The Being (1983)

Powerful

Good concept, poorly executed.

Best movie ever!

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Well, I guess every horror lover must have their guilty pleasures and this is definitely one of mine. The moment I saw the cheesy, generic title grinning out at me from a dirty old video cassette in the dirty, old video shack where I rented most of my stuff from, I fell in love with this film. From the hilariously solemn voice-over narration at the film's opening to the tongue-in-cheek epilogue dialogue at the film's close (proclaming each surviving character's future fate), I enjoyed the hell out of this no-budget monster movie. Despite the fact that the direction is flat, the action lifeless, the acting wooden and the special effects below average, THE BEING is still a largely enjoyable monster movie which serves as a throwback to those '50s backwoods monster movies which still stay in the nostalgist's heart to this day. Take away the brief nudity and gore scenes and the resemblance would be uncanny.Along with all the problems listed above, the film has further flaws (it's kind of like the runt of the litter - maybe that's why I take pity on it). For example, most of it is filmed at night (the monster only comes out at night, you see - gee, that's helpful for the special effects crew) and many scenes are so damned dark that you have to squint real hard in order to make out just what the hell is going on. This is aggravating. Also, the cheesy monster-on-the-loose stuff was very old, even when this film was made, and all it offers up are clichéd scares and broadcastable shock sequences. There's even one of those damned jumping cats living in a cupboard scare scenes.It's a definite bad movie all right, but that doesn't stop it being unenjoyable. The first scene in the film has a boy being chased by an unseen menace. He jumps into a car at a scrapyard (which miraculously starts) and just as you think he's escaping, the monster pops up to rip him apart. That's the kind of film it is. This monster attacks a whole lot of people before the credits roll. His next hit is at the local drive-in theatre which seems to be showing a similar movie to this one (except with more gratuitous nudity thrown in for good measure). After filling a loving couple's car with slime in an admittedly spooky scene, the monster rips them apart (offscreen) and pulls another poor redneck out of the passenger window! Amid the monster attack sequences (which take up more than half of the film), we have the typical plodding police investigation. Detective "Mortimer" (I'm not kidding) finds the monster under his bed so is understandably nervous, but that doesn't explain why he talks to himself all the while. It turns out that local scientist Garson Jones is responsible for dumping nuclear waste into the local river, which has in turn spawned the toxic monster. Blah blah, heard it all before. Back to the monster action.One reason I enjoyed this movie was the cast of familiar faces. Firstly we have Martin Landau (THE WARNING) as the local scientist who creates the monster unknowingly in the first place. I like Landau's haunted performances and here he gives another good one. Also appearing is exploitation stalwart Jose Ferrer as the town's Mayor. Apparently lots of the supporting female actors are famous in America but as I've never heard of them I'll leave it at that. Our lead Bill Osco (acting under a pseudonym), resident Powers Boothe-lookalike and unconvincing action hero, is pretty lousy as the lead, and it's pretty boring to watch him being repeatedly beaten up by the titular menace.Which leads me to the Being. Now in the world of derivative ALIEN rip-offs this has to be one of the most blatant. The same slimy skin, the same hands, the same bad teeth and the same jutting jaw. The only difference really is that this creature is red. But, although the special effects are cheap and awkward, I like this monster a lot. You see, it has a single human eye which rolls around a lot, which I personally find very disturbing indeed. Even frightening. This is a case where the design of the creature outdoes the execution and actually becomes successful. I have a feeling that most people will hate this movie, and it's recommended to real monster lovers only, but I think it's a blast!

"The Being" is must viewing for those fright film fans who delight in the cheap and the cruddy. As Leonard Maltins' paperback guide to movies has always succinctly put it, this is not just a B movie but a Z movie. It's got a few distinguished thespians slumming badly, crude direction by cult favourite Jackie Kong ("Blood Diner", "Night Patrol"), a routine and silly script, and enough hilarity to keep bad movie enthusiasts chortling for 82 minutes.Kongs' then-husband Bill Osco, the producer of this thing, also co-stars under the name Rexx Coltrane, as small town detective Mortimer Lutz, trying to solve the cases of missing people in his small town of Pottsville in Idaho. The culprit is a monster spawned by improperly "disposed" toxic waste, and it leaves gallons of slime wherever it goes. The perpetually cranky mayor (Jose Ferrer) doesn't want anything to hurt local business, while Garson Jones (Martin Landau), a scientist who is a fairly slimy one himself, does some snooping around.One is certain to smile watching the ineptitude play out as "The Being" tells its tale. One of the highlights is when two stoners watching a movie at a drive-in spot the creature and one of them utters an obscenity at it. Prompting the thing, of course, to devour him. The finale is great stuff, as Lutz goes through a hilarious amount of punishment while fighting the Being; this is one protracted battle. The effects are abysmal and audience members are certain to bust a gut when we finally get a good look at our antagonist. It's pretty suggestive looking, for one thing.One could savour the casting mix here: also among the people wasting their time here are Marianne Gordon (wife of Kenny Rogers at the time), Dorothy Malone as a woman desperately searching for her son, Ruth Buzzi as the mayors' annoying wife, comedians Murray Langston & Johnny Dark and author / actor Kinky Friedman as a trio of cannon fodder, Jerry Maren as the Being, and Kent Perkins (Buzzis' husband) as dopey Officer Dudley. The adorable tyke who gets too close to the Being at one point is played by Roxanne Cybelle, the daughter of Kong and Osco.Originally filmed in 1980 under the title "Easter Sunday", when capitalizing on the concept of holidays in horror was in vogue.This is a special kind of bad; my corresponding rating applies not to quality, obviously, but simple entertainment value.Seven out of 10.

This movie is almost like CHUD except not as good. It was somewhat disappointing in its first half, and then I realized that it wasn't going to get any better after that. The movie is on the par with cheap 1950's B-movie horror flicks, and is worth a watch on late night TV when nothing else is on. It's main problem is that it is rather un-inspired in its use of the overplayed theme of radioactive waste turning things into monsters, and is slow. It is quite funny, though and frightening in places. I rated it an embarrassingly high 5 -- Hey, so I'm easy to please.

Hmmm....well, I was surfing around an internet video store, and I came across "The Being." After reading it's description, I thought this movie would be pretty good, and also full of gore, so I bought the factory sealed tape. Boy, was that a stupid move!!! This had to be without a shadow of a doubt one of the most ridiculous and unbelievably dumbest horror movies I think I've ever seen in my entire life! The film is about some stupid monster that lurks within a toxic disposal dump, tearing off the heads of its victims. Now you see, that little description makes you think that there's going to be lots of violence and gore, but there's not. The movie was neither gory nor violent. This movie just plain sucked. The whole scenery was dark, and this film was not only annoying, but the background music was irritating as well. I would assume that this was an ultimately lame attempt for a scary movie, but jeez, does it fall flat! And these comments are based on the UNRATED print, so I can't even begin to imagine what the edited R-rated version is like. The bottom line: if you ever see this flick sitting in the horror shelf of your local video store, rated-R or UNRATED, do me a favor, pick it up and hide it behind a bunch of other videos, because this movie is a disgrace to all horror movies in existence. Beavis and Butthead couldn't say it any better, "this sucks!" UnratedX