One Million Years B.C. (1967)

I love this movie so much

Wow, this is a REALLY bad movie!

Perfect cast and a good story

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

Gotta love Ray Harryhausen's animated dinosaurs, although I was disappointed that the first one shown is just a blown up lizard. The other major attraction is Raquel. The instant she's on screen, the reaction is Holy Moly!! I was all of 11 when I first saw this movie, and I truly believe she helped bring about the onset of puberty. Whatta body! I watched it again last night, and I appreciate how she looked as much as ever. Goofy, unscientific caveman fun.

Like many people, I really only knew about this film because of the leading actress and her iconic look, but I was also up for seeing humans and dinosaurs living together, from Hammer Studios, directed by Don Chaffrey (Jason and the Argonauts, Pete's Dragon). Basically caveman Tumak (John Richardson) has been expelled from the Rock Tribe, after fighting with their leader Akhoba (James Bond's Robert Brown), also his father. After days of wandering the wilderness, Tumak stumbles upon the Shell Tribe, specifically the several female members, living on the coast, he is in a bad condition from his ordeal, he is nursed back to health by the chief's daughter Loana (Raquel Welch). Loana's betrothed Payto (William Lyon Brown) becomes increasingly jealous of this, and eventually the two men get into a major fight, Tumak is expelled following it, however Loana decides to join him as he travels back to his people. Loana teaches the Rock Tribe how to be civil, while Tumak was away Akhoba was severely injured, so he becomes the new leader, this does not sit well with his brother Sakana (Percy Herbert), who plans to overthrow him. While this storyline is going on, the Homo sapiens are surrounded by many dinosaurs and other large prehistoric creatures, some of which they encounter and battle with, including Brontosaur (herbivore), Archelon (a giant prehistoric turtle), Allosaur (carnivore), Triceratops, Ceratosaur (carnivore), Pterodactyl and its hatchlings and Rhamphorhynchus (carnivore). Also starring Thunderball's Martine Beswick as Nupondi, Jean Wladon as Ahot, Lisa Thomas as Sura, Malya Nappi as Tohana and Richard James as Young Rock Man. Welch is the big draw of this film, she is a beautiful woman with a stunning physique, sporting a furry bikini, she has no dialogue, only a number of grunts, no wonder she became a poster pinup with her iconic image (the poster famously appears in The Shawshank Redemption). The film has only a little bit of a storyline going on, you sort of ignore and concentrate more on Welch, but there are some good sequences of the cavemen fighting against dinosaurs, brought to life by the stop- motion animation of the brilliant Ray Harryhausen, as an overall film it's a reasonable prehistoric adventure. Raquel Welch was number 40 on The 100 Greatest Sex Symbols, and the film was number 86 on The 100 Greatest Sexy Moments. Worth watching!

I saw the original film "One Million B.C." less than a year ago so I still remember the story line pretty well. This remake is just about the exact same one down to the character names and situations, but with the benefit of Ray Harryhausen's dinosaur creations that appear quite an improvement over other prehistoric monster tales from the Fifties and early Sixties. Even his giant lizard has a scale to it that makes it an improvement over say, "The Giant Gila Monster" from 1959 which looked rather ordinary most of the time.And then there's Raquel Welch. Ah yes, looking divine in that bearskin bikini; the poster that graced the walls of thousands of male teenage bedroom walls a decade before Farrah Fawcett took over when she hit it big with "Charlie's Angels". I had to do a double take here though since I'm not used to seeing her as a blonde. Not bad but I'll take the natural auburn hair.All the expected dinosaurs make their appearance here - a brontosaurus, your requisite triceratops versus tyrannosaurus battle, and a pterodactyl that swoops away with cave girl Loana (Welch) in tow. I wondered how she was going to get out of that scrape but needn't have worried. No way was Raquel going to become dinosaur fodder, even if the pterodactyl nestlings were hungry.Well I can take these cave man/cave girl flicks in small doses so I've had my fill again for the time being. However if your tastes lie in this direction I would direct you to the aforementioned "One Million B.C", along with other luminaries of the genre like 1970's "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth", and a personal favorite of mine if only because of the title, 1958's "The Wild Women of Wongo".

"People did not live in the days of the dinosaurs. You must realise that the picture is being made for entertainment, not for professors…. I think one has to accept that licence with an 'entertainment picture', because it's not supposed to be a documentary," declared Ray Harryhausen. Before this film, dinosaurs in movies were created by shooting lizards in close-up, with extra body-bits glued onto them to create the desired effect. Here, Harryhausen uses his considerable talent as a stop-motion animator to create numerous monsters of the past, including an allosaurus, brontosaurus, ceratosaurus, triceratops and pterodactyl.One Million Years B.C follows the adventures of a caveman named Tumak (John Richardson). The son of a tribe leader, he is banished from his tribe following a fight with his father over a piece of meat. He wanders alone into the wilderness and encounters various strange creatures, before eventually stumbling across a more advanced tribe who have developed things like music, painting, jewellery-making and agriculture. He is welcomed by these new people and lives among them, quickly catching the eye of a cavegirl named Loana (Raquel Welch). Meanwhile back at Tumak's birth tribe, his father is overthrown as leader by the ruthless Sakana (Percy Herbert), Tumak's treacherous brother. Tumak is forced to leave his new tribe after attempting to steal a spear, and is joined on his wanderings by Loana (who has fallen in love with him). They have various adventures before eventually making it back to Tumak's native home. Upon discovering what has happened during his absence, Tumak challenges his brother for leadership of the tribe. The final battle is interrupted by a massive volcanic eruption which wipes out many of the people in its path.The film is the best of the series, helped along by a solid performance from Richardson as the adventurous caveman and Harryhausen's sterling work in the effects department. Welch is on hand to provide the 'eye- candy' while Martine Beswick provides extra sex appeal as an animalistic girl from Tumak's tribe. Also worthy of note is the score by Mario Nascimbene, a beautiful blend of siren-like wailing and clashing cymbals, reminiscent of the operatic music of the spaghetti westerns. It's probably the best score of the entire prehistoric series. On a more negative note, One Million Years B.C. is the ugliest of the films at a photographic level. Despite promising Canary Islands locations, there is something unattractive about the cinematography and the film's poor use of colour. The story structure also becomes a little wearisome towards the end; an endless cycle of walking around – dinosaur attack – walking around – dinosaur attack – walking around – dinosaur attack. Overall, though, this is a good film with enough going for it to make its weaknesses forgivable. Is it the best film Hammer made? No… but it is a lot of fun, and Harryhausen's contributions alone make it worthwhile. We all know it's bogus as history and repetitive as a story, but One Million Years B.C. works well as what it was intended - that is: wild, sexy, adventure-filled entertainment.