Pocket Ninjas (1997)

Better Late Then Never

Awesome Movie

A waste of 90 minutes of my life

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

This is without doubt one of the worst film ever made, this film makes every other bad films looks good. I am amazed by how bad this film is. I really doubt this movie made any money in any return. I feel bad for who-ever produce this film. I was morbidly curious, so I watched it first. That was a major lapse of judgment. Its looks like a rip-off of Three Ninjas and Power Rangers. Anyways, first off, what is with the title? Pocket Ninja? What is that? Sounds like a pervert name where a guy who'd ask kids to put their hand into his pocket and they'd end up grabbing his privates. Stupid title. Pocket Ninjas was originally entitled Skate Dragons. The film was intended to be a children's version of 1991's The Roller Blade Seven that would showcase director Donald G. Jacksons' "Roller Cam" cinematography and "Zen Film-making" style. "Zen Film Making" is the philosophy of film making that says you don't need a script to your movie, you just film a bunch of random scenes and call it a movie. Pointless scenes such as a balloon factory fight, a guy riding on top of a stolen car. It has nothing to do with the main story. A stupid parade and last a supersonic virtual reality game with annoying sounds and music to make your ears bleed. However, Jackson was replaced when executive producers felt the "Zen Film-making" style was not working. Eddy was brought in to create a wrap around for the Jackson and the producer's extra footage. It was a mess. The film starts with clowns, no really, three kids that looks like Ninja ass clowns with their masks on trying to fight crime. They are Steve (Brad Bufanda) whom girlfriend Amy complaining about him near the end was out of the blue. It really paid off by only showing the top of her head. The next one is Damien (Joseph Valencia) whom special ninja power is that he can play a Gameboy with no cartridge. Last is Tanya (Sondi) who kicks in the endless amounts of training montages are just bad to watch. ¾ of the film is just training montages. The whole point of the training montages in movies is to pump us up for the big final fight scene. In order for us to be pumped up, they have to be pumped up. They have to looks motivated and dedicated in those cut scenes not sleepy. Their skills also don't improve from one training scene to the next - they're always bad. If I have kids, they're not getting Karate lessons, because I've seen enough kids training in this movie than I'd want to in my life or next! Their leader is the White Dragon (Gary Daniels). No surprised there. I wonder what Black Dragon thinks about this. Painful acting on display by Gary Daniels and from everybody. No worries, Gary Daniel's character disappears half way in the film and never returns. It's never explain. The worst acting is Cubby Khan (Rick Rabago) the kid leader of the street gang called the Stoners, or Stringers. They change their name throughout the film. He reads his line with no delivery. His father Cobra Khan (Robert Z'Dar) while not playing patty cake and doing a Tarzan impression is working with an evil pollution company man to pour toxic waste or something. The plot never get fresh out, as even a sub-plot romantic between White Dragon and Damien's mother is cut. The writing is so bad, it felt like it's in a different language. Like, Canadian or something. I think that some up the sheer stupidity of the movie. I really do. This movie is in fact a definition of real low-brow stupidity brought to screen. Pocket Ninjas was so bad, it was produce in 1994, but wasn't release on VCR until 1997. It seems like the fight never ends. Just like the movie

What a god awful movie. I really wish I could swear on this, but alas, I cannot. I can't even believe that this is real. I watched it with a few friends in a basement, and just wow. WOW. What in hell were the creators of this monstrosity thinking? What did they think they could accomplish? If you are considering this movie, don't even think about it (if you're even brave enough to call it a movie.) My friends were bugging me to sign up on this to comment on here, so I finally broke down and registered. The camera work was done by a grade 2 child, and the acting was extremely painful, as you could obviously tell they were reading the script for every single line. The 6 montages (2 of which were partially re-used, by the way) were excruciating. Also, for the scenes where Robert Z'Dar was in the movie, I sat there in awe of his ungodly chin. It could swallow the sun. It could feed the entire continent of Africa for at least a month, probably more like 3 or 4. Hell, I even think it could probably kick the crap out of Chuck Norris. And that's saying something. Anyways, what I mean to say is that this movie is ridiculous. If you want some amazing laughs, acquire this "movie" some how and watch it with a couple friends. You will NOT be disappointed. Please, be intoxicated, otherwise you may hurt yourselves though.

Many,Many people say that Troll 2 is the funniest bad movie Ever. But I Disagree.Pocket Ninjas Takes that crown.The plot follows Three Kids (There Not The Three Ninjas) Who go to the same karate class.Wait,Before I go on,I must mention That Almost EVERYONE in the movie is from The movie"Future War"And That was on mst3k.Why didn't they show this one,too.Anyway,It turns out that drug attics spilled toxic wast in a bay,and a whole bunch of fish were poisined.Cubby Khan was the man(or,10 year old boy)Behind it. So The kids and There master prepare to fight him. But Cubby Khan Sends A part of his Street Gang ,Led By the fearless Cobra Khan,to harass the citizens.They Know that will draw he attention of The White Dragon. But He has trained his 3 ninjas(TM) well.This results in some awesome fight scenes with the kids patrolling the streets(They Did know how to fight,and I could see them winning against a grown man in real life)Cobra Khan himself,however ,is too strong for the students.He attacks the circus(With one of the funniest lines in the movie,A clown blows up a bunch of balloons and says "Hey,Think I should quit smoking") Cobra Khan is too slow,and the white dragon defeats him.The climactic battle takes place in cyber space(!),Between the youngest good ninja and Cubby Khan. All in all,If you are a fan of bad movies,or martial arts movies,Check This out.Its very funny,and the kids are really talented.Edit:I Must point out,the vurtua dfight ripps soud effecte from atari games

This move was so ridiculously bad, I knew it was going to be bad and I still fell asleep watching it. 45 minutes of training footage, 10 minutes of pre-teen name calling, 30 minutes of extremely fake fighting and 6 more minutes of evil scheming make up the 91 minutes of horrible. Seriously it was funny because it was so bad but I'm not sure I could watch it again without a generous monetary sum. I laughed rather hard at some parts like "They were huge and they had big muscles" but the funniest parts of the movie was the intended humor in some parts was so bad that it was actually funny. For example when the mom doesn't go after the hundred dollar bill but she does go after grocery coupons, It was so incredibly lame that the attempt made me laugh.