Once Upon a Texas Train (1988)

Memorable, crazy movie

it is finally so absorbing because it plays like a lyrical road odyssey that’s also a detective story.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.

"The Train Robbers" writer & director Burt Kennedy is responsible for a couple of classic westerns, but his rugged looking made-for-television oater "Once Upon A Texas Train" is no classic. Okay, Kennedy hasn't lost his knack for writing catchy dialogue and there are several helping of quotable dialogue, but this sagebrusher is strictly a second-rate saga that not even his all-star oldster cast cannot salvage. Willie Nelson is cast as convicted train robber John Henry Lee and Richard Widmark plays opposite him as Texas Ranger Captain Owen Hayes. John Henry Lee receives a pardon twenty years after he tried to rob the eponymous Texas train and he has spent those twenty years figuring out where his gang and he took the wrong turn. Kennedy opens this western with long shots of the Texas train pulling into a depot where a brief gunfight ensues as John Henry and his men surrender. Although "Once Upon A Texas" starts out well, this 96-minute melodrama ends inconclusively. Kennedy leaves it wide open as to what course of action that John Henry will take. Aside from the leathery tough dialogue that intertwines metaphors with philosophy, there is little to look forward to in his western. Indeed, it is great to see old timers like Chuck Connors, Jack Elam, Ken Curtis, Dub Taylor, Stuart Whitman, Royal Dano, and Hank Worden in another dustraiser. The western town exteriors in Mescal, Arizona, and location shooting around Old Tucson give this western a rugged look that lenser Ken Lamkin of "Big Bad John" gives it.After Captain Hayes arrests John Henry Lee and sends him to prison, "Once Upon A Texas Train" leaps forward twenty years into the future. John Henry Lee (a long-haired Willie Nelson of "The Electric Cowboy") leaves prison and catches a ride in a wagon driven by his brother Charlie Lee (Dub Taylor of "Bandolero!") and they head off to Del Rio. No sooner do they reach Del Rio than John Henry blows the front off the local bank and skedaddles with $20-thousand in two sacks. Naturally, Captain Hayes (Richard Widmark of "The Law and Jake Wade") is furious because he thought that John Henry would go straight. Hayes recruits a posse of his old time pals, among them ace tracker Jason Fitch (Jack Elam of "Support Your Local Gunfighter"), Nash Crawford (Chuck Connors of "The Deserter"), and George Asque (Stuart Whitman of "Rio Conchos"), to ride with him. Meanwhile, John Henry has assembled several hombres, among them Kelly Sutton (Ken Curtis of "Gunsmoke"), explosives expert Nitro Jones (Royal Dano of "Gunpoint"), and Fargo Parker (Gene Evans of "The Steel Helmet") to help him rob the Texas train. John Henry is confident that everything will work out until he learns that the Texas Train is no longer trundling down the railroad that he remembered from yesteryear.A gang of young guns led by Cotton (Shaun Cassidy) get the drop on John Henry and company and disarm them and take them prisoner. They escort the old bad guys to a ghost town where Captain Hayes catches up with them and a brief gunfight erupts. Secretly, John Henry has a stick of dynamite that he threatens to heave into a burning stove if Cotton doesn't let them go. Reluctantly, Cotton and his gunmen surrender their guns and John Henry and company cross the street and meet Hayes and his guns. The next day our heroes deposit the arsenal of firearms that belonged to Cotton and his cronies and they have a showdown in the street in broad daylight. Of course, nobody dies. They are wounded. Nash is a bullet in the arm and John Henry helps Hayes arrest Cotton and company. Afterward, Nash offers Hayes a proposition. Nash believes if they let John Henry return the gold to the Del Rio Bank, the town citizens will let John Henry and company leave. Hayes observes that Canada is pretty this time of year before John Henry rides out."Young Billy Young" actress Angie Dickinson has a cameo as the wife of Captain Hayes who was briefly infatuated with John Henry. They reunite momentarily at a stage coach relay station where Hayes decides to let John Henry go. As the heroic villains are riding away, they hear the sounds of a nearby locomotive and the words "Texas train" slips from John Henry's lips. At this point, the end credits roll and we never know if John Henry will realize his life-long dream of robbing a Texas train. This unknown ending mars "Once Upon A Texas Train."

With that old familiar call to arms code word 'Brazos!', the Over the Hill Gang rides again in this late Eighties made for TV flick that fans of classic Westerns will be glad to catch for one last roundup. The story itself is probably secondary to seeing familiar favorites like Jack Elam, Royal Dano, Gene Evans and Dub Taylor all in one place. Maybe the biggest shocker for me was seeing how much the old Rifleman himself, Chuck Connors, had aged in appearance from his TV star days, but after all, he was sixty seven or so at the time of the picture. It got me to thinking how any of these guys might still be able to stay on a horse. All of the principals except Willie Nelson were in their sixties or seventies, with Dub Taylor around eighty one. Hard to imagine him riding the range as Cannonball Taylor as far back as the 1940's with the likes of Wild Bill Elliott, Jimmy Wakely and the Durango Kid.The picture is built around crusty villain John Henry Lee, portrayed by Willie Nelson, who's first thought after getting out of prison after twenty years is to go and rob a bank with his old pardners. Hot on his trail is Richard Widmark's Captain Owen Hayes, harboring a personal grudge against his foe. That's where Angie Dickinson comes in as Mrs. Hayes, who in earlier times might have gone the other way with the red headed stranger.The idea of Shaun Cassidy heading up a young passel of outlaws to go up against the old timers seemed a bit awkward. Even when they had the upper hand, you always had the idea that these guys were in way over their heads. Wouldn't it have been something if in the final showdown, the old geezers simply put the upstarts over their knees for a good old spanking?Like I said earlier, catch this one for a bit of TV Western nostalgia. It's got generous amounts of humor mixed in with the shoot 'em up action, and fans of the players will appreciate that last ride into the sunset.

Director Burt Kennedy took the same foursome of Texas Rangers from the Over The Hill Gang of 1969 and now has given them a new quest. Captain Richard Widmark is on the trail of Willie Nelson, an old war buddy from the Confederate Army and now a bank robber, who's back to his old tricks again. Only this time some young guns led by former teen bubble gum idol Shaun Cassidy have stolen the loot that Nelson and his gang had stolen from the gang in Del Rio.Widmark and his cronies, Chuck Connors, Jack Elam, and Stuart Whitman turn out to have a lot more in common with the old outlaws, Nelson, Dub Taylor, Ken Curtis, Royal Dano, and Gene Evans than they think.This group of old character actors were what made the movies so enjoyable back then. They had faces and identities you couldn't miss. We should all thank Burt Kennedy for assembling this whole crew for a last roundup.As Willie Nelson says they may be old, but they are professionals and that's what counts when the chips are down.There's a romantic subplot here. Widmark has always suspected his wife Angie Dickinson of having a yen for Nelson back in the day. That's a good deal of the reason he's pursuing Nelson with such vehemence.It's a treat to see all these old timers again and the film is worth seeing just to see Jack Elam trade in his horse for a bicycle to keep up with the times.

A pleasant, tongue-planted-firmly-in-cheek western (with that Burt Kennedy touch) that gives up yet another adventure with some wonderful characters that were first introduced almost 20 years earlier. I speak of the ABC Movie-of-the-Week films "The Over-the-Hill Gang" and "The Over-the-Hill Gang Rides Again" (which was Fred Astaire's TV-film debut and ONLY western film--ever!) The character of Richard Widmark was earlier played by Pat O'Brien in the first film, with Chuck Connors taking over Walter Brennan's part and Jack Elam here "filling" in for Edgar Buchanan. Those earlier films (from 1969 & 1970 respectively) were light yet entertaining and this film does not fail in that genre. Some might argue that many of the actors are in their "golden years"--and that's to the viewer's advantage as you will soon realize that with age certainly comes style. Sit back, enjoy and find a smile creeping across your face as you discover that there ARE films out there that are made "like they used to be"!