C.H.O.M.P.S. (1979)

The Worst Film Ever

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

Brian (Wesley Eure) works for a security firm owned by Mr. Norton (Conrad Bain). The Norton firm is in financial trouble for, unknown to the owner, he has an employee who is selling secrets to a rival firm's owner (Jim Bacchus). It's not Brian, as he is a loyal and faithful employee and a good inventor. But, Mr. Norton has no patience with Brian, in part because Norton's beautiful daughter, Casey (Valerie Bertinelli) has a thing for Brian and Norton questions Brian's motives for wooing her. However, Brian does come up with a great security device. It's called CHOMPS, which stands for canine home security system. The device, which looks like a dog, is actually a computer controlled animal with the ability to knock down walls and emit siren sounds to capture burglars. The rival owner sends two bungling spies (one is Red Buttons) to learn the details of the new invention. Will CHOMPS save Norton security? This is a fun family flick from the old school of good, clean entertainment. CHOMPS is, of course, a real dog, played by the adorable and talented Benji. In fact, Benji has a duel role, as Brian has a "real" dog named Rascal, too. Just watching this little dog in action is pure joy, as he is able to scale walls, "pull" trucks, and operate machine buttons to capture the bad guys. The human cast is also quite nice, with everyone giving upbeat performances that are infectious. Costumes, scenery, and production values are good, too. Although you may have trouble locating the film, it would be well worth the effort to secure a view for your closest loved ones. CHOMPS is a wonderful, wholesome diversion from the world's woes.

C.H.O.M.P.S. isn't the greatest kid-geared film made, but it is a lot of fun to watch. It's especially fun if you're a dog lover. The idea of a robotic home-security dog that follows number-based commands may have been a bit far-fetched in 1979, but it could be an actuality in the near future. Aside from one serious curse word ("s***", which is why it's rated PG) spoken in the mind of a neighboring dog, C.H.O.M.P.S. is harmless, less violent, & more imaginative than most "children" films nowadays. Yes, it is dopey, but what the heck - it's a cute film for kids & doesn't try to be anything else. Simple, innocent entertainment. The dog is cuddly, the acting is mediocre (several then TV stars are in it - Jim Backus, Conrad Bains, the guy from Land of the Lost, Valerie Bertinelli, Red Buttons, etc.), but it's an enjoyable film if your expectations aren't too high. Give it a chance.

For a scientifically-engineered super-dog that was supposed to be the answer to petit crime, CHOMPS was a chump.All I ever saw Chomps do was sit, or walk, or run. Or run, then walk, then sit... and then get back up again and stretch, and then walk, and then jog to K-Tel dance hits. And sometimes it had all the answers to the daily Jumbo. But mostly it just sat a lot.All I am saying is: In a Celebrity Death Match, Chomps couldn't take out Mr. Bigglesworth.

In this spoof of crime fighting gadgetry and corrupt business execs.Wesley Euire(Best rememebed as "Will Marshall"on the 1970's version of The Kroft Bros.and NBC TV's"Land Of The Lost Show!")creates a bioonic dog.Which he programs to protect property and people from intruders.A large crime wave hits the city and Euire tries to impress his not too understanding boss:"Mr.Norton"(played by former "Maude"and "Different Strokes"actor:Conraid Bain)with his new invention.His efforts are not too well received by "Mr.Norton"(Mr.Bain).But it takes some crooked doings by Bain's competitor(played delightfully by the late Mr.Jim Backus)and his two bumbling hencemen(played by the equally delightful Chuck McCann and Red Buttons)and alot of persuation from Bain's Daughter"Casey"(Valerie Bertinelli)to get Bain to ultilize Mr.Euire's crime fighting dog device.Bertinelli's performances are sadly limited to a few scenes .Where she fights with her onscreen father(Mr.Bain)to get him to use "Chomps"and she bills and coos with Mr.Euire.Other than these minors sequences.The rest of the film centers on Euire's attemps to get his device to work right.And the bumbling capers of Messers:McCann,Backus and Buttons are the real stars of this minor film comedy from Cartoon producers:The Late Mr.William Hanna and Mr.Joesph Barbera.