13 Dead Men (2003)

Waste of time

Best movie ever!

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

Lorenzo Lamas is a great actor. A poor man's Seagal, he brings a six pack and great hair to every role he plays. 13 Dead Men is no exception, as him and his team of diamond thieves are in charge of breaking a guilty, but not that guilty, man out of prison and into our hearts. But seriously, this is a real stinker. I was wondering why this needed to be made, but then realized that Van Damme was cast in Expendables 2. This creates a disparity in the world of action stars, as Lamas might now be the only one to not grace the screen in the Stallone epics we have all come to love and cherish. Enter 13 Dead Men, the perfect vehicle to show how Lamas can still get down, Kung-fu style. Oh yeah, and Mystikal is in this too.

One of the worst films I have seen. It's slow, the director seems to think that making a movie with lots of fight sequences and a rap soundtrack is all it takes. It's not as if the fights are realistic.It's like watching 3 year old kids play fighting.The actors can't act. The dialogue is pathetic and every minute or so we end up with another play fight and backing music.The idea was good but totally wasted in this movie. There are so many decent films out there and life's too short for this sort of rubbish.Don't waste your time. I wish I hadn't.

I absolutely cannot understand why this movie was as bad as it was. The writer, director, producer, fight coordinator, actors, and anyone else working on this abomination must've been so excited about making a "real" movie, and not a porno that they did not notice the massive suckage that it is. Mystikal is the worst actor in this movie. Crucial scenes that are supposed to develop his character, only work to make him look like a retard. Not once did he ever interact with the others, he just read his lines and cursed a lot. Next was the massive amount of scenes that didn't make sense.1.The Cornbread Scene(what was the purpose!?!!?) 2.During the jailbreak where the Santos(Lorenzo Lamas) breaks out the crazy looking white guy, just because he asked...then that same guy goes on to fight one of Santos' teamates(the big black guy)...why!?!? 3.The "Evil" warden's whore/girlfriend..what is up with their relationship..it looked like for a while that an interesting subplot was going to develop....nope..more confusion.A badly written film, with almost no character development, no background information(you feel like you jump right into the middle of movie), and no rising action(just constant conflict..much of which has nothing to do with the central plot.) I can honestly say that this is the worst movie i've ever seen..and the funniest...CORNBREAD....!!!

Well, I've got no problem with the script, since it's a normal 'good guy in jail' script. But I didn't like something else. Everything! Directed and performed in the worst way it could ever be! The movie has a cheap-porno atmosphere in witch the actors (may God help them become that) perform in a totally unnatural way. Awful! Some actors can be saved though, especially if you think that they had to act in this thing. Resuming : Cheap porno-movie atmosphere, awful acting and directing, lots of violence and dirty talk, cheap chicks and guns. I loved it!