Andre the Butcher (2005)

Touches You

Simply Perfect

Excellent but underrated film

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Every once in a while a surprisingly good movie surfaces. And lately it's low budget movies that manage to come up with something unique and entertaining. This movie is one such gem. No A-list actors, which is always a good thing unless in your world, RJ is an A-list actor. That does not mean that the acting is bad. All the main actors do an outstanding job, if you appreciate subdued acting. This is not hyperhysterical sceaming dialogue that goes as good acting these days. Granted that some of the secondary actors aren't all that great- I'm thinking about some of the cops. The actors here succeed in portraying their characters, young community college kids, horny, hungry, funny. The script is outstanding. First of all, there is a script, unlike most movies these days that give you fancy effects and no dialogue. The script is fresh, funny, witty, unique. What starts out as a mundane story line of stranded cheerleaders in the middle of nowhere turns out to have plenty of surprises in store. The special effects are good and quite gory at times. The girls are pretty and there is a seriously erotic scene here, something you'll never see in your megaplex. In fact, there are a couple of scenes that only independent filmmakers have the guts to create and there are a few of those here. I like that this movie is filmed on location in Florida and not in some Hollywood backlot or in LA. This is an outstanding effort by a group of people who seem to like movies and know how to make a good production with a limited budget. I hope to see more from them. Andre the Butcher II would be something to look forward to. You won't be disappointed with this movie if you like your movies light, entertaining, fun, and sexy. For sure this is a better horror movie than 95% of the junk that ends up in theaters and is marketed as horror these days.

If you like slasher movies and would like to enjoy a refreshing gore-and-boobies movie, this is for you. From the incredibly creative minds of Phil Cruz and James Hyde comes this witty humorous horror flick. How funnier can you get when you have Ron Jeremy feeding off his own flesh, who staples his arm back to his body after being blown away, and who summons chubby girls to their death by suspending a donut from a tree? Young men with hard peckers, scantly clad cheerleaders, blood and guts. It's raw, it's indie, it's here. Now it is what it is so be aware this is not a made-for-Oscar flick. The best way to enjoy this movie is by gathering a few friends, eating a wide variety of potato chips and knocking back a few cold ones.

First of all, this movie was meant to be a B-rated cheesy horror flick. You cannot take anything with Ron Jeremy in it too seriously anyhow (non-porno that is). I was expecting a serious, brutal gore-fest, but instead got a fun, gory, laughable movie. There's the usual blood, babes, and boobs and a hilarious old timer who helps narrate the tale. There is even a "fart" scene. Gee, what else could you ask for? The effects are decent for this type of flick and the acting isn't all that bad. Plus, there are a couple of hot looking chicks that aren't hard on the eyes. I just wish the DVD had more extras, like maybe a behind the scenes featurette or interviews with the actors and actresses. Anyhow, looking for a cheesy, fun, enjoyable late night movie? Check it out!

Even if you don't love Ron Jeremy, or understand his place in pop culture history, you will appreciate his contribution to Dead Meat. He is hilarious, even without speaking a word. The usual slasher ingredients are here (ingredients, get it? Ha Ha!) cheerleaders, boobies, questionable chili, a scary dude killing people, some escaped convicts, etc. You know the drill: pretty people end up in a scary house in the woods, and are killed off one by one after they have lesbian sex/take off their bikini tops/eat some chili. It totally rocks, right down to the sound track. The best part of this film is the writing, which is funny, surprising, and full of fun. The actors all seem to be having a blast, even in the Florida heat. The special effects are surprisingly awesome for an independent film. There is one that deserves particular praise, but I won't spoil it by telling you. Quality all the way! I saw this film at its premier, and loved it from start to finish. There are not many big budget movies that are able to keep my attention the way this independent film did. I hope to see more from the filmmakers in the future.