Blood Lake (2014)

Very disappointing...

Great visuals, story delivers no surprises

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Just seen this movie on Pick TV channel.Well, I was entertained but just not in the way that was intended... Or was it?Honestly, everything about this movie is atrocious. Literally EVERYTHING.But despite that, I watched the whole thing. Why? Because I can only assume it was filmed on a shoestring budget and presumably without a script or any any idea about continuity or without considering if the cast could act - everyone could have a go at acting. Lovely. They even went to the trouble of hiring people with zero sense of balance as at every opportunity people would run up to water or places in general with the Lampreys in the vicinity and just fall over.Honestly I don't want to go into detail as it's not really worth the effort but if you like awful movies which waste an hour and a half of your life then this is worth a go.

Behold, we are the human race, and this is a movie about people getting eaten by fish. What we are is half ape half machine, fleshy automatons programmed by words and beliefs rather than computer code. Also, since this is a made for TV movie, there is no nudity. The good news is since it's a TV-14 movie, while no nudity is shown, sexuality and sensuality are on in full lurid display. Lamprey! It's a fish. Fishes are what we used to be before we walked out of the sea. The sea is what we used to be before we were fish. I do not eat fish often, but that's mainly because I live in a land locked place and any fish that comes our way was long ago shipped and frozen.

Yet another creature feature from Asylum, this time we see lampreys (eel like marine creatures) running amok in a lake and killing people. A heroic wildlife expert tries to stem the invasion, while at the same time tussling with a grumpy town mayor who doesn't want to scare away tourists. You can work out what happens yourself, I'm sure.The problem with this movie is that it thinks people will be so entertained by the concept of lampreys attacking that they will overlook a LOT of bad movie making. This is a mistake. Viewers do care about logic and common sense, but there's very little of that in Blood Lake... The attack style of the lampreys is maddeningly inconsistent. When a supporting character comes across a pack of them, the lampreys attack and kill in seconds. Yet anytime one of the main cast members is in peril, the lampreys just writhe around on the floor and give the actors plenty of chances to escape. Some examples: A woman is killed by lampreys invading her indoor pool, but while she dies instantly, the two main cast members - who are also fully in the water - are unscathed. A policeman turns up to help and he falls in the pool. And then he dies instantly! Later on Shannon Doherty and her daughter are searching a house. Shannon is suddenly trapped in the shower with the cubicle door closed (why?) and dozens of lampreys swarm the bathroom. The daughter and Shannon escape unharmed. Shannon's young son is on the beach and finds a couple of bodies of strong healthy adults who have died. The kid is about 10 years old and a bit shrimpy. Lampreys attack him and of course only one of them even manages to land a hit. The wildlife expert and his assistant enter a flooded home swarming with lampreys where other people have been killed in seconds. They each suffer one single lamprey bite each. Later still, the young son is trapped in a room with a single window that is just barely too high for him to reach. Although the room is chock full or chairs, desks, tables and so on, he never tries to use anything to climb up and reach the window. Meanwhile lampreys are busting out of pipes and ducts all over the ceiling and dropping on the floor. Not one of them manages to attack him. And most laughably of all, at the movies climax, two of the main characters have a "don't be a hero" argument in the middle of a sewer, full of the entire pack of squirming lampreys, which patiently wriggle around them, without making a single leap, so that the full dialogue can be played out in comfortable time. The on screen effect is so bad, it makes it appear as though the characters are surrounded by an invisible shield!At no time does there ever seem to be a real threat to the main cast, the film makes it glaringly obvious that they are all invincible. One additional moment of "heart stopping terror" is provided by scenes with people clutching onto or falling from a slightly wobbly ladder. Another great moment is the revelation that lamprey livers will provide the solution.Watching this movie will make you as bored of spotting these examples as I am of writing them down. The acting is not good either...especially the shrimpy son and the wailing daughter. Shannon Doherty and Jason Brooks do okay in the lead roles but it's a shame to see screen legend Christopher Lloyd stooping to such lows as this. All the lamprey effects are poorly conceived CGI, and none of the wounds on any of the actors look real. Films like this are like the new b-movies of the 1950s. They seem a lot glossier now, but in reality they are still as cheap and as rushed out as "The Giant Claw" and "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

Starring Shannen Doherty (Beverly Hills 90210), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future) and Jason Brooks (Days of Our Lives), Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys is directed by James Cullen Bressack (Hate Crime, Pernicious) and sees the cast battle lampreys – eel-like fish with huge teeth and funnel-shaped mouths – after they slide their way into the city's sewer system and start terrorizing the residents of a small Michigan town. Brooks plays Michael, a fish and wildlife expert who moves to the town with his wife, Cate (Doherty), after being summoned by the town mayor, Akerman (Lloyd), to help deal with its attacking fish problem. River Monsters star Jeremy Wade also makes a cameo. But with these blood-suckers on the loose, the town's residents quickly learn that a casual dip in the pool or routine trip to the toilet can turn deadly as the lampreys hunt for their next victim.