Nightmare Beach (1989)

Good movie but grossly overrated

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

I saw the movie because Umberto Lenzi was its director. Umberto is one of my favorite directors, however, I was disappointed seeing this movie. There is some innovative murders in this (electric chair tied to a bike), but whole plot is so disjointed that it seems like they just stitched few scenes together without thinking of inter-transition. You won't feel any emotional attachment with any of the characters in movie. Not unwatchable, but you won't miss anything if you give this one a slip.

There isn't a great deal of entertainment value to be found in these here parts. This one of those goofy slasher movies which lacks those elements that bring cheesy entertainment and isn't even any good on a so bad its good level.Following the execution of a bikey leader a mysterious biker goes a killing spree during spring break in Florida, dispatching his victims mainly by electrocution. The whole movie is badly executed and almost all scenes fall flat resulting in no laughs, suspense or excitement. The acting is absolutely terrible even by the standards of dreck like this. The younger actors, including our blander than bland leads, deliver their lines like kindy kids in the end of year Christmas play. I do not exaggerate when I say that the actress who plays the biker girl may well give the worst acting performance in the history of film. Even the old hands like Michael Parks and John Saxon don't exactly distinguish themselves, phoning in poor performances.The whole movie just trundles along each scene trundled through in a workman like fashion by the directors and actors with no flair or style right up till the Scooby Doo style plot resolution. Even the exploitative elements fail to disappoint; there is little gore other than in the lame and fake looking deaths by electrocution and for a slasher movie set a spring break it is remarkably chaste. What is left over is bad actors going through the motions in the paint by numbers plot and a lot of padding, involving spring break hijinks, some of which I think was meant to be funny and filler subplots like the one involving the bikey gang, which isn't even properly resolved. If a movie like this can't even get the lowest common denominator elements right there is not a lot of point to it.

Actually, no, this is not Porky's 4. The clichéd title (Welcome To Spring Break) makes this sound like an '80's T&A teen comedy, but it's not. A biker is juiced in the electric chair and soon the teens on Miami Beach on spring break start dying, at the hands of a maniac riding a motorbike and wearing a helmet to hide his/her identity (Night School?). The villain(s) do become apparent at the 45 minute mark, and after a while the mystery killer story basically becomes secondary to all the other sub-plots. Slasher fans should look elsewhere. Mystery fans would be more at home watching one of those Perry Mason TV movies. Fans of '80's B-movies might enjoy this on a viewing, but otherwise it's useless. The slasher story set up it offers for a while is hampered with a dim-witted killing spree of useless characters, offed with electricity, which defeats the whole purpose of this being a slasher movie. The mystery angle the movie offers is supported with horrible characters and a story that goes nowhere. The movie has average production values, but scenes of real spring break action which is shown frequently is distracting, and the beach the thing takes place on is always cloudy. A waste of time. '80's B-movie fans might wanna look once. One And A Half Stars.

~Spoiler~Welcome to Spring Break is an uninspired effort from Umberto Lenzi. It's a tame slasher entry that's pretty bleak and uneventful. It's also horribly dated, just listen to that soundtrack and look at those shorts. Not even John Saxon and Michael Parks (two great actors you may recognize from From Dusk Till Dawn) can save it. I agree with the other reviewers about the loose ends. After the finish of the film (which you should have seen coming from a mile away if you're not an idiot), I was wondering what happened to the thief, the priest's daughter, and John Saxon. I guess you can shoot a cop, drag him around town behind your bike, and get away with it. I won't say it's terrible because it is at least tolerable and has some laughable moments (the Go Gators Guy is hilarious). However, that still doesn't mean you should go looking for it. If you're a fan of the eighties slasher, you might enjoy it. If not, stay away. Movies like this make me smile because someone produced this. Why not just give me the money and I'll put it to better use.