Zombie Wars (2007)

How sad is this?

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

I've been working my way through the entire David A. Prior catalog over the past month. He's mostly famous for his action/exploitation films in the late 80s/early 90s. Zombie Wars was one of 2 films he made in 2007 after a 8 year hiatus. If you're reading this review just to get info on a zombie film you've never heard of then quit reading now. This film is primarily going to be of interest to David A. Prior fans and not zombie-movie fans. That said, it is a solid Prior movie and bears many of the hallmarks of his action films from decades earlier (gun play, pretty girls, dudes on a mission). Much has been toned down--stunt work is scaled back, big action scenes (e.g. firefights) are absent BUT there's still enough action to satisfy. Although this film contains some CGI it primarily utilizes practical FX which is refreshing. I have no complaints as it pertains to FX.Aside of the abject weirdness of the zombie plot, the script is actually pretty solid. Motivations are clear, things that are set-up in the script have pay-offs, the dialogue is good. Look, this isn't Citizen Kane...it's a direct-to-video B-movie capitalizing on the zombie trend in 2007.Like most Prior films from the 80s, the acting in this film ranges from good, to adequate, to bad. As in most Prior films, the leads do pretty well whereas the secondary players are all over the map. Prior (or his casting agent) actually had a pretty good eye for talent and often found leads that elevate his movies--this trait is certainly on display in Zombie Wars.I honestly had very low expectations for this film. I figured that given his long absence from directing that his return would be more akin to the poor schlock of that era as opposed to the GREAT schlock that he was so skilled at producing in the 80s & 90s. This isn't a "great" film by any definition--it's not even a "great" David A. Prior film--but it's a decent David A. Prior film and definitely watchable. RIP David A. Prior.

Set fifty years after a zombie epidemic, a group of soldiers learn that intelligent zombies have begun breeding humans for food. "They just came out of the ground..." Opening with some very bad effects of the earth it looks ambitious and bites off more than it can chew. It's simply a cheese feast. Although it has some heart felt voice over ala Alice Resident Evil narration the production tries to be larger than it is. It's low budget with awful acting. That said, there is only so much that the actors could have done with the script. If they'd hammed it up more and took more care with the editing and sound it may have it may have come off a whole lot better. Possibly and 80's comedy B-film homage. But its badly edited, awful swipes and transitions, poor sound and distracting piano music. It oddly borrows from The Planet of the Apes and one actor does his whole role as Jack Nicholson for no reason.To it's credit some of Diana Diaz and Justin Pine's special makeup effects are good.The effort is there but it's rushed and very slap dash. Not even the array of pretty faces can save Zombie Wars. It sadly does't qualify as bargain bucket material either.

OK, this movie stinks so bad I think not even the London sewers in the mid 19th century ever got to that level, and believe me brother, they stunk. But then again, it's so awfully bad that it actually might gain some fame as the worst zombie movie ever made. The script (if there ever was one) was obviously written by someone with not even the slightest idea of what zombies are all about. Their behavior, make up, movements, acting (some of the zombies can't hold their laughter while attacking) are of the worst in movie history. I think you see the same bald headed zombie guy being shot "dead" a dozen times all through the movie. Probably the only one they spent some money on to dress him up nicely, because all the other zombies looked like anyone of us with our face painted green and some dried up ketchup stains on our face. Also the fact the zombies on the farm eat 4 to 6 humans every day doesn't make too much sense, because there weren't even a dozen prisoners in the camp to begin with. One of the fighters has a series of piercings in his face, fifty years into the zombie war, the female slaves wear bras, etc etc... you could go on all night about how much this movie stinks, buuuuut..... It's so bad I'm just gonna have to show it to some of my friends. It reminded me of Plan Nine from out of Space: it's actually so bad and amateuristic I don't know if it was done on purpose. It's actually a pretty good laugh if you're in the right company. Just don't expect you'll be watching an actual zombie movie when you rent this. The 1/10 (awful) is well deserved, and it's only 80 and a few minutes long, so you wont waste too much time on it.

Reasons why this sh1t is retarded: 1.) The zombies are intelligent enough to run a farm for humans, and they can execute planned and organized attacks, but they haven't figured out how to use guns or other weapons.2.) The slave humans are raised in conditions where they never learn to even speak, yet the zombies were thoughtful enough to provide them with bra and pantie sets from Vicky Secrets.3.) The human anti-zombie defenses consist of a simple, waist-high gate... but no fence.4.) The "soldiers" guarding this awesome barrier can't tell the difference between a human and a zombie. Hmm, let's see, he's not rotting or even blood-stained, he's wearing our uniform and is carrying a gun, and he is a well-known soldier among the regiments. I know, let's shoot him in the head! 5.) The city of the "bad" humans who masterminded this whole zombie farm plot is populated by 5 old guys protected by a total of two soldiers (also guarding a gate with no fence). Actually, it was 4 old guys and some bewildered fat dude that looked like he was part of the camera crew, but they needed another extra.6.) The female "general" is not attractive by any stretch of imagination, which makes their attempts to sex her up all the more painful. Also, what kind of commanding officer constantly hugs her troops? 7... oh forget it, i don't even want to write anymore about this stupid, POS movie. It might be slightly enjoyable if you're high and have company to laugh at it with, and there's nothing else on at 3 am.