Hell Squad (1985)

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

"Hell squad hell squad we're the best, don't ever put us to the test. We're a helluva of a fighting machine, we are tough and goddamn mean. The hell squad girls gotta lot of sass, if you mess with us we'll kick your ass." Uh, sure anytime. You can actually start anywhere in the movie and start watching. I picked this point where they where matching and all had matching short-shorts with some type of beret and chanting the above ditty. After a few weeks each one is commando trained and an expert in their field, according to the recruiter. The filmmakers had a great time making this thing. The only thing that it lacks was a group shower scene. Lots of Hollywood bunny "actors" from small town Idaho and New Jersey (probably). After trekking out with jeeps they kill a group of Arab soldiers, who can't fight, then they go back to the hotel and take another group bath. On and on it just never ends. Don't think we'll get a blue ray anytime soon.

From the cheesy dialog to the no-talent 'actresses', there is not one redeeming quality about this 'film'!About the point these commando bikini-models were putting on their flippers and snorkel gear to swim across a lake in a middle of a desert to a stock photograph of a castle in the European mountains I lost my lunch.The biggest laugh of the movie was the reveal of 'Ann' as 'Andy' when a halloween budget mask was pulled off of Ann/Andy. Couldn't help but think of Austin Powers, "That's a MAN, man!"So bad it's laughable! If there was a ZERO STAR rating this movie would have it!

This is without a doubt one of the greatest bad movies ever made. Guns, Babes and bombs. Not your typical family viewing. Filled with gratuitous nudity and violence. How can you say no to great bad film making like this. Those of you who view film as an indelible art form will be disgusted and offended. Those of us who feel film is the ultimate medium for pointless expression of silly ideas will embrace and even cherish this film. A story for the ages, Vegas Showgirls turned Commandos must over come the harsh and unforgiving desert to rescue the son of an American diplomat. Facing Violence, betrayal and a horrible water shortage, Our gang of Multi-cultural beauties battle the forces of comical evil and save the day. My Law class Partner and I were even able to use a couple of scene's in our OAC Law presentation on the Vienna Conventions and War Crimes. The scene involving Food and Water as well as the Tiger feeding scene are classic examples of Cinema at it worst. A laughable entry into the world of film and theater this film is an absolute must for those of us with a pension for B-Movies and all round terrible independent films. It would be a war crime to overlook this gem!

Movies like this give me a headache. Nine bubbly and not-so-bright Vegas show-girls are hired to train for 10 (count em), 10 days to become highly skilled, psuedo-military commandos and execute a top-secret operation in order to rescue an American Ambassador's whiney son. Their training consisted of a four obstacle obstacle course, rifle training with no, repeat, NO instruction on how to use the weapon, and one girl punching a board. Nothing else is even shown to be done, unless you count the "squad" of girls marching around the middle of the desert, chanting their patented cadence, or lounging in the officer's pool as training. Never before has someone's utter lack of desire to make a decent film ever been more showcased than in this movie. It is apparent the thought that T&A would carry this entire film was the motivation behind every scene of this movie. Every scene where the "hell squad" went into action was immediately followed by a scene of all the girls either naked or in their bathing suits. It is this genre of women exploitation which tries to hide behind the mask of "girls kick ass" that makes me shudder at the day they began selling movie cameras to anyone who walked in off the street. The world is in dire need of a written law to prevent any non-film maker from making a film. I swear to you, from the first 20 minutes on to the end of the movie, my jaw hung open in terror as I watched every film making sin take place before my eyes. This movie gave me a headache.I own many original copies of a great number of the movies shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and this movie topples every one of them over. Still, it doesn't make it the worst movie I've ever seen, but it sits in a class of films that are harmful to open skin. Handle movie with care.Scott's judgment: Set your dumbness filter on high while watching this movie