L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach (1998)

Sorry, this movie sucks

Funny, strange, confrontational and subversive, this is one of the most interesting experiences you'll have at the cinema this year.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

The tone of this movie is interesting -- the stakes are both dramatic and high, but it's balanced with a lot of fun, tongue and cheek dialogue.

This is one of legendary auteur Andy Sidaris' later efforts, and the cracks are beginning to show in his formula.The women who are the centrepiece of his films used to be somewhat enhanced, but by this point, they are positively deformed. It is a wonder they can stand up, let alone perform. The standard Sidaris squib shootout in the woods becomes even less believable than usual when your leading ladies can no longer hide behind a tree without something sticking out.The early pacing in the film is slow, and if you've been watching Andy's films in order, the action set-pieces look recycled.The female leads in this effort make you realise that previous Sidaris muses Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton and Roberta Vasquez, while not actually great actors, brought a ton more enthusiasm, effort and fun to their parts than the cast of 'Return to Savage Beach'. Julie Strain, in particular, recites her lines as if she'd rather be anywhere else.However, their male beefcake counterparts are dull enough to make the women look vaguely competent.The upsides? Gerald Okamura has fun with his brief screen time and Sidaris regular Rodrigo Obregon is very enjoyable, even channelling a bit of Gomez Addams when he dances with Carrie Westcott's character/breasts. So, not primo triple-G entertainment. You can find more enjoyment in earlier works like 'Hard Ticket', 'Do or Die' or a few others from this director. They have essentially the same ingredients, but are just better cooked.

There is only one reason to watch an Andy Sidaris movie. The women. As action movies they are seriously lacking, as T&A flicks they're pretty outstanding. Somehow Sidaris managed to get a bevy of gorgeous buxom Penthouse/Playboy babes to star in his films. Without the girls his movies would be borderline unbearable. But fortunately we will never have to put this hypothetical theory to the test, as all of Sidaris's action flicks follow the same formula of kick-ass chicks in stories involving lots of bullets and lots of boobs.I suppose there was a plot to this one. It was something to do with a stolen floppy disk. But you really don't need to know about that. The important thing to report is that this one stars Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks. A more pneumatically sexy duo of women you will be hard pressed to see in one movie. If there was only one thing that Sidaris should be remembered for it would be in getting the lovely Shae Marks to appear in a couple of his movies and keep on removing her clothes at regular intervals.Alongside Day of the Warrior, Return to Savage Beach is probably Sidaris's best film.

This (and ALL Sidaris movies) are just soft core porn. PERIOD. End of sentence. Terrible on every other level. At least he goes to the trouble to recruit world class eye candy, but don't expect ANYTHING else. Since I have to fill in more comments, I will do it in in tribute to this borderline porn. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. and...... Big boobs.

Where to begin, poor acting by playboy playmate models and assorted cast can be overlooked when there is massive amounts of breasts and asses to go around.The thing about it is, why is Marcus "Buff" Bagwell here, and more importantly how lucky can he be? the movie sucked in terms of quality but if you want hilarious fun and lots of eye candy then watch it. I know I did :-)Buff.....daddy! He should be in the movie more because he can act twice as good as the other guys involved in this piece of crap. The guy who played Tyler is THE WORST actor I have ever seen.The highlight of the movie is 2 of the playmates go after the terrorists....who happen to be 2 white guys with uzi's...and with hand pistols they manage to blow up the boat with the "terrorists" on it, and Julie Strain goes "Oh boy they got the terrorists" and this other clown goes "Yeah but the boat's toast"6 out of 10 because I'm a straight man, otherwise it would have been 2 out of 10