Kill 'em All (2012)

Brilliant and touching

As Good As It Gets

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Set in Thailand. A number of martial artists/assassins are drugged by one means or another, then kidnapped and placed in a prison/gladiator building. The room where they wake up is where they get to fight to the death. That is, the eight of them fight until seven are dead, and perhaps one is alive. First a voice from outside the room introduces them and berates them one at a time. The voice sees to it that one of them is killed just to be able to say, 'obey or die.'There is a fatal encounter, then there is a box lunch session marked by stupid conversations, with the obligatory open mouthed sloppy eating. Then there is a second fatal encounter. The winners of the two fights get to choose weapons from a room off to the side.Then they are supposed to sleep. Right. After more fatalities, a few break out of the room and start exploring the building. There are more fighters from the 'cabal.' The protagonists have to deal with them before the boss.Lots of fighting. Some trash talking. Who cares.Does anyone get out alive? Do they defeat the boss?-----Scores-----Cinematography: 5/10 Footage from many crappy locations. Odd camera angles used to lessen one's enjoyment of the visuals. Visual quality is a bit better than VHS most of the time. Sometimes we view the movie from the CCTV view point of the observer who tells the fighters the rules. Wretched colour palettes.Sound: 4/10 Sound levels suck. If the sound is set to withstand the overly loud poor choices of music, then conversation cannot be heard.Acting: 0/10 Uniformly and completely absent. The people in the film look athletic, but are not actors in any sense.Screenplay: 0/10 Ridiculous fight choreography. Dialog that is beyond stupid.

The German cover of this movie boldly advertises:"Saw meets Battle Royale". That is pretty much all you need to know, because from there it is just cheesy acting, lack of story and a combination of fight scenes. It is hard to hate this movie, after all you know what you're in for if you know the studio which released it. It contains such dialogue gems like "Four are more than one.", gently reminding the audience of the first grade/kindergarden. The choreography/fight scenes were rather well executed.It gets 3 out of 10 because it really is a trash film, if you are however into those go check it out, you might have a good laugh ;).

Simple premise: 8 assassins wake up in a room and are ordered to kill each other or be killed.Okay, so with a story that has all the makings of a kick-arse B-flick, a beautiful woman for the boys to drool over and some skilled martial artists to boot, why not a higher score?Because:The two lead Americans are s-l-o-w, painfully so, and their fights scenes are horrible - it was as if their opponents had to stop and wait for the ensuing move to come.The fight choreography gave absolutely nothing new. Maybe this wouldn't have been a problem with more story and less action, but with fights constantly throughout the 90 minutes, watching this became repetitive.The villains' plan was absurd. "I'm a killer but I hate all other killers"? Seriously?Bad English. At first, I was thinking that the film was dubbed, and the voice over given by the female lead come the ending is hard to take.But it's not all bad - I've certainly seen worse - and it's true to what it claims to be: 90 minutes or so of full-on action.Oh, and the final fight is actually pretty cool... but with so many other decent M.A./action films out there, I'd have a hard job recommending this.

I was having high hopes for Kill'em all, but was left disappointed at the lack of creativity and enjoyment of this movie. it had what seemed to be an interesting plot, the idea behind it sounded cool and intriguing, but the delivery of that idea was below what is expected. the plot involves a group of highly professional assassins who got kidnapped and locked into a bunker together by a madman who forces them to play his game and fight each other to escape, for no clear reason, probably for his own sick entertainment. the fight scenes in the film were impressive to some extent, some well choreographed fight scenes that involve mainly martial arts, but they add nothing new to the hundreds of action films out there.the lead actress had some impressive moves and a cool sexy outfit, very delicious to look at.generally, the acting was just awful, very rigid and lame, those people seem like professional athletes, but just don't cut it as actors which really harmed this movie big time.the script and dialog was just as awful if not the worst i've ever seen in a movie, just awful writing, that nothing smart comes out of those actors, lame and boring dialog that i just screamed please shut up once a conversation starts !Add to that a lame villain that looks like an Asian version of Blofeld of the Bond films, minus the cat. a bold villain in a grey suit with some good fighting skills actually, he also have an army of psychopaths and ninjas that ultimately fight our heroes. " one might ask why don't he just use his ninjas to fight each other for entertainment ? "the effects were also below average when explosions were involved, something that can be made with a simple editing program on your laptop.so generally, a boring film for the most part, low grade B film with only some good fight scenes as its positive, otherwise,atrocious acting and an avoidable B film that adds nothing new or special out of all the hundreds of B action films out there.