The Dallas Connection (1994)

Strong and Moving!

Highly Overrated But Still Good

For all the hype it got I was expecting a lot more!

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

The Dallas Connection is one of the later films from Andy Sidaris. Well, strictly speaking, this one was actually directed by his son Drew and produced by Andy. But you would be doing better than me if you noticed any difference because no matter who directed this one, it's exactly the same as all the others that go under the Sidaris name. Like the rest, this one is an action flick that relies very heavily on beautiful large breasted women who lose their clothes on a regular basis. Without the ladies, most of Sidaris films would be hopeless and this one is no exception.Its story really isn't worth describing, except to say that it revolves around a trio of professional female killers called Black Widow, Cobra and Scorpion. These femme fatales are played by Julie Strain, Julie K. Smith and Wendy Hamilton. Fortunately, all of them disrobe frequently to frolic about in, amongst other places the shower and a strip club. Julie Strain seduces a restrained man in dominatrix PVC gear in a standout moment but best of all is the truly mesmerizingly sexy Julie K. Smith frolicking around in a hot tub with some lucky 'victim'. Its soft-core erotica basically but with a very high calibre of eye candy. Aside from this the plot-line plods along in an uninspired way, although there are some agreeably stupid moments like death by exploding golf ball and the ludicrous blow-up doll scene. My advice would be to watch it for the ladies and tolerate the rest.

Howsabout this for dumb plot: a group of sexy female killers-for-hire (code-names Black Widow, Cobra and Scorpion) bump off several scientists, and are then given the task of getting hold of four computer chips that, when combined, can control a satellite with the power to pinpoint the exact locations of all of the world's weapons; it's a mission that might prove impossible to complete were the chips sensibly locked away in a high security vault, but instead each is hidden inside a medallion and worn out-and-about by government agents, making life a whole lot easier for the big-breasted assassins.With such a laughable set-up and very little in the way of decent (non-sex related) action, The Dallas Connection is easily one of the weaker films in my Sidaris 'Girls, Guns & G-Strings' box set, but even though the film's writer/director Drew Sidaris possesses even less talent than his father Andy when it comes to telling a decent story, he's a chip off the old block when it comes to hot women, The Dallas Connection featuring some of the most physically impressive ladies of the whole series.Leggy Julie Strain is back once again, as head assassin Black Widow, wearing her usual assortment of bondage themed outfits and skirts that fail to reach as far as her stocking tops; assisting her is blonde Julie K. Smith (as Cobra), owner of the film's most impressive chest, and scorching brunette Wendy Hamilton (as Scorpion) who really knows how to work the wet suit and thigh-high PVC boots look. Working for the good-guys, we get silicone-chested Sam Phillips as Samantha Maxx, one of the agents tasked with wearing a medallion. All the ladies get nekkid at some point or other to get it one with the film's assorted hunks, making this one just about worth a watch despite the dreadful story, diabolical acting and dull direction.

Spoilers. I have a complaint about these Andy Sidaris films, that has nothing to do with things like low budgets or hiring ex- porn stars as actors (pretty meaningless complaints to me). I mentioned this about the Sidaris film "Seven", but they always seem to end the same way (the three or so that I've seen)- the "villainess" is always shot or blown up by the "heroine". Which sounds understandable, but it's often done in a way that looks pretty forced, as though it's the ONLY way it could be done, as opposed to say, the male hero doing this to the villainess. This has been done in so many other stories, too, that it's a real adventure story cliché, even though I never seem to see it made fun of as one, even in the "Austin Powers" type comedies. This one also uses, loosely, the "Pussy Galore" idea (another cliché, of course, good or bad), because the two "evil" women end up being on the side of the good guys (only pretending to try to kill the two men), then killing the woman they pretended to work for. I just think a better thing would have been for the "Scorpion" and "Cobra" characters to really BE killers, to really try to kill the two men (during those over-the-top seduction scenes) and to have a big "showdown" scene with the men themselves. That would have been "over-the-top" in a more unusual way, almost like something out of some of those "Destroyer" books. It might sound strange to half-way "analyze" Andy Sidaris movies, but again, they rehash some ideas the same way other movies do. And that's just it - there's almost no mistake low-budget action films make that big budget ones don't ALSO make.

The usual action flesh fantasy for male viewers, this Sidaris flick is not as good as a few others, but the girls looks great (there is my favorite Playmate, Wendy Hamilton, that doesn't show as much as I hope, but it's still a threat; there is also Julie Strain's Black Widow, with an opening scene Basic Instinct style that it's really good) and the action is good enough to let the 90 minutes of the movie pass without any boring moment. The plot is contrived, but it's part of the show: for a Sidaris movie it's a good enough one