Frost: Portrait of a Vampire (2003)

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

This is the first time I have ever watched a film that was so appallingly bad that I almost didn't care to watch the second half of the movie on fast forward. OK, so it's supposed to be a vampire movie. It is not scary at any point. It turns out to be a sort of vehicle for action figure Frost who wears sunglasses through the entire movie because (in contrast to the vampires in the movie) his eyes are extremely sensitive to light. There is a ridiculous red herring (allthough the term red herring doesn't really apply to a movie without a sensible plot) in the script where Frost is hired to steal a painting and does in a sort of even-lower-budget McGyver way. This has nothing to do with the rest of the movie and there is no follow-up. The only good thing to say about "Portrait..." is that the sound and picture quality is OK. It is not even unintentionally funny. A soft-core porn movie with all the nude scenes cut out would be more entertaining. I give my sympathy to the cameramen, boom holders and professional editors who will apparently work for food.

The movie's abysmal idiocy is not as terrifying as the fact that some of those who comment on it here on IMDb actually like it (like mortalli and coyote13). It's not just bad or disappointing. Someone should be made to PAY for releasing this onto the market. I actually went by Blockbuster's and complained, demanding my money back and for them to take the movie off the shelf. I LOVE the vampire concept, and stalk video stores for anything of the sort, knowing that I will be able to filter any bad things about such a movie out, and enjoy the good parts that I so love. Well, not this time. Absolute torture. Avoid at all costs. Seriously. It's not even funny.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*The mere thought of a Gary Busey vampire movie excites me. Could he bring the same magic from "Silver Bullet" to the vampire genre? I would bet he could. You'd never know it from watching "Frost: Portrait of a Fraud". Gary Busey plays a blind Daredevil of an art dealer (?!). Busey has next to nothing to do with this movie except for deceiving B-movie maniacs like myself into renting it. What a rip-off.This flick brings up a question I often find myself asking: If filmmakers think that a horror/monster angle is going to sell their movie, why not take the next logical step and make an actual horror movie? Someone really wanted to make a cheap-o action movie starring some overweight biker as Rambonehead the commando. Unfortunately the moneymen felt that this had been done to death and asked for a gimmick:"Well, how about one of the commandos gets bit by a vampire in broad daylight and then he's a vampire. So then we do some more lame soldier stuff cause I got this great footage of a helicopter we can use over and over and over...What's that? The vampire? Oh yeah! So anyway we zig zag from Afghanistan to Mexico to San Diego. No we don't really go to all those places. We film it in my backyard! Duh! Anyway about the vampire. We make him one of those self-loathing ones. He mopes around which is good for about 15 minutes of drama. "15 minutes". Now there was a good movie. Oh Right. The vampire. So anywho he is a vampire and then some other stuff happens and Gary Busey shows up and we film a helicopter or three and there's the movie. Whatta ya think dude?""Well, as long as there is a helicopter in my vampire movie...ehhhhh..."

This movie was REALLY REALLY badly done. It's not worth really saying much about it other than that, but it was SO bad that I just had to write SOMETHING about it.There are no redeeming features in this movie. Why would Gary Busey do something like this? I don't understand.