You Can't Win 'Em All (1970)

People are voting emotionally.

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL is an unusual American adventure film with a European feel. The story is heavily indebted to the usual spaghetti westerns made during the era, with a couple of ne'er-do-well characters getting caught up in a good cause and gradually realising that more is at stake than making money. This time around, the characters have to guard a gold shipment from various renegade factions, leading to plenty of stock action scenes and gung-ho adventure staples.The film wins plaudits for casting a couple of decent actors as the leads; there's Charles Bronson, acting all tough and stoic as usual, while Tony Curtis in contrast brings plenty of laid-back charm to his character role. The supporting cast is largely made up of ethnic Turks, although eagle-eyed viewers may spot CAPTAIN KRONOS himself, Horst Janson, in a minor role. YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL is a relatively fast paced and action-packed adventure film, but I felt oddly unconnected to it throughout, like I didn't really give two hoots about what was going on; it's not one I enjoyed.

You Can't Win 'Em All (AKA: Soldiers of Fortune/The Dubious Patriots) is directed by Peter Collinson and written by Leo Gordon. It stars Tony Curtis, Charles Bronson, Michele Mercier, Fikret Hakan, Leo Gordon and Salih Guney. Music is by Bert Kaempfert and cinematography by Kenneth Higgins.1922 and the Greco-Turkish War is coming to a close, and two soldiers of fortune meet and find themselves on a deadly mission that will either make them rich, get them killed or something else entirely…Marauding machismo under the burning Turkey sun, You Can't Win 'Em All is good on intentions and two fisted action quotas. That the script is poor is a shame, because although it's hardly grade "A" as an actioner, it is a whole bunch of fun and Curtis and Bronson are great company to be in.Collinson constructs the action in a competent manner as he fills out the plot with gunfire, explosions, barroom brawls, biplane attacks, speeding train, foxy women and a picturesque location. Bronson gets to flex his muscles while Curtis deals out the quips, and the narrative has the two men spun into a world of double crosses, bluffs and dubious motives. Their chemistry is solid, they make for a good buddy-buddy pairing.Weak on the page for sure, but enough guts, gusto and grins to ensure it's worth spending the time with. 6.5/10

Another reviewer has called this "better than it had to be", which I think is right on the money. This is not a history lesson, nor is Shakespeare, but it uses an obscure period of history to tell an adventure story without insulting anyone's intelligence.It is a remake of "Vera Cruz", the 1952 Western with Gary Cooper and Burt Lancaster. Except Curtis' character is much wittier than Cooper's, and Bronson's character is not a psychopath. Both changes make it easier to watch, although not as dramatic. Both movies have anachronisms, but I think many of the anachronisms in "You can't Win 'em All" are sardonically recognized.There are easy parallels between the chaos of 1867 Mexico and 1922 Turkey. In both there were uncertain loyalties at the end of an Imperial rule and a major conflict had ended nearby, leaving a pool of unemployed killers. In both a nationalistic regime replaced the Old Order, and neither Juarez nor Attaturk were choirboys. But the movie is neither history lesson nor moral polemic, just a cheerful adventure story.

This is a competent adventure movie pairing, of all people, Tony Curtis and Charles Bronson. It's setting is an obscure one for Americans: Turkey in its days of revolutionary war following the defeat and collapse of the Ottoman Dynasty in World War I. Bronson and his band of mercs have tommy guns but don't get to use them as much as you might expect. On no best-of list, but this movie is a bit better than it had to be, and worth a look.