The House of Secrets (1936)

Truly the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

1936's "The House of Secrets" has an interesting story and excellent cast, but unwinds in maddening fashion. Liverpool-born Leslie Fenton ("The Public Enemy") stars as an American in England, who finds his own inherited mansion already occupied by strangers armed with guns. Occasionally we hear wild screams, and there's rumored to be buried treasure, livened up by strong performers such as Sidney Blackmer, Morgan Wallace, Holmes Herbert, and perennial gangster Noel Madison. Love interest is supplied by the comely Muriel Evans, whose career in features never surpassed her extensive career in Hal Roach comedy shorts, working with Laurel and Hardy, Grady Sutton, and especially Charlie Chase (retiring by 1940, she died in 2000). Leslie Fenton had four more acting roles ahead, switching to directing in 1938, piling up an impressive total of 20 features by 1951 (he died in 1978). This was virtually the last gasp for Chesterfield Pictures, an independent outfit responsible for over 100 features over its 11 year lifespan.

The House of Secrets starts with an intriguing shipboard encounter: Leslie Fenton (as Barry) assists Muriel Evans (Julie) escape the unwanted attentions of a stranger. She thanks him nicely—but when he attempts to take a look in her handbag for whatever it was the stranger was after, she—get this—throws the whole bag overboard rather than let him see its contents! Hmm, mysterious.Not surprisingly, they soon meet again (in a major but not shocking coincidence, she happens to be living at the large estate he has just inherited), and she becomes one of numerous characters determinedly resisting Barry's attempts not only to enter his own property, but to find out what the heck is going on. These characters include practically everyone else in the story—his detective friend, Julie's scientist father, some police and government officials, and a gang of crooks after a hidden treasure.The plot is fast-moving and fairly intricate, and the dialog is mostly sharp. However, as the story progresses, frustration builds—not only for Barry but for us viewers, who also have no idea why everyone is trying so hard to keep him in the dark. By late in the film, my own sympathies had shifted almost entirely over to the gang of crooks, because at least they were straightforward about what they wanted, which is something you can't say about any of the other characters.The movie also features an ancient document written in "old English," which means it has some words like "ye" and "olde" in it, that is fun for the gangsters to try and sound out. And an inn landlady offers some entertaining colloquial dialog, like her criticism of her husband's aches and pains: "He calls it rheumatism, but I calls it arthritis. I likes to keep up to date." Nothing is particularly authentic, but hey, I point that out in fun, not as a real quibble with the film. Overall, the dialog is one of this film's quite interesting qualities.Overall: well done—but maddening.

"House of Secrets" is a B-movie--a film with a very limited budget and minor actors that was meant as a second, 'lesser', film on a double-bill. Most Bs are a few notches below A-pictures in quality, but there are also quite a few that are nifty entertainment. Well, unfortunately, this is NOT one of those nifty pieces of entertainment! While the film is pleasant enough viewing, those who have seen a lot of Bs and mystery films will recognize practically every cliché from the genre in this one film! Plus, on top of this, the plot is so very contrived that you can't help but giggle now and then--even though this is supposed to be a drama!! The film begins with a woman being bothered by a man on a boat crossing the English Channel. He recognizes her from some sort of compromising situation and tries to force himself on her. At that moment, the hero of the story sees this and intervenes--slugging the filthy blighter. Good show, old man! Pip-pip and all that rot! Then, the hero announces that he now loves this woman--a woman he met only 20 seconds before--making you assume he's had a massive head trauma. Then, after arriving in England, his path just happens to cross hers again and again when he inherits some property. There's of course more to it than this--but not much! With silly script ideas like love at first sight and the like, you simply are left with the impression the film was either written by some 11 year-olds or the film makers were idiots. Either way, it doesn't look very good and is a pretty silly little film.

The wise-cracking Leslie Fenton (as "Barry") sounds quite a bit like James Cagney in his gangster days. The lovely Muriel Evans (as "Julie") looks quite a bit like Jean Harlow. The movie is not a true "Old Dark House" movie, because it doesn't have some of the elements required to qualify, but there is an old dark house, a hidden treasure, & lots of mystery. "House of Secrets" is interesting, the dialog is snappy with lots of current day (copyright 1936) slang, the acting is good, the sets are dark & spooky, & there are a few neat sub-plots (one involving Chicago mobsters). What drags this movie down a bit is the redundancy. I couldn't count the number of times Barry asks "What's going on?" & Julie (among many others) replies "I can't tell you." Although I was eventually able to guess the ending, it was difficult to figure out, & fun meanwhile. I rate it 6/10.