Super Cyclone (2012)

You won't be disappointed!

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

A different way of telling a story

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

If I could give this a negative review I would. This script was written by someone who heard a lot of science words but had no idea what any of them meant, threw them together on paper and then handed then to half a dozen actors they instructed to speak imaginary 'southern' before going to a rudimentary college CGI class and said, we dont really give a flying F about this movie or logic so just make it flashy. They set this in California supposedly but even used a radar image of a hurricane over Florida. Story insultingly moronic, science was nonexistent, acting was infuriating, and for Gods sake there was dust flying up behind the tires when they were supposed to be driving in the 'rain'. I've seen bad movies, but this this one honestly made me either laugh or shake my damn head in disgust.

I watched this movie because I like Ming-Na Wen. I've seen her in several TV shows where she did well. That's it, that's the end of what is good about this movie. I'm about to go and blow torch my retinas for watching this movie. It starts out awful but gets worse. Most of the cast would look bad in a village hall production so how they made it onto a film set is anyone's guess. Maybe they just opened up the studio hung a sign that said "free doughnuts" and cast whoever walked in?I need 10 lines of text for this to be a review so I will have to say more. That's more thought than I wanted to waste on this movie. The physical acting is laughable, people swaying the opposite way to the camera ruining the "we're being shaken about" effect and then magically not being effected by physics as soon as they have a line to say. The pauses and facial expression that are supposed to convey something about what's being said are so bad and mistimed I would swear these people are aliens doing their best "honest we are humans" impressions. I think Nicholas Turturro and Mitch Lerner must have had a side bet going on who can make their part the most ridiculously bad without getting fired.

Seriously, how does The Asylum make money off this kind of garbage? It is a level of terrible that I can barely comprehend. Do they have a meeting with all the actors and direct them to be as horrible as possible? Never mind the atrocious plot line, cartoonish special effects, and total lack of anything approaching continuity. I had to back up just to confirm that I really had seen them showing a "radar" image of the supposed super cyclone crossing southern Florida despite the fact that it's repeatedly stated that this event is happening on the WEST coast. I get that there's some comedic value in horrible movies. We certainly laughed more than once at this piece of junk. But there's cheesy good and there's just plain bad. This was worse than bad. These "actors" should be truly ashamed to have their names listed in the credits of this "film." The writer and director should get out of the movie business, and The Asylum should make about one twentieth of the movies they're making now. Maybe then they'd be able to save up enough money to have a budget slightly larger than the one enjoyed by high school film makers.

I do not normally say that a movie is horrible. I try to look at the intent of the film,the budget, etc. I know that SyFy Channel movies are not good, that is the fun in watching them... knowing how bad they are. But this film is just plain awful. It was made with such little care that it seems as if the people who made it were hanging around in a parking lot making this film with the camera on their cell phones. This film is completely and utterly ineptly made. Here is an example... part of the film takes place on an oil rig out in the middle of the ocean. OK, I understand that you had no budget and could not afford to film on a real oil rig so you had to film at a land based industrial complex. No problem, that is how films are made. One piece of advice... if you are filming at the previously mentioned land based industrial complex as a stand in for your oil rig in the middle of the ocean try not to capture the trees and telephone polls and streets with cars driving by. This was painful to watch.