The Golden Boys (2008)

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

I didn't expect to either like or dislike this film. I thought it would be a rut gut parody full type of comedy, which I like better if it is well done. Instead, it was the "safe" situation comedy, which is also hard to do, but doesn't make you feel like a failure if an audience doesn't burst out in laughter.It's the story of three retired seamen in the early twentieth century, on the Massachussetts coast, who realize they live in a sty, and put an ad out for a woman to marry one of them.Of course you know the woman will fall for one of the other two, and it's very obvious who it will be. However, it is the small things that make a movie like this a "professional" job. And the attention to detail is incredible. One gets the feeling that some of the people involved spent a decade to get this sort of polish.The little things mean all the subplots and minor characters outside of the "triangle", which isn't a love "triangle", but a very real looking situation. Dern pretty well steals the show as the third man, the one outside of the triangle, partly from writing and partly from Dern. That's what I mean by a "professional" job. Everyone involved just did a perfect job.This makes the film flow. I am on the cusp of "attention deficit disorder" and I didn't lose a beat. It just flowed along like the waves of the shore. Good scenery helped. Also, the feeling that you've met some of these people in old age later on. Worth the rental or library check out. Thumbs up.

This movie plays like a throwback to 1960s era TV sitcoms, with nothing from the cheesy "special effects" to the "family" dynamics of three septuagenarian bachelors living under one roof likely to raise an eyebrow if some of the original MY THREE SONS viewers "flashed forward" to watch THE GOLDEN BOYS. From its opening grumbling about the quality of the grub the oldster trio is capable of making for each other (and their naive assumption that one wife will be enough to go around) to the final little jig Captain Jerry (Rip Torn) secretly dances to celebrate getting his way, the plot turns are as predictable as the Pittsburgh Pirates finishing the baseball season with more losses than wins. Which is not to say that watching THE GOLDEN BOYS is worse than water-boarding.On the contrary, Bruce Dern, Rip Torn, and David Carradine generate a certain chemistry, while lesser player Charles Durning is spot on in his role as death warmed over. Furthermore, Mariel Hemingway lends a poignant touch to her role as a prospective wife ordered from the want ads. The fact that she gave Carradine one of his final thrills before he died in real life during post-production is brought out on this movie's DVD extra, titled FROM ZEN MASTER TO SHIPMASTER: THE LIFE AND CAREER OF DAV!D CARRADINE (which is a somewhat cheesy, exploitative title, since this featurette clocks in at 40 minutes plus in its awkward effort to combine the traditional "making of" function with a tribute to its fallen star). At any rate, the late actor states Hemingway provided him his first opportunity to kiss a "man-sized woman," though I was not sure if he meant just on film, or overall.

I hate to rain on the Cape Cod parade, but this film was unsatisfying. I don't know if it was the budget or incompetence, but the film just never felt like it was set in 1905. Somehow I don't think 70 year olds in 1905 had perfect teeth, but that's just one small thing. Mariel Hemingway was either miscast or awful. She was too young (47) and her accent was inconsistent and all over the U.S. One moment it was refined New England, and then it might be small town hick. Rip Torn's character, frozen in one facial expression the entire movie, made no sense. Even after two disastrous marriages, what 70 y.o. man is going to turn down 47 y.o. Mariel Hemingway? The ship wreck and rescue were just amateur film making, or maybe budget problems.What was most frustrating was the writer seemed to leave so many opportunities on the table. I think ultimately they couldn't decide between romance and comedy, so did neither well. Was it going to be "Grumpy Old Men" or "On Golden Pond"?Despite it's failings, the film has a bit of charm. If you are really good at suspending disbelief, you may find it reasonably entertaining.

The Golden Boys is a film that is easy to miss. The cast is everyone you know but has no A-list stars. The plot of three captains now retired looking for a woman who will be marry any one of them and so become a permanent housekeeper is nothing special. Yet at the heart of this lies something rather wonderful: it is a tale about people who care more deeply for each other and the place they live in than just for themselves.The settings, costuming, and filming are all delightful. Set in 1905 there has been a real effort to recreate the interiors and exteriors in such a way that you smell the lavender water and the sea water.The actor who shines in this is David Carradine - here, rather than trying to be the cool actor, he is rather the mature one, the dependable one, and as this was to become of his last films, it's kind of an odd role for him, yet one that seems more right than many of his others. Hemingway is as ever gorgeous, and here, her character is sense and sensibility at its best.All in all, this is a wistful, good valued small film, and nicely sentimental without saccharine. If you wish you could have lived in simpler times then this is a film for you.