have to note that the director didn't shake the camera to death and that allows the audience to absorb the set, acting and plot--something that is missing in modern movie director's education. Hitchcock shook the set when it was called for, not the camera. The audience looks the actors in their eyes just like in real life. It's hard to do when the camera won't stop being so orgasmic. This is a high compliment for such a bad production. Better luck with experience. Would someone tell me how many lines past "ten" will the guideline finally consider allowing this post to proceed? So, moving on. The (hotty) newscaster was the best actress of the lot. She should have starred.

"The Bates Haunting" is a stereotypical Direct-to-DVD feature that you would most likely see at your local RedBox and would probably ask yourself who would actually rent this before you pick up the latest new release.While the story takes place at a real Halloween attraction called The Bates Motel & Haunted Hayride, you can't help but feel like this film is something that is riding a more popular and iconic horror film and comes off like something SyFy would have produced. Beside that, the film contains very bad and lackluster acting, the story is boring and predictable, the gore effects are about as convincing as a roadside haunted house attraction, it has no cohesive tone and absolutely no atmosphere, you have to deal with two stars of "Jackass" being shoe-horned into the film, it tries and fails to be funny way too many times, and the main character is very unlikable.The film does have a solid performance from Zachary Fletcher but, even then, he eventually follows suit and ends up as bad as the rest of the cast. Overall, the film comes off like a cliché low budget horror film and is just completely forgettable in almost every single way.

Actually... it's more like 'Welcome to amateur hour (and twenty minutes).' This, incidentally, is about an hour and twenty minutes more than you'll probably feel is worth spending with this film.'The Haunting of Bates Hotel' has no actors that you've probably heard of. Yes, I know, many a great film has been made without stars. Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt alone doesn't guarantee a film's success. However, this one doesn't just not have stars; it also doesn't have actors. Seriously... these people's LACK of acting talent is almost amazing. I know it's a horror movie and so I wasn't expecting Oscar-worthy performances, but this is going to extremes. I really can't let the bad acting lie... it was like they just let anyone on set and allowed them to say the lines how they liked.The film is about a *supposedly* haunted house on some farmland in small-town America. Only it's not haunted and everyone knows that. The owners just put on some horror-themed events to bring in the money. However, a year after some girl gets horribly burned to death by 'accident,' more killings start to emerge.It's not all bad (most, but not all). The setting itself is quite a nice place for a slasher movie, i.e. a place where there are already *deliberately* plenty of gory props to confuse and startle the hapless victims. And there are some nice homages to existing horror icons, i.e. Freddy Krueger's jumper etc.But, the odd brief glimpse of Jason Vorhees' head-sack isn't enough to save this catastrophe of a film. It tries to be really funny. It fails. It falls flat on every attempt at humour and just comes across as cringe-worthy. Plus the gore isn't that good (yes, I know it's a cheap film, but I've seen student zombie films with better effects than this one) and, despite trying to be really post modern and self-knowing, it falls into every horror cliché going, i.e. 'have sex and die.' One word: avoid. If you've ever seen a horror film then it was better than this one. If, by some miracle you haven't ever seen a horror movie... then don't start with this one. If fact, just make your own horror flick with the video camera ap on your smartphone – guaranteed it'll be better than this!

A year after her best friend Lilly was roasted in a freak accident at The Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride, Agnes reluctantly takes a job at the yearly Halloween attraction's concession stand. But before the park even opens, the bodies begin to pile up, so Agnes seeks to find a connection to Lilly's death and the new string of murders.I went into "The Bates Haunting" knowing virtually nothing about it, expecting the absolute worst... and was pleasantly surprised by it. Don't get me wrong, this is unquestionably direct-to-video fare (bad acting and shoestring effects galore) but there's a slick look, a few decent performances (leading lady O'Sullivan ain't bad and Fletcher devours the scenery as semi-retarded redneck Junior Bates), lots of funny moments and one-liners, a little T&A, some gore (though there's an annoyingly high ratio of old-school cutaways in lieu of practical/CGI effects) and a nice twist (not unpredictable but unexpected). Casual moviegoers will doubtlessly hate it, but the film's quirky enough that it could develop a small cult following.If you're seeking a big connection to the Universal-owned Norman Bates "Psycho" franchise (as the cover suggests), you'll be utterly disappointed... though there's more than a couple references to Norman/Mother and the basic plot is the same as Robert Bloch's novel "Psycho House" (murders occur at the opening of a Bates Motel theme park attraction). It's really a shame that they didn't utilize that book's story - it would've made a much better movie. "Jackass" fans will also be disappointed by the blink-and-you-missed-it appearance of Bam Margera (in a real commercial for the park?) and a mildly amusing but only slightly longer scene with the late Ryan Dunn as an annoyed customer in an empty pizza place.In the end, "The Bates Haunting" is a thinly-veiled commercial for the Pennsylvania tourist attraction (presumably starring local actors) which features shockingly little of the park, but if you're in a frame of mind to enjoy an innocuous low-budget horror-comedy, there are certainly much worse ways to waste 75 minutes of your life.