The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)

Powerful

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

Lord of the G-Strings (2003) * 1/2 (out of 4) This being Seduction Cinema and featuring Misty Mundae you know you're in for some soft-core sex. This here is a spoof of the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy with Misty playing the Throbbit Dildo Saggins who is given the magical G-string from a drunken wizard. Dildo must then travel to a lesbian island to destroy the bad guys while along the way licking as many women as possible. I guess it's fair to say that the "story" really shouldn't matter in a film like this but while watching it I still couldn't help but have a flashback to my teenage years where my buddies and I would stay up late on Friday nights just to check out the latest soft-core flick on Cinemax. You know, looking back on those movies they actually look pretty good and especially when you compare them to the latest trend, which is low-budget movies shot quickly and with a mostly unknown cast. Mundae has become a cult favorite due in large part to her very much looking like the girl next door. In the day and age where every "porn" star has breast implants, tans and more fake parts than a Frankenstein monster, many people enjoy the natural looking Mundae. I must admit that she's quite cute and when she wants to she can also deliver a fine performance. The performance aspect is pretty much gone here but she does manage to have a couple good sex scenes including a sequence towards the end where the threesome eventually turns into a sevensome as more and more ladies join the fun. I will admit that most of the sex scenes get rather boring as the soft-core elements just aren't as strong as many other films out there and even for such a soft flick the scenes just seem too timid for their own good. The supporting cast features some familiar faces to those familiar with Seduction Cinema. As you'd expect, on a technical level everything is pretty bland here with some incredibly bad acting, silly costumes and some computer effects that appear to be left over from the era of the original Duck Hunt. Fans of THE LORD OF THE RINGS probably won't be impressed with any of the "jokes" here as they are pretty lame. So, with that in mind, the film's really just for Misty fans who must see everything she's done.

This was my introduction to the ever lovely, the captivating and totally enchanting Ms. Mundae. Seduction Cinema has quite a few of these erotic parodies, and most, fortunately for them, star the incredibly irresistible Misty Mundae. Production values are of the B-movie variety, (do people still really say B-movie anymore?), but once you get past that, it is very entertaining and erotic in a very down to earth kind of way. The best thing about any of these films is Misty, as she is able to carry off this witty, charming on-screen persona that just blows you away, time after time. She delivers most of the lines with tongue planted firmly in cheek, and metaphorically winks at the audience with every cheesy line and action she goes through....Misty Mundae is able to pull off something very few other actors could, and her commanding presence and on-screen charisma suck you in, and intrigue you in ways that endear you to her character and her portrayal, and simultaneously enable you to overlook the overall quality of the material, and whatever other shortcomings the film may have. Misty delivers a few one-liners that will make you ROFL if you are able to experience this film is the right spirit, and she along with this film, will inspire you to catch her other Seduction Cinema films, that I'm confident will surely delight on the basis of Misty's appeal alone. I enjoyed this film as well as Play-mate of the Apes, and her others strictly because of her beguiling, overwhelming and underrated talent as an actress. In the end, Lord of the G-Strings succeeds in part because it doesn't take itself too seriously, but mostly because it has the appeal of the "real deal", a true diamond in the rough, with the multi-talented, naturally beautiful and irresistible charming; Misty Mundae!

If you're looking for steamy soft core, this isn't it. It's an actual attempt at comedy, not something Seduction Cinema does well. I've seen several of their movies and this one is the worst so far. As a certified male pig, I was looking for a lot of nudity and as much of that as possible....what I got was a bad comedy and some television-style T&A. Avoid this one, and if you're a big Misty Mundae fan see SpiderBabe or Lust for Dracula instead. I give it a 2 only because Misty Mundae was her ever-amusing self in it.The comedy isn't mind-bogglingly awful, it's just bad. You will even chuckle at a few places, but overall you'll wish you saw something else. Think you're going to see a lot of g-strings? Think again.

(some plot content included, although there is no way to spoil this crap) Ok, here's the scene: Me and my friends are renting movies one night and we decide to rent this (thinking it would be funny, not a porn because of it's R rating). My, my, my, how we were wrong. There were probably 11 people total working on this movie. There are like 5 orcs in the whole movie, and they get killed and yet come back for the next scene. But the thing that had me tearing my hair out was the "comedy." Good lord! The jokes, if you can call them that, were so bad, oh so BAD. Seriously, it made me want to cry thinking that someone thought that some of these jokes would be funny. There was one part in the movie I thought was funny (I think at this point I would have found anything funny) was a scene where the bad wizard was killing Smirnoff the wizard by putting him under a blanket and then farting under the blanket. I believe he called it the "killer dutch oven." Another part an "orc" (which was a guy with blue make-up on) started p**sing on the "throbbits" that he was trying to catch. It was obvious that he would have seen them, but like the rest of this movie, it didn't make any sense at all. And despite what you may have read in other reviews, the girls in this movie are especially skankarific, and if you have any standards whatsoever with women, you would find MAYBE one remotely attractive. The dialogue is diabolical and the CG! I've never seen such crap. There were cut scenes to show where the throbbits were on their trek. The only thing was the AWFUL cg looked NOTHING like where they were. This movie is worth the rent to see just how bad this is! Another thing that absolutely baffles me is why this movie was made. It's not quite porn and it's the farthest thing from being a funny movie. Who provides funding for this crap? Only see this movie if you're looking for another reason not to live.