Space Marines (1996)

Very disappointing...

Must See Movie...

As Good As It Gets

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

I don' know what movie you guys were watching, or alternately how to characterize the parallel branch of the Great Tree on which this trash comes out looking entertaining. You l i k e d the guy channeling a third-rate panto artiste doing his Captain Hook? If a ticking crocodile had emerged from subspace and taken a bite out of him - hey, let's be fair - out of everyone involved in this tax-scam fiasco - t h a t might have been entertaining. A little bit of Aliens (rendered in high-impact chipboard), a little bit of every maverick-takes-on-stiffnecked-brasshat -but-they-end-up-pals movie, a bunch of no-hope has-beens (rendered in high-impact chipboard). Hey, what's not to like - once the Lithium's kicked in

How do you tell someone what a film "tastes" like? Well, wine-lovers, instead of giving you a list of ingredients, amply covered in other commentaries by those who are better than I at such things, . I'll simply try and describe the taste.I LOVED this film. I loved it because though it has enough schlock and splatter to have it rated an "18," it is nevertheless a film for young kids: kids who can't legally watch it. Not a recipe for box-office success, unfortunately. It IS great fun for adults who enjoy camp, over-acted larger than life drama as humour.In terms of taking itself seriously, this film sits just this side - but right on the line - of parody. Think of the A Team with a Thunderbirds plot played by Peter Pan pantomime characters with the look and feel of Unreal Tournament and you've got it summed up. Bluto, playing Pugwash, auditions for the part of a villain in Power Rangers.Any more to it than that?Not really. Not necessary in a film aimed at six year-olds. It's got: Bad guys who declare themselves to be Evil. Good guys who see the only way forward as gung-ho heroism. Diplomats who haven't got the common-sense of the heroes and basically get in the way. I'll contrast this with the diplomats and politicians in Battlestar Galactica who also keep thwarting the common-sense heroics of the good-guy military, but whereas in Battlestar, the diplomats are irredeemably stupid, weak and corrupt and keep getting in the way of the 100% right xenophobic all-action solution, here they vacillate with reasonable and clearly understandable cause and show an understanding, a view of the big picture which seems to escape the military mind. This gives the screenplay the only grown-up element and pretence at purpose. But it's only a pretence, and a McGuffin to bring in a Girl. The screenplay and this plot component has a token effort at making the hero(s) try very hard to be complex, but it doesn't come off.Hell, this film don't need no mamby-pamby plot or gratuitous human interest 'cuz it's got action.Lots of action; even more posturing. The Space Marines meet, er, Space Pirates.You'd know they were pirates even if their flag and (ahem!) pirate-flag insignia attached to their uniforms and props didn't spell it out for you. My favourite was the Evil Surgeon's white coat carrying its proud badge of the obsessively organised evil bunch. Just like it would be. Just like all the bad guys wear black hats, but this film hasn't got cowboys. If it did, their black hats would sit atop unshaven scowls and the white hats would keep the sun out of the eyes of ruggedly-handsome heroes wearing freshly-pressed shirts and ironed 'kerchiefs. Nooo, this film's got Pirates. They've all got costumes from the local futuristic fancy dress hire shop's "Pirate" rail and it's only the lack of wooden ships and a token attempt to keep it ostensibly "this" side of parody that eliminates the "Shiver me timbers, me hearties!!" and the random shouting of "Oooh Ahrrr, Jim lad!"Toned down a bit, and with a few dollars more, this could have been Starsip Troopers. the merest micron further over the top would turn it into Doctor Phibes meets Flash Gordon.The question is, would you then want to watch a film like this just for the sheer entertainment of it? It all depends on who you are. When I was a kid and watched the original Adam West Batman,, I didn't quite "get" it. The irony escaped me. I had to develop a slightly more mature outlook to appreciate the humour fully, and I suspect that many people might be a little too literal in their perspective to enjoy this truly amazing film.WE all know that spaceships don't "Woosh!" through outer space and that there is no sense at all in marking the go-faster widget in a space Viper cockpit "Turbo" or the in the huge amount of lip-gloss necessary to keep Earth's defences running through Buck Rogers' series, but we can still suspend disbelief enough to enjoy the stories and the action. In SM, grenades, bombs and standard military weaponry kill as cleanly as in any made-for- television film or pre Spaghetti Western Hollywood. The schlock is all sort of bolted on to show just how Bad the bad guys are and how "serious" things really are.Well, if you aren't too worried about a message, future "historical" or logical accuracy and you enjoyed Team America, Adam West's Batman and Plan 9 from Outer Space, you WILL enjoy this.

I just have to say that I thought this movie was awesome. You can't rent this movie and expect it to Academy Award caliber, you have to take for what it is; a fun, cool movie. To me, the thing that really made the movie was John Pyper-Ferguson's portrayal as Colonel Fraser. He was awesome, one of the coolest characters I've seen in awhile. If nothing else, I think everyone should see this movie just to see his performance.

To me it is a great mystery that movies such as Space Marinies actually get made. The plot is ridiculous and predictable, the acting one big joke. The only thing preventing me to rate this movie a plain zero is the unability to do so.