Full English Breakfast (2014)

Very well executed

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Had it have been a comedy spoof, a light-hearted, amusing and self-deprecating take on the multitude of equally awful, mass-produced gangster films out there, then they really have nailed it. However, the mere fact that this film is trying to be serious only adds to the sheer sense of bewilderment you'll be left with after watching this 'production'.The storyline is as unrealistic as any imdB review over one star, yet is somehow not the worst part about the film. Infact, that accolade is hard to award given that every department working on this seemed determined to compete in seeing who could produce the worst tripe possible. The sound is inconsistent and generally terrible, and the acting, oh my! It's truly spectacular, and I mean spectacular. I defy anybody not to burst into laughter throughout the film. Despite saying this, I want everybody to watch it, because you'll never have seen anything like it. It's not two hours wasted, quite the opposite. It will be the two most unforgettable hours of your life.A film made by clowns that will leave you amazed.

This film is hilarious. Everything about it is dreadful. From the young gangster's wife who, despite being filthy rich and living in Dover, seems to be unable to make it to her dreamland of France (oooo, I wonder what the people are like over there? What, about an hour away from your house?) to the post production dubbing and disturbingly wooden acting. There isn't a plot. There isn't a soundtrack as they seem to only have the rights to one song. The comedy value sort of makes it worth watching but actually it isn't worth watching, I don't want to take the blame for subjecting you to it. It's also mildly racist, but the waterboarding scene is much funnier than anything I've seen for a long while. The one thing that could make it worse would be the presence of Danny Dyer. But not much.

I have never rated a film 1 out of 10, but this is an absolutely terrible film and nobody should waste their time on it, with seriously poor production, script, it's one of those films that makes your skin crawl whilst watching it.The whole audio track appears to be have remastered / dubbed because it doesn't fit the lip movements of the actors, characters supposedly having recently arrived in the UK from Afghanistan speak in strong East London accents.For what little plot there is, the pacing is bad, slow and conversational throughout, there is just nothing to like, and it's shocking that this film is almost 2 hours long!Any scenes involving violence are poorly staged and clearly no stunt experts were in play, just some make-up artists that create wounds after the effect to make it look like something has happened!

Wet afternoon, nothing on TV, put this on. Read some reviews on here.....Nothing could have prepared me for what followed. Even though some are accurate, the 8,9 and 10 scores made me give it a go, more fool me. I wouldn't know where to start if I actually went into detail. But, if you read all the positive reviews and decide to watch this utter drivel, then; don't say you haven't been warned. It is badly made, acted terribly, edited for sound by someone with terrible hearing and totally derivative.It's utterly appalling! Leave well alone.