Legion of the Dead (2013)

An Exercise In Nonsense

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

A cursed Egyptian tomb is discovered in California which I didn't grasp either. Like Jason, the mummy is reanimated during a thunderstorm. The naked mummy (Claudia Lynx) kills people and is in cahoots with the guy in the Indiana Jones hat to take over the world. Only Molly (Courtney Clonch) a grad student and her near boyfriend can save the world.This is an Asylum film that came out about the same time as "Land of the Dead" and was banking on the confusion of title. The plot is mixed up like most Asylum films and acting is secondary. The biggest draw of the production is Iranian born model Claudia Lynx,considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, gets naked. Feel free to fast forward and pause, it's not VHS.Guide: F-word. Nudity.

My summary sums up my opinion. Let's begin with Bram Stoker's Jewel of the Seven Stars about a resurrected evil female mummy. A novel that has been filmed several times first in the 1960's as a TV movie,then in 1970 as Blood on the Mummy's Tomb,then in 1980 as The Awakening,then in 1986 as the Tomb and then again in 1999 as Bram Stoker's The Mummy. Then you have Anne Rice's Mummy/Vampire Akasha from the novels Queen of the Damned and Vampire Lestat filmed in 2002 with the late singer Aaliyah in the title role. Next three influences: George A. Romero in this movie you get mummies tearing out spines not flesh eating zombies. Universal Mummy films of the 1940's the sets in this movie even though the locale is about an Egyptian tomb found in California(?) are almost as good as some of the Egyptian sets in the Mummy movies of the 1940's and the film had some thrills and chills. Explorer Thor Heyerdahl who wrote the books Kon-tiki, Island Civilizations of Polynesia in 1970 with his Ra II sea vessel made of papyrus reeds like Ancient Egyptian vessels could have reached the American hemisphere in Ancient times. The idea of the Egyptian traders and a banned from Egypt evil Priestess living and dying in ancient but primitive and barbaric California could something like that have happened? Archaeologists for the past century and a half have found Egyptian artifacts hieroglyphics and statues in strange places such as Ancient Native North and Ancient Central American excavation sites as well as Australia. Pyramids have been found in places other than Egypt and Central America-Italy,the Canary Islands and believe it or not Japan. The Pharoahs had seaworthy explorers and they had a lot of help from a maritime people known as the Phoenicians who came from the Lebanon area of the Middle East. Years ago they found traces of cocaine and tobacco plants whose origins are in the North and South American continents in the stomach of an Egyptian Mummy. Another fact most continental Asians did not have hooked or Roman noses something a lot of Aztecs,Mayas and Incas did have and some of their descendants still do have if you look at the codexes and read the Spanish explorers descriptions of the physical appearances of the so-called aboriginal peoples of parts of the United States,Central and South America. Sorry to report that it sounds like some other explorers other than the Norse,Spanish,Swedish,Dutch,French and English intermixed quite frequently with the so-called Ancient Asian origin Native peoples of North,Central and South America and the nearby islands of the Caribbean. Chieftains would give away some of their women as brides or mistresses to explorers and traders. Sex knows no color when men have been denied heterosexual sex for long periods of time. Now back to the movie both the heroines and the priestess mummy villainess did well in their roles. I think the villainess was well cast she looked like she could be a real Egyptian. If I were going to cast a movie about Ancient Egypt she would definitely be in it. The Egyptians racial origins go back to two racial groups East African Black and Southern Arabian Semitic. To do an accurate movie on Egypt choose East Africans and people of Middle Eastern descent because even in Ancient times caucasoid Europeans even if they were Greek or Roman were considered a minority even though both groups had conquered Ancient Egypt during Alexander the Great and Augustus Octavian Caesar. The acting in the movie was camp for sure but it was worth watching. I wish the writer would have left had the George Romero influence.

LEGION OF THE DEAD www.theasylum.cc with Bruce Boxleitner and Zach Galligan Written & Directed by Paul Bales…Having interviewed Paul Bales and seen this is on Theasylum Top Three DVD sellers, This critic was curious about LOTD !When you watch the "Making Of.." it gives away some of the secrets to how production came together, Theasylum has the second best BEHIND THE SCENES after Charles Band's FULL MOON . The cast is great ,Of course Boxleitner and Galligan one expect their best, But the lead villain is a Female Mummy- Claudia Lynx and she is perfect. Rhett Giles again turns in a journeyman effort, Except as a right arm to mummy henchman.Once you accept this is happening in US, Not Egypt then you enjoy all the mummies running around and unusual deaths.Paul Bales (look for our interview) is still writing and producing, But could direct again.

I figured this was gonna be a total waste of my money. After 'Bleed,' any low-budget horror film makes me cringe. But I found myself ACTUALLY watching this & wondering what was going to happen. The acting was the best part. Everyone did a fine job w/their characters. I was partial to the character Molly for 2 reasons. One: same name. Second, I know Courtney Clonch. We worked on a couple of plays together in the late 90s back in the Quad Cities (if you're reading this--Hi Courtney!). She was the reason I rented the film in the first place. It turns out it was worth the money. I'm not going to reveal much about it, but if you're looking for a low-budget, B/B+ film to scare yourself or your friends this Halloween, give this one a try. Who knows? You may see Clonch as a superstar one day. Wouldn't it be nice to know her early work?