Alien 51 (2004)

Pretty Good

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

I made the mistake of devoting some minutes I'll never live again to this garbage of a movie. I can't say bad enough things about it. The people who funded (which means they evidently rented a video camera and then attached it to the back of a wild animal, based on the tracking and POV shots) this travesty should be banned from ever making another film. Like Tom Hanks and "Bachelor Party," this is one you'll never see on an actor/actress' resume'. I enjoy bad movies, but even I can't recommend this, on ANY level: It's not campy, it's not witty, it's not even remotely entertaining. Skip over it if you see it on Starz (as I did), and don't spend your hard-earned money/time on it, either. I'm just trying to save you the trouble and pain.

I don't know who to blame for this dead piece of independent film. The acting did not match what was occurring. The camera operators must have been on break the entire time. Half the time the scenes jumped with no apparent reason. The sub-characters IQ's matched their shoe size. The director must not have even been on set the whole time. The story in general wasn't even original. And the flaws with the settings were unbearable. Even the parts were skin was shown couldn't off set the rest of the thing. I wouldn't add this garbage to my collection if they were passing it out for free. I have seen kinder-garden plays with better talent. I watched it out of shear curiosity. It was just an awful film. There is no way possible to enjoy this film. Avoid it at all costs.

i'm tired of people who know nothing about film making trashing low budget films and the hard working artists trying to make a living. fact. executive producers decide what the film is going to be. they hire starving artists who have no choice but to sell a slice of their soul for a few bucks and a credit. fact. executives so severely tie the hands of film makers that often times it is a miracle that the film gets completed at all. do you really think the people who made alien 51 had a say in a lot of the creative process? you think they don't vomit hearing the music the executives provided? it kills them. SAG is the other great evil. their fees are so over the top that most low budget productions have to seriously compromise their potential by hiring less than qualified actors. for what it is Alien 51 is a solid no budget flick. so if you want to attack someone, attack the exec. producers and SAG. and please do it elsewhere. leave the true artists alone.

this was probably one of the worst movies i've ever seen. i don't think anyone cared the least little bit about what was being shot, said, or committed to film except maybe the DoP and he seemed to be napping in places. i don't remember ever having seen a movie as unenlightened in the cinematic procedures as this. there is no obvious talent demonstrated at any time or at any point in the film. the acting was as if these people were lobotomized and then just set loose within a certain boundary with a general idea of what they were supposed to be doing. you could almost hear the director in the background (if only in your mind) saying, "just wing it!" this was not entertaining, not amusing, not enjoyable. it left me with the feeling that i was dumber for having watched it. why bother rating it. to rate it would be to insult real movies.