The Dirty Dozen: Next Mission (1985)

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

Simple and well acted, it has tension enough to knot the stomach.

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

"OK, let's make a Dirty Dozen sequel". "Right - What happens in this one?""Well, since it's a sequel of a massively successful film, I reckon we're on to a winner so long as we do *exactly* what they did in the first film...."And thus was born this film. Aside from the reprised roles, almost every other character is a vague and pale imitation of their 1967 counterparts. The plot has feeble attempts to be different, such as inclusion of a 13th convict to make a "Baker's Dozen" (but he gets killed in a random act of rebellion - Oh, the drama). Lee Marvin especially is lumbered with pretty much the exact same dialogue from the first film and in fact his line delivery often seems tired and bored - It's as if this ain't the first time he's dragged a bunch of condemned military convicts out for a suicide mission... or the second... or the third... Marvin probably knew this was a complete BS movie, but did his best anyway. So too do Ernie Borgnine and Richard Jaeckel. The three seem like very old friends just going through the motions in an oft-encountered, unwinnable situation (perhaps because they are). I rarely fail to see a film through to the end, but I would have switched this off had it not been for this kinda cool early example of Ricco Ross's work. A consistently solid and dependable actor, he actually gets an interesting role here as a former Policeman (but still playing "Token Black soldier mkII" based on Jim Brown's 1967 Pvt Jefferson). Indeed, about the only other actors who stand any chance of carrying this film are Ricco Ross and Sonny Landham. Sonny shows that quiet inner strength that later becomes legendary as Billy in Predator. Ricco has a cool outward exterior, which belies the complex character beneath, later shining through as Pvt. Frost in Aliens. Notable also for featuring Gavan O'Herlihy, famous as the bearded warrior Airk Thaughbaer in Willow and Captain Leroy in Sharpe's Eagle.

I only watched this as it came as part of the set with the first classic film, and dear me, it stinks. It's a shame to see an actor of Lee Marvin's stature stoop so low for a few bucks. Everyone in it seems to be mugging to the camera as if to say, "hey we know it's rubbish but who cares? I know it was made for TV but such contempt for the audience does no-one any favours especially the reputations of once legendary screen figures. TV had started to come of age by the 80's and production executives had started to allow SOME level of quality, but then again, the lowest common denominator seems to rule on US networks. I hate to use such an obvious yardstick, but the fact that nothing of worth gets blown up shows us how cheap and nasty the whole thing was. The plot is utterly ridiculous, production values pathetic, and it's just abysmal from all points of view. I wish I'd never had to see it....avoid at all costs.

According to an article written many years ago, the original "The Dirty Dozen" novel was actually based on real life story. US military convicts were offered pardon in exchange for similar suicide missions in Nazi occupied France. They agreed, but after the drop they turned their tails and spent the rest of the war in neutral Spain. In real life, use of pardoned convicts as soldiers is rather common phenomena, as experiences in former Yugoslavia indicate. In WWII Red Army and Wehrmacht employed such practice. The operation that actually resembles this movie the most was conducted by Germans. In May of 1944, frustrated with unsuccessful attempts to chase down and destroy the core formations of Yugoslav Partisans, German High Command planned the daring parachute raid on the headquarters of Partisan leader Tito and trained entire battalion of convicts for that very purpose. At the end of the day, Tito, although initially surprised, managed to get away and the convict paratroopers, decimated in a hellatious battle, took only Tito's freshly tailored Field Marshall uniform as their only trophy.

This film is definitely more of a remake of the classic THE DIRTY DOZEN than a sequel. (Although the events here are said to take place in September 1944.) There's a lot of the same dialog as in the original movie and even the same type of characters! There's a Telly Savalas clone, a Jim Brown clone, a Charles Bronson clone, Marvin, Borgnine and Jaeckel reprise their original roles, and all three look about ready to drop dead on the set. At the time of filming, Marvin was about 60, Borgnine almosty 70 and Jaeckel is almost 60. All too old to be in combat operations.) You'll feel as though you're watching the same characters (meaning the 12, not the officers leading them) from the original, except played here by new actors. The mission is even similar: kill a Nazi general, rather than the many of the first movie. This time there is no character development and little training. (It's almost an hour shorter than the original film, too) The men land and trek across France, whining all the way, always about to rebel but turning to Marvin's widsom in the end. Same stuff as before. The climax was decent and I liked the action theme more than the music of the original movie.I'd watch this only to see how badly a movie can be remade / followed-up when a studio tries to make money. Here they failed miserably. I paid $.50 cents to watch this at a rental store. It's not worth much more if you've seen the original 1967 film.