Promises! Promises! (1963)

Too much of everything

Brilliant and touching

The acting in this movie is really good.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

This movie is considerate: it delivers what it promises (Jayne Mansfield topless) twice in the first 5 minutes - so you don't really need to bother with the remaining 70. Mansfield has a sensational body indeed (breasts as well as legs), but the film is more static and unfunny that smutty and scandalous. Tommy Noonan's drunken routine gets tiresome fast, T.C. Jones' gay-hairdresser routine is even worse. *1/2 out of 4.

Promises.... Promises! (1963) * 1/2 (out of 4)There's no question that the story, acting, directing and production is one of the worst ever made but are you really coming to this film for any of that? PROMISES....PROMISES! is a landmark movie because it was the first one in history to feature a major Hollywood star nude. That honor goes to Jayne Mansfield who right around the four minute mark shows off her breasts in a bubble bath and within minutes we're introduced to two other nude scenes. This is really a hard movie to judge because there's no question that it's poorly made, dreadfully dull and lifeless but at the same time it's still quite shocking to see an actress from this era appearing nude. It's not like this is some smut film featuring an unknown woman as these have been around since the earliest days of cinema. No, this here was a well-known star taking off her clothes and the first scene in the bath is actually quite sexual so God knows what people thought back when this was first released. From its historic stance, this here is a must see. Mansfield appears in three different nude scenes and these are replayed throughout the movie. What shocked me the most is that the producers didn't hold the nudity until later in the movie and instead we get our first glimpse at the four minute mark and two other scenes shortly after. Usually bad movies with "one" gimmick hold off on the prize but I give the filmmakers credit for not messing around and actually giving people what they wanted. The nude scenes serve no real purpose to the story but it's Mansfield. The performances by the four leads are all pretty bad and especially Tommy Noonan who plays Mansfield's husband. His performance as a drunk is one of the worst I've ever seen but Mickey Hargitay (Manfield's real husband) wasn't much better. Mansfield doesn't seem to be too happy during any of the scenes as she doesn't give much of a performance. PROMISES..... PROMISES! is a bad movie and there's no doubt about that but at the same time it's a must see.

There was a time when you could not show nudity in films. And then all of a sudden you could. Who better to use to display this newfound freedom than Jayne Mansfield? So, in Promises! Promises! Mansfield takes off her clothes. Anything else worth saying about the film? Not really. It's a comedy of mishaps and misunderstandings. Unfortunately there is practically nothing that is at all funny in this supposed comedy. How desperate is the film for laughs? Well, there's a female impersonator, a character who is the most wretched thing in the largely wretched film. He does a Jayne Mansfield impersonation. Mansfield's character responds that she does her too. Hilarious, right? No, not at all. The plot, about who exactly is impregnating whom aboard a cruise ship, is rather inane. There's not even enough story to stretch the film out to a proper feature length. The film clocks in at a mere 75 minutes but it seems interminable. In a sign of true desperation Mansfield's brief nude scenes are repeated over and over again in dream sequences or flashbacks. At least the filmmakers were honest with themselves and the audience. They knew people were only coming to see this film for one reason. Well, two reasons to be precise. Mansfield's acting in the film actually isn't half bad. But the story's a dud and the rest of the cast gives Mansfield very little support. As a film Promises! Promises! fails miserably. But nobody cares about its quality as a film, the thing only exists as a vehicle to show off Mansfield's prize assets. In that, if nothing else, it succeeds.

This is an early mainstream sex comedy that stands out because it was the first to feature an actress naked (Jayne Mansfield). Had the nudity been necessary for the plot and not just used as a gimmick, this might have been a better movie. Instead, nude shots (often the same one again and again) were placed rather randomly in the film and it made the film seem a bit sloppy and exploitative. In addition, the plot itself is pretty smutty as well--making this a rather adult film. Despite all this, the film isn't as bad as you might guess and I think a few of the reviews were a bit too harsh. While it certainly isn't a great film and the actors are 2nd rate (at best), the film is a decent time-passer provided, of course, you don't let the kids watch.The plot involves an unlikely married couple on a worldwide cruise, nerdy Tommy Noonan and Jayne Mansfield. Noonan has serious sexual performance anxiety and sees the ship's doctor for help. The doctor realizes that there probably isn't anything anatomically wrong with Tommy and gives him a placebo to give him confidence. I guess most man can empathize--most men would have been intimidated (at least to a degree) by sexy nymphet Mansfield. Later, through some tough to believe coincidences, Noonan believes that his now-pregnant wife was NOT impregnated by him. In addition, a female friend becomes pregnant and it looks like Noonan could be the father.As you can tell by the description, this is a very adult film--particularly for 1963. The acting is only fair, the plot tough to believe but somehow the total effort comes off....well....okay. Not a great film and not a must-see, but still a film of historical significance.