Today You Die (2005)

Memorable, crazy movie

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

Watching it is like watching the spectacle of a class clown at their best: you laugh at their jokes, instigate their defiance, and "ooooh" when they get in trouble.

Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

I love this movie. As soon as it starts out with him in bed saying, "Tell me your dreams and I'll tell you what they mean, cuz dreams mean things," my wife and I started laughing. I knew we were in for another Seagal treat. I just wish I could walk like Seagal. Seriously, just watch how Seagal walks with his arms flat to his sides. And the way he runs! Holy crap this guy is incredible. This movie has some of my favorites: Seagal doing black Seagal again - I swear the man can't quit doing it, Seagal in prison again, and all kinds of one-liners. He is a thief in this one. Steven likes the movies where is he always in the grey area of the law. He is always a good guy with a bad side, or a bad guy with a good side. In this one it is the latter. Do yourself a favor and watch this one with someone you care about, so you can laugh together at how funny this comedy featuring Steven Seagal is.

The plot: A thief tries to go straight but is tricked into performing one last heist, which lands him in prison. After escaping, he recruits a sidekick and seeks his revenge.There are just so many things wrong with Today You Die that it's the kind of movie where you just don't know where to even begin. To start with, the movie has trouble with even basic plot continuity. For example, the protagonist's wife is introduced as being psychic, having prophetic dreams, and visiting a tarot card reader. Throughout the the early part of the movie, this is an important element, but near the middle, it's completely abandoned. The movie is sloppy and lazy, but this is probably the sloppiest and laziest part of it.Seagal seems to be pumping out as many crap movies as possible, to cash out on his fans before he retires. It's an insult to his fans, and he owes us an apology. Say what you will about Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme, but they would never abuse their fans like this.

'Today You Die' is a routine action-flick, that is Strictly Passable! It has some merits, but not too many either.'Today You Die' Synopsis: A former thief who is trying to go straight seeks vengeance on those who framed him.'Today You Die' is a routine action-flick, with monotony being its biggest enemy. However, this 2005-flick does deliver some Good moments & Fabulous Action-Sequences. Don E. FauntLeRoy's Direction is fine. Cinematography, Editing & Art Design, are decent.Performance-Wise: Steven Seagal delivers a fair performance. Anthony "Treach" Criss does well. Mari Morrow looks great & is earnest. Kevin Tighe & Sarah G. Buxton fill the bill.On the whole, 'Today You Die' is passable.

This film is what would happen if Steven Segal starred in "Prison Break" That is to say he would escape in about 10 minutes and have all the bad guys dead in about an hour and a half. There is some terrible acting from the lady who plays his wife/lover and an unintelligible subplot about how shes scared of "demons" The film does not bother to let you know whats going on and makes little sense, but that does not detract from the nice cars and wonderful performance by Treach as the worlds most trusting and gullible prison inmate. I still have no idea what he did or did not do with the money that he stole at the start, or who the incredibly smug bloke was who got blown up in his helicopter, but he certainly deserved it just for his smugness.