The Malibu Bikini Shop (1986)

Waste of time

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

The story-telling is good with flashbacks.The film is both funny and heartbreaking. You smile in a scene and get a soulcrushing revelation in the next.

I'll make an admission, a plot, such as the one for Bikini Shop, doesn't concern me as I'm fully aware that a story in such a film is merely an excuse to show lots of pretty beach girls running around in bikinis throughout. I recognize many viewers will disregard a film like Bikini Shop and for good reason because it doesn't have a whole lot to say and will not change your way of life. It doesn't testify of the human condition in a grand, sweeping scale.It's a movie about two brothers, polar opposites, one who has graduated from a Chicago business college while the other has been touring the country looking for his calling. One is neatly dressed, polite, and very smart. The other is a slob, without a doubt(..he's unkempt and his eating habits are much to be desired) charming, worldly, enthusiastic, and always trying to score. While I admire the one brother for his skills as a man who understands order and knows how to approach people with manners and some integrity, I also can embrace his brother for he wants to score with hot chicks and has the looks and charisma to do so. Like so many wonderful 80's comedies, it has babes, boobs, and a beach. How could I not find something with these attributes at least somewhat appealing? It's one of those movies which fulfill the fantasies so many of us guys share. We dream with picture perfect clarity, smiling widely, about the idea of running a bikini shop, with three mega-watt hot salesgirls, right along a beach, always surrounded by girls on every turn. Two brothers, Alan and Todd(Michael David Wright and Bruce Greenwood)are given possession of a faltering bikini shop from their aunt who passed away. Todd wishes to operate it(..and, I can understand his reasoning)while Alan hopes to sell it for a great price so he can move on to his marriage to an insufferable wench.The threat to this harmonious dream is a thoroughly loathsome only child who always gets what she wants from her rich father. Her name is Jane and she is Alan's fiancé. She's one of those types who insists on controlling her men, whether it's her boyfriend or father. She's perfectly portrayed by Debra Blee as the villain for you hate her upon seeing her. It takes a special skill to instantly repel without even opening your mouth, only to be even worse once you talk. When it came to casting Jane, the filmmakers did one hell of a job, because you can't even imagine how annoying this bitch is until you get a load of her for yourself. Her every grating moment on screen has you wondering what could possibly motivate Alan to get with her.I think The Bikini Shop will be of interest to those accustomed to seeing Bruce Greenwood as some authoritarian figure, because he's the brother, Todd, who is always chasing tail, throwing parties regardless of what Alan thinks, and coming up with ways to help sell merchandise just so he can get up, close, and personal with the beautiful clientèle..Todd's my kind of guy. I mean, seeing Greenwood as this exuberant kid, never wearing a shirt, with jean shorts, grinning ear to ear every time a chick passes by, it's kind of odd..I mean, seriously, this is the guy who portrayed JFK for Chrissakes! Michael David Wright is Alan, the more mature and level-headed brother who wishes, or so he thinks, to have a balanced life without hang-ups, but he's on the cusp of attaching himself to a leech who'll suck him dry. Ronnie(Barbara Horan who is major yummy)is one of three salesgirls working at the shop when Alan and Todd arrive to run the business..Cindy and Kathy(Galyn Görg and Ami Julius)are the other two, eventually used as models thanks to the genius of Todd who thinks they could sell their product better if it were shown to the customers on the bodies of lovely honeys. Ronnie has dreams of designing bikinis and becomes Alan's love interest, for he has fantasies of making out with her, only they are often interrupted by the tyrant ruining his potential future if she gets her grip into him. Frank Nelson is the brothers' agent, Remington, doggedly working to pursue someone willing to buy the bikini shop. The Aunt, Ida, had left the business strapped for cash due to her lavish lifestyle.I imagine that a film such as this will get lost in amongst the army of bikini sex comedies that had littered the theaters and home video during the 80's. But, I'm easy, and The Bikini Shop was perfect junk food for a late Saturday night. One thing's for certain, there's no shortage of babes in this flick. I'm as superficial as it gets when it comes to these movies.

You probably know what you are getting if you decide to see this one. It's another mid-80's teen sex comedy with a silly plot, bad acting, ridiculous situations, and gratuitous nudity. If you grew up during this era, the music and fashion will take you back. Two brothers inherit a bikini shop. Todd is the laid-back party dude who wants to keep the shop and let the good times roll. The other brother is a straight-laced finance major who just wants to sell it and get back to his career. Eventually they join forces to save the store and presumably grow old together in the Malibu sun. Some of the positives of this movie: I really felt like the characters were having fun, and it looked like it would be a nice place to hang out (and I already live in southwest Florida). Also, the simplistic story drew me in enough that I was happy for the business-minded brother when he finally dumped his sexist caricature of a finance and got with the sweet, gentle bikini sales girl. It's all very predictable and not really much to look at (nobody looks good with 80's hair), but as I said, if you enjoy movies like Private Resort, Revenge of the Nerds, and Porkys, you won't really care.

"Malibu" Bikini Shop is a Sex Comedy that manages to be neither comedic nor sexy. Well, maybe a little bit sexy. But the scenes of Barbara Horan in the hot tub are hardly worth enduring terrible music, embarrassing fashions (sadly, the bikinis are some of the biggest violators) a thin, implausible, wholly predictable plot, and characters that are all one dimensional caricatures. This isn't even a "so bad it's good" kind of bad. It's more of a "sixth graders write better than this" bad and "how the hell can a movie about girls wearing bikinis be so unenjoyably" bad. Imagine an Elvis movie and the depth of plot those had, only instead of Elvis you have a pair of B-cups thrown in every 18 minutes or so and you have a pretty good idea of what you're in for with Bikini shop.I realize this isn't exactly Masterpiece Theater, but if you want to see skin (which is why 99% of people would even consider watching this) it would be so much more efficient to just look at a Playboy or even an episode of Rock of Love. The girls in this movie, while young and fit, are saddled with horrendous wardrobes and situations. Visually, none of them really rate higher than about a 7 out of 10.If you're still reading this review, you may be a Trekkie interested in Bruce Greenwood's early work and you're on the fence about if it's worth the time. Be warned: are you prepared for Bruce in a belly shirt? I advise having your thumb locked and ready on the ff/scan button. Life is too short to waste watching trash like this, and when I write "trash," I don't mean in a morally reprehensible way. I mean in a lazy, lowest common denominator kind of way.Bonus points to anyone who figures out why "Malibu" is sometimes attached to this title when the movie hints that it takes place in Santa Monica.

The mind numbing dream sequences are so bad that it's hard to believe anyone can make it through them to watch what more of this movie lives on the other side. What is will surely disappoint. Bad acting, bad directing, and bad bikinis add up to a lousy bikini movie. If the dream sequences aren't the worst example of big screen directing, the film's final sequence is. In it, the snobby ex-fiancee is humiliated when her dress is torn off, revealing she wears a girdle, in front of her hardbody bikini clad replacement. Sounds almost funny, except the scene comes off about as funny, and looks more like, a mugging. Nothing to see hear folks..