Cemetery Man (2010)

Strong and Moving!

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

The first half of this film is just so good that it had me smiling, laughing and virtually applauding, even sat on my settee. It looks fantastic, the cemetery is as you dream they might be, the dialogue is far better than would expect in this genre and it is very funny with a fantastic performance from Rupert Everett in surely his greatest. Oh and it also makes you jump, has crazy gore, lots of kills and is very, very sexy. So, nothing really goes wrong and the film remains very good but once the emphasis is less upon the confines of the cemetery and we go outside to become involved with the Major and the question of his re-election and the local yobs, it is just not quite as delirious. In fairness the delirium of the first 45 or so minutes probably couldn't be kept up and maybe one would wear of it anyway so I shouldn't be too hard. Great film!

What can you say about a movie that brilliantly intertwines zombies inexplicably rising from the dead in one particular cemetery, one misfit man who has the lonely mission to kill them and then goes insane doing it, and the mixture of horror and religious symbolism as only the Europeans can do it? The final scene of the movie has you questioning whether any of these people ever existed at all, even within the context of the film. In this last scene, Dellamorte (the cemetery man) decides to just drive away from the existence he has had up to now and start over somewhere else. However, when he leaves the tunnel that connects the town with the main highway he finds ... nothing. The world just ends as if you were on the set of "The Truman Show". You'll certainly never look at a snow globe the same way again.Did Dellamorte hallucinate the whole movie? Did the audience dream the whole movie? Are we all just characters in someone else's imagination? For you Buffy fans out there, you'll love the mixture of someone on a lonely thankless path to save the world and a tragically ended romance due to the protagonist's focus on his mission.

In Buffalora, Francesco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett) is the administrator of the local cemetery and he lives in a house by the cemetery with the intellectually disabled gravedigger Gnaghi (François Hadji-Lazaro) that is his only friend. The cemetery has a peculiarity since the dead reanimates on the seventh night after their death and Dellamorte and Gnaghi together hunt them down. When a gorgeous widow (Anna Falchi) attends the funeral of her old husband, Dellamorte falls in an unrequited love with her. One day, he shows the ossuary to her stimulating her sex drive, and they make love on the top of her husband's grave. However he awakes and bites her, and when she raises, Dellamorte shoots her. On the next days, Gnaghi falls in love with the mayor's daughter Valentina Scanarotti (Fabiana Formica) but she is beheaded in a motorcycle accident with her friend Claudio (Alessandro Zamattio). Along the next days, Dellamorte meets two women that looks alike his deceased love, but his romance ends tragically. He decides to leave Buffalora with Gnaghi, but their journey abruptly ends."Dellamorte Dellamore" is an unconventional, weird, funny and cult black comedy. The surrealistic plot has a great cinematography, direction and performances. Dellamorte is a detached character and Rupert Everett is excellent. Anna Falchi is very sexy and has an amazing body. Unfortunately the dubbing is terrible. My vote is seven.Title (Brazil): "Pelo Amor e Pela Morte" ("For the Love and for the Death")

The main problem with this thrown together piece of garbage is that it is merely a bunch of scenes where someone probably said 'Hey, you know what would be cool to see? X. Let's put X in it.' The film goes nowhere, makes no sense, and is pretty badly done. The special effects are also really bad, and not worth paying to see. (15% of their SFX budget was spent on fishing wire.) Reading these reviews here is like some kind of collegiate masters degree program in circle jerking. Everyone who is calling this some master work of art probably keeps their finger on the edge of their lip too much, nods their head, and speaks in a drowsy dismissive satirical upper class tone to everyone who disagrees so they won't be outed as the imbecile pseudo-intellectual sycophant they are. There is no plot to the movie, no coherency, and none of the ideas are followed to their logical conclusion or even exploited to retain the audience's interest; the script makes no sense and neither does most of the dialogue or events. The characters make no sense, and do not act in any consistent way. The police do not follow up leads, the idiot is or isn't actually smart, the hero is or isn't in love.. and the best friend we see twice is now a spree killer but only at the house the protagonist lit on fire to kill the 3 women the best friend actually killed during the fire? What? And this comes at the last third of the film? What? Who does that?Again their behavior is a result of an amateur writing with the 'You know what would be cool/funny?' or 'You know what all really good horror films have in common?' mindset, with no structure to the story at all. There is no continuity, and the only theme is it's set in a cemetery and one of the characters is a man. Otherwise, the film is nothing but an excuse to see the exquisite body of Anna Falchi(Anna Kristiina Palomaki) nude. And well, I can't argue there, that is the only reason this movie gets 3 stars from me, otherwise it is at best some first year art student's film project (hint; the student in question was majoring in booger sculpture, and not film). And this review contains no spoilers because nothing happens in the movie. This is a bad movie, and now only one of the only 3 I have ever walked out on. One being revenge of the nerds part 2, and some other film that was so bad I just went to another theater and forgot about it. It is really amazing to me though how peer pressure for 'horror aficionados' makes them all give great reviews for intrinsically bad movies just because they are horror films and they are fans circling the wagons or something. If you want to see a horror comedy Frankenhooker or Shaun of the Dead are better picks by astronomical leaps and bounds, and they actually have real stories, not a Tommy Wiseau type of after-the- fact reasoning that you are not looking deeply enough to discover the meaning. I won't because there is none. I don't dig through dog turds to discover meat scraps. The message of the movie is is this; if you are a name dropping director you know you probably have a good chance to sleep with the actresses you audition for movies so pick one you really like and write a terrible movie to cover it up. Final review; crappy movie + exquisite woman still can't save film. A horror comedy film where the best comedic acting was done by zombie boy scouts in 10 seconds is not that good.