Kiss Me Monster (1969)

Such a frustrating disappointment

Good , But It Is Overrated By Some

It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

I'm gonna keep this review short and sweet (like the movie).KISS ME MONSTER is nothing but fun. It's campy, it's surely a product of it's time (the late 1960's Europe), and if you like Eurospy spoofs and Jess Franco, you won't really be disappointed here.The plot is whacky, (like it's predecessor, "Two Under Cover Angels", aka "Sadist Erotica"), but this movie really isn't about the plot. What makes it fun is the sharp fast paced witty dialog between the two leads. It comes off almost like a sitcom, paced with a jab or joke almost every other line.So, that's about all there is to it, if you like these kinds of movies, and just want something very light and campy, check it out.

Franco's sequel to his amusingly campy tongue-in-cheek spy romp "Two Undercover Girls" is an even more loopy, playful, and saucy outing that blithely eschews narrative coherence in favor of gloriously giddy and inane all-out lunacy. This time our luscious and vivacious Red Lips dynamic distaff super sleuth duo -- shrewd minx Diana (delicious redhead Janice Reynaud) and cheery airhead Regina (yummy blonde Rosanna Yanni) -- run afoul of a kooky assortment of folks who include masked cultists who resemble rogue Klu Klux Klan members and a team of lesbian feminists who are all after a secret formula for making human clones. Reynaud and Yanni display a positively infectious loose and natural on-screen chemistry; it's a total delight to see these lovely ladies banter and bounce off each other as they find themselves in one crazy situation after another: The gals pose as a sultry saxophone act, wear the wildest clothes, bust a few clunky karate chops, and even perform a smoking hot striptease number. Of course, this being a Franco flick there's the inevitable hilariously gratuitous and protracted nightclub set piece complete with funky uninhibited dancing and insanely blaring music. Why, Jess even tosses in a mild whipping and a decent smidgen of tasty bare female flesh for good measure. The cast have a field day with their broad roles: Adrian Hoven as the sinister Eric Vicas, Chris Howland as inept detective Francis McClure, Michael Lemoine as charming mad scientist Jacques Maurier, Ana Casares as vampy club owner Linda, and Manuel Velasco as affable playboy Andy. The richly saturated cinematography by Jorge Herrero and Franz Hofer gives the picture a dazzling vibrant look. Jerry van Rooyen's exuberant jazz score likewise hits the right-on groovy spot. An absolute wacky blast.

As terrible as it was, I enjoyed this in a perverse "oh god, I could do better than that" kinda way. The guys who looked and acted like they'd flunked the Thunderbirds casting call. The dubbing that made me grateful that chop socky cheapos weren't dubbed in Germany by unemployed bierfest toastmasters. The stock footage that made me pine for the infamous white Jag 3.4 going over the cliff again again. The flashless guns that somehow kill people they're not aimed at (Did Roy Rogers ever patent them?) And the bouffantastic hairstyles that screamed "WIIIIIIIIIIIG!!!!!" loud enough to influence Divine and Joan Collins. Somehow, I understood what little evidence of plot there was. This can probably be put down to a childhood diet of duff mangas and creaky Godzilla movies. The idea is that they get from scene one to finale without being mangled by the badddies. Erm, that's it. My brain barely broke sweat, but my funnybone was in overdrive. I'm not going to give it a post modern ironic 10, but the 5 is praise for making me hoot with incredulous laughter at the lapses in acting ability, plot, and continuity. The soundtrack is surprisingly cool. The band in the disco seem to be performing an excellent ersatz Detroit r n b breaks medley, and the kooky jazz pieces seemed seemed perfectly apt in context.I've seen worse.

This is an appalling movie by most people's standards, but I totally loved it. A must for anyone with a weakness for camp 60s psychedelia (of the Barbarella/Modesty Blaise/Diabolik variety) this Jess Franco film regales us with the further adventures of the 'Red Lips' gals - Diana (Janine Reynaud) and Regina (Rossana Yanni) who last brightened our lives in the still-more-outrageous Sadisterotica.Two sexy undercover agents on the trail of a mad doctor and his race of Frankenstein-style monster hunks, Reynaud and Yanni strut about in deliriously over-the-top high-fashion outfits. Bicker back and forth like Edina and Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous. Reduce any unfortunate male who crosses their path to a pool of helpless mush. Oh, and they even find time to perform a transvestite nightclub act on saxophones. Now that's what I call style!As for the 'plot'(if there is any) I've seen this movie twice and still can't fathom it. Something about a tropical island, animatronic muscle men, whip-wielding lesbians, feathered cabaret outfits, effete and sinister scientists and a mystical secret sect who sit around in black Ku Klux Klan hoods and crimson robes and struggle (vainly, it turns out) to explain what is going on. The continuity is even more abysmal than in most of Franco's oeuvre - so much so that the girls seem to be driving a different car in every shot!Yet as an introduction to this mad genius and his deranged and surreal style of movie-making, you could do a lot worse than Kiss Me Monster. At least in the version I saw, there's almost none of the lurid blood and sex that was standard in Franco's later work. The one truly nasty moment here is a brief-but-gruesome surgery scene. Otherwise, it's all good, clean, campy, psychedelic fun. Everyone on and offscreen seems be in a drug-induced haze. Well, it WAS the 60s after all!