Call Girl of Cthulhu (2014)

Thanks for the memories!

The first must-see film of the year.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

An artist shut in Falls in love with a prostitute, who also happens to be Cthulhu's chosen bride. Together they try and stop a cult from bringing the old ones back (or something) and starting the apocalypse. Practical effects and enthusiastic acting make it a fun enough ride. I guess it was a Kickstarter backed project. I liked the twist on the love story sub plot. I rate it a : "I have already watched it twice, but once was just background noise"

If you are like me and have come across this movie and think the title alone is hilarious and worth watching, Call Girl Of Cthulhu will not disappoint you. Call Girl... is a very tongue in cheek, micro budgeted horror/comedy that delivers the campy and gory goods. Considering of course this is centered on our leading lady of the night Riley and her occupation is to fulfill the needs of all kinds of horny men, the film has a whole lot of sex appeal and delivers in that area as well. Riley, is a smoking hot hooker with a heart of gold that ends up in a romance when meeting an awkward, but sweet artist and virgin who paints her portrait. Things go awry when Cthulhu cultists search for their god's bride who is a hooker that bares the birthmark destined to be Cthulhu's mate and bring about the end of the world. For this Riley is destined and only her boyfriend and his punk/industrial noise artist chick and roommate can put a stop to this. For a movie dealing with prostitution, alien gods, cult worship and Armageddon, the film has an innocent quality to it an has mostly a light tone. Although this movie was extremely cheap, the performances by the actors are actually good and the characters are developed well throughout the course of the film. The f/x are cheap and cheesy, but are practical at least. Plus this film is cheesy, but in a good way. Call Of Cthulhu is good for what it is. There are no shortage of horror movies based on the writings of HP Lovecraft, but I do like writer Jimmy George and director Chris Lamartino's take on the material. If you want to see a more serious adaptation of Lovecraft's works that has more of a budget to work with the I suggest to check out director Stuart Gordon's films. He made a lot of good films based on Lovecraft, some of them are great and absolute genre classics.

Ya, right...Lovecraft would have really dug this 'homage' being a secret T&A guy back in the day. He especially would have been surprised to see so many of his hidden meanings and dark texts rife with macabre images suddenly illuminated and realized as a bunch of naked women with all their attributes! As if that were not enough, the casting of non-pro actors would sublimate his troubled eldritch inner forces that would normally demand much better performers into a simmering rage at the unseen director of this nonsense. The usage of New England surnames familiar to us all seems unkind to those family members who may still exist in the dark tarns of the hidden blasted heaths and valleys therein. All in all very entertaining for those of us trapped deep below the surface of the Earth with the Old Ones!Yrs...Charles Dexter Ward and my new friend... Yog Sothoth -

Let me first start by saying that I created this account just so that I could come here and write about how bad this movie is.At first, you realize what the creators were trying to do with this movie; it was supposed to be a make-fun-of-itself kind of film. Something that you weren't supposed to take seriously. I get it. But it didn't come off this way at all. What I really took from this was "We identify that we suck at making movies, but we already wasted so much time and money so here is a bunch of garbage, do we get money and fame now?" The acting was bland and colorless. No one was memorable. The story was absolute rubbish and was akin to something that a third grader could write if given a box of crayons and a handful of paint. The directing was beyond ridiculous and you know what? I'm done writing this review. It's not worth my time. This movie was bad and the creators should feel bad. I would rather dump my testicles into a vat of molten acid than even suggest that anyone endure this poor excuse of a film.You know what's truly sad about it, though? The creators actually wasted REAL time and money on this trash. That's right, REAL time and money. Have fun working at McDonalds for the rest of your lives, idiots.1/10I would go lower, if IMDb would permit it.