Stealing Candy (2003)

The Worst Film Ever

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

This film is a porno. Dress it up however you like, it will always be a porno. But its a porno with a sniff of a plot, and while it's about as far fetched as you can get, its still a fair effort. A trio of crooks need money, and to do this they decide to kidnap a Hollywood actress. She doesn't normally do sex scenes, so they film her doing one of them and post it on the internet as pay per view.Daniel Baldwin and Coolio excepted, the acting is frankly laughable. Jenya Lano and the other guy whose name I can't remember are poor to say the least. It's the two guys I mentioned before that turn this movie from "Oh God No" to "Meh, it's OK I guess". Just about worth a rent, so give it a shot if you must. If you're a porno person, this might actually be the jump you need to start watching real movies.

"Stealing Candy" is another modest budget crime thriller with a twist at the end. These twists are becoming so obligatory that it is about time one of these movies tried the unexpected and did not include a twist. That would truly be a shocking ending.Whatever budget they had for this did not translate into anything interesting from a production design perspective. A group of friends could have shot this one weekend at their homes. Technically it is a solid production although very little is attempted. The gun play looks realistic enough.Despite having talents as enormous as Pamela Anderson's, Jenya Lano is actually a very good actress. Her scenes in "Stealing Candy" are entertaining. Lano is my all time favorite "Xena" bad girl and now has a fairly regular part on "Charmed". Unfortunately she is only on screen for about a third of the movie. Daniel Baldwin, Coolio, and Alex McArthur seem very awkward with each other.Don't rush out to buy or rent this but it's an OK diversion.

three ex-cons (chubby nerd Danny Baldwin, untalented rapper Coolio, and "Kiss the Girl"'s Alex McArthur hatch a ridiculous scheme to kidnap b-movie starlet Candi (Jenya Leno, who frankly looked much hotter in her memorable guest spot on 'The Shield') Not a bad mover, per say, but the leaps in logic are just too much too sustain it. Furthermore shouldn't the movie be called "Stealing Candi" with an I instead of a Y?? C'mon now.Eye Candy: Jenya Leno shows her ample bosom twiceMy Grade: C+Where I saw it: Showtime

This wasn't a good movie, it wasn't a bad movie either. Definitely a rental. The concept of the movie was decent and I think it had a lot of potential. A couple of plot twists and a good looking girl like Jenya made it watchable. This could have been a great movie if it had a bigger budget and better stars.The premise of the movie is that three ex-cons kidnap a movie actress who has a "no nudity" clause in her contract, and persuade her to perform for the internet for some quick cash to be made for all three, only, you guessed it, something goes wrong.The award for best actor in the movie goes to Daniel Baldwin (purely coincidental, but I've seen a lot of his movies recently). He's the only character that had any depth put into it.I liked Jenya Lano and would like to see if she has some more range as an actress. She has appeared in S.W.A.T. and Blade but nothing else I have heard of. Hopefully, she'll put out some more meaningful movies in the future... And while I'm at it, I gotta say I love that name Jenya.Alex McArthur played the mastermind and did a mediocre job. No complaints, no compliments, just OK. It might have been fun to see Kelsey Grammer in this role in sort of a Sideshow Bob kind of way. It could have made it more interesting.Coolio, on the other hand, should get a Razzie. As far as rapper-actors go, he's on the bottom of that list, and the list itself is pretty much a bad list to be on anyways. Let's just say he's no LL Cool J. More than once he reminded me of a very unfunny Marlon Wayans and tried too hard to be the scary villain. He didn't succeed. Samuel L. Jackson seems a natural to play this part. Stick with what works. If anything, Coolio should have watched a Samuel L. Jackson movie to prepare. Typical rapper, they're all actors anyways but not many have any range past playing a thug. Enough said on that I suppose.Overall, the movie was another one in the middle of the road. I gave it a 6 out of 10 because I liked the idea of the movie and a few decent scenes but nothing more. Try to catch it on cable somewhere if possible.