Chrome Angels (2009)

A different way of telling a story

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Yes it is a B movie. Yes it is 100% absurd. Yes you need to turn off all mind/logic to enjoy it. But, if you can do that, you are in for a ride. There are times when it is amazing and others when it is laughable. In all, if you are watching this late at night, not having anything else to do, you can have a good time. I'm not going into story line details much, but it has to do with a gang of female bikers and how they end up in a scheme out of a sci-fi movie. (heh)Technically 7 of 10 (my score for this) is not accurate, my score is more of the fun I had watching this, not any technical or other aspects of this movie.

You know that some films don't make much sense overall, and some hold together pretty well but fall apart at the end, well, this one doesn't make sense on a minute-to-minute basis. The direction is choppy and uneven. The actors can be divided up into those who are incompetent amateurs and those who are competent but unwilling to put any effort into this turkey. The screenwriters occasionally attempted to be clever, with references to other, better SF films, etc., but for the most part their attempts fell flat. Granted, the look of the film was professional and glossy, but it was slapped together in such a haphazard fashion that it only points up what a missed opportunity this was. The basic idea of beauteous babes on motorcycles battling killer androids directed by a evil genius held a lot of promise. It could have been very cool. If they had done interesting camera angles, if they had not interrupted the story with stupid flashbacks, if they had kept the story simple and logical scene by scene, if the characters had been a little more sympathetic, if, if, if a lot of things might have worked together better to make a film worth watching, which this one was not.

Not happy with this one. It is one of very few movies that I have ever just quit watching and not felt like I missed anything, even with half of the movie remaining. The shame is that I've actually liked Dash in other movies that I've seen her in. The image quality was surprisingly high, but the plot and dialog were lacking. I felt no interest in the welfare of the characters while the dialog and plot were cliché-filled and the accents were completely off. I struggled to actually watch the half of the movie that I did watch. Even though I hate to be this down on things, I just felt the other review was misleading enough that there needed to be some balance. To sum it up, it's just not worth the time.

I was ready to watch a B movie and it started OK, I can get past the dumb dialogs & plot because that's more or less what I was expecting, but the movie is so disconnected that it's distracting, for example, the girls are inside a bar surrounded by the robotic police, suddenly appears a swarm of robotic flies or bees or whatever, screen fade for commercials (?) and after that the bees are gone, no mention of them, a few minutes later they're in a shootout with the police, some of the girls just walk past the robots as they don't do nothing while the rest of the girls come out shooting and the robots shoot back and capture them? What was that? Anyway, it's OK if you're in a mood to watch a B movie with some action but no plot or logic, is like one of those movies featured at MST3000