The Hoarder (2015)

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Sorry, this movie sucks

Great Film overall

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

I viewed this film. BUT, it is called Bunker. Why would it be under a different name? Too many films named with word "bunker"? I found the film very slow, and seemingly done by a first time director, just getting his or her feet wet. The basic idea was OK, but not well directed. When the girlfriend was grabbed, the attacker was portrayed biting her neck, eating her, there was much blood. But later, the "animal" was revealed to have a stapled mouth. Just one of many mistakes.

"The Hoarder" is a smart horror film that gets A+ across the board; set design, plot, dialogue, and acting are all first class. Ella (Mischa Barton) and her edgy friend want to snoop in her fiancee's storage locker as she suspects him of cheating. The facility is attractive, modern, and well managed compelling the audience to embrace the movie then recoil in horror as the normality takes a horrible twist, a technique perfected by the master of suspense, Alfred Hitchcock, who directed movies such as "The Birds" and "Marnie. This is the best story line for any movie genre written in decades and casts a poor light on the 4.5 rating on the IMDb website.

Original and cool premise overshadowed by bad acting, tedious writing and an irritating and non believable villain. Let me get this out of the way; when you hate a villain in a movie, it's usually a compliment to the actor's performance. NOT IN THIS CASE. The villain is an out of shape, bumbling fool. Clumsily running around out of breath and over-powering everyone around him. At first it's a bit tolerable (albeit humorous) and you think to yourself "God I can't wait to see this guy get what's coming to him" but it never happens. The lead characters are inept, one even decides to take a break and shoot up drugs (to relax) in the midst of all the killing. It's a complete joke that wears thin and becomes boring and frustrating. I honestly can't recall ANY movie with characters as intellectually challenged as these individuals. Then there's the ending in which the stupidity of the lead actress (Mischa Barton) reaches an all time frustrating high. If you do reach the ending, please take note and REMOVE ANY THROWABLE OBJECT FROM THE ROOM as you may damage your TV. There is no resolve to the stupidity, the fat and out of shape villain smirks and lives to see another day, and just when you think you've seen the the lead character hit an all time low in I.Q., she's topped only by her awful fiancé who can't see past the thick layer of "smarm" on the bridge of his nose. Do yourself a favor and skip this.

We're closing in on Halloween, which means every horror director on the planet is doing everything they can to get their, more than likely, terrible film ready for release. Which also means that every bad actor and actress on the same planet, is doing what he/she has to do to land a role in one of these, more than likely terrible films (Hello, Mischa Barton.) So, we have 'The Hoarder.' About a group of strangers trapped in a storage facility. This has been done numerous times before, and never really reaches it's full potential, because every director tries to do too much with such simple material. 'Storage 24' is one of the more recent attempts, which I have yet to rate/review. Let me just say, I'd probably go with that one over 'The Hoarder.' What really hurts this film, is the characters and acting. There isn't a single likable character in the film, and each actor/actress seems to be hell bent on showing us just how terrible they really can be. I'm reading reviews about how unbelievably bad Mischa Barton has become - and the first thought that pops into my head is, when has she ever been good? Did I miss the single moment in the history of cinema, where she wasn't bad?As for the rest of the cast - Jamie Bacon goes all out trying to make a name for himself, by being the worst actor in the film, while Andrew Buckley waddles around, chasing people at a pace that is probably equivalent to a crippled man in a wheel chair. Anything this film had going for it, up until you discover the 'twist,' is erased, when you realize you're going to see more of Andrew Buckley's blubber flapping around, as he struggles to capture his next victim.Random Ramblings of a Madman: Andrew Buckley, please, for the love of Jesus Christ - do not ever run again in a film or in public. I hate being the one to tell you this, but you're fat - and you can't act.